Himani Nandwana
Meditation – In the Time of Loneliness
I am not loved by my loved ones. There is no one to bug me. I do not have a friend to meet. Loneliness is when you get these and many such thoughts, that just depict negativity. We always seek a close companionship that supports us in every possible way, celebrates our joys, and weeps with us in the miserable times. In simpler terms, we always want someone who doesn’t let us feel lonely at any given time.
The other day I asked myself – Am I lonely? And to my surprise, the answer was YES. Despite having a loving partner, I am lonely, neither from the lack of love nor the absence of a healthy and happy lifestyle, but just a casual loneliness.
Many witness loneliness when they change people, places, and perks. It’s not easy to adapt to the new circumstances and that’s when we build our lonely selves within us. It’s when the connection between the people doesn’t feel the same as before and it just becomes a “casual” matter to go out, meet them, spend some hours, have a fake laugh, and come back home.
Suggested Read: Meditation for stress
How is loneliness different from aloneness?
Daaji says loneliness is not the same as aloneness. Imagine yourself alone on top of a mountain, sipping a cup of hot tea, enjoying the cool weather and feeling nicely tired. Here you don’t feel lonely, here you’re all alone and enjoying your own being. Similarly, when you sit with your family during dinner but completely concentrate on your phone, you’re not lonely; you’re just in your own space. This could even be seen as antisocial.
The reason we are lonely is to do with our inflated egos. We don’t feel connected with the crowd, we don’t feel that we can fit in and engage in their activities. We blame other people for being disconnected from them. But loneliness has nothing to do with people. It’s our arrogance that raises this noise in our heads.
A signal from within
Loneliness is of no good. It’s important to find a solution for it for our own physical and mental wellbeing. Meditation can make us aware that we are all connected. It helps us realize that no matter how much we feel separated from others, our lives are connected in some way or another. Take this as a signal from within and listen to what this inner connection is communicating. Feel the tenderness of the inner feeling as it’s there in all of us since the very beginning and understand the important lesson it is trying to teach – the lesson of togetherness.
Practicing meditation daily at the same hour and the same place makes feel more settled. I do not categorize any feeling as positive or negative, instead, I acknowledge it and let it go.
Though I still sometimes feel lonely, it’s a temporary state. At one moment, the lonely thoughts are there, and gone the next.
Togetherness combats loneliness
Togetherness does not necessarily involve people, but can even include books, games, picking up a hobby, raising a pet; and also, smiling at strangers, listening to good music, and keeping your family and friends close are also signs of togetherness. You don’t need a whole crowd to combat loneliness, just a few meaningful relationships that really matter. Meditate and get to know what your emotions are communicating to you and explore one of the methods of forging togetherness.
Also Read: Meditate to keep depression at bay
As I meditated more, I found that good music and spiritual content – be it on the web or in the books, make me feel connected with life. I choose people, not often though, to see if I could get myself comfortable with them. Sometimes, it works; sometimes, it doesn’t. But I am not ill-at-ease like before.
Make it simple by Heartfulness Meditation
Heartfulness meditation is a simple process that brings our attention inward towards the heart and lets us meditate on it. Regular practice of Heartfulness meditation can help us become aware of our thoughts and in no time, it turns loneliness into joy and contentment.
Tell us your stories of loneliness and how you have dealt with this incredibly painful emotion in the comment section below.
