ADITI SAXENA reflects on the role her mother has played in her life, on her mother as the personification of loving detachment, and the way her mother’s legacy has helped to form her attitudes and values.
“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.”
—Cardinal Mermillod
As the vibrant hues of the Basant 2025 celebrations faded into the quiet of a Sunday evening, I found myself reflecting on the theme of “loving detachment” shared by Daaji. My thoughts naturally flowed toward the one person who has been a living embodiment of this principle—my mother.
Growing up, I never fully grasped the depth of my mother’s wisdom. But as I reflect on my life and childhood, I see her as the embodiment of loving detachment—a principle so profound yet so beautifully simple. My mother is not just my guardian angel but also my guide; a strong nurturer who, as a single parent, raised me and my younger brother with an unparalleled balance of freedom and discipline. Her life is a testament to the idea that true love is not about possession but about nurturing with freedom, guiding with wisdom, and allowing growth through detachment.
Coming from a middle-class Indian family, we were raised with values that transcended boundaries. Humanity always took precedence over any territorial divide. My mother taught us early on that caste, creed, and religion were man-made constructs, while anything that unites humanity was worth pursuing. We grew up with exposure to different cultures, sports, music, and visits to sacred places and spiritual organizations, learning from the lives of great spiritual giants across faiths. Through all this, my mother instilled in us a sense of curiosity, resilience, and independence, shaping us into the individuals we are today.
Nurturing strength through independence
“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.”
—Oscar Wilde
As a rather hyperactive child, I demanded more attention than most; but instead of curbing my energy, my mother found ways to channel it productively. She recognized that a strong body was essential in facing the world, and a well-nourished mind would be born of the right values and habits. From an early age, she ensured we had access to the right environment, guiding us subtly while allowing us to exercise our wisdom based on our age and experience.
She was never one to coddle us, even in the smallest of circumstances. I remember watching other parents dropping their children off at the school bus stop, while my mother never did. As a child, this upset me—I thought she didn’t love us enough. But I later realized she was making us independent, ensuring we could stand on our own. Those times when we woke up late and missed the bus, she didn’t drop everything and rush to drop us off. Instead, she asked us to use our piggy bank savings, catch the right bus, and reach school on our own. What I didn’t know then was that she would silently watch over us, sometimes sending someone behind us on a scooter or coming herself, to ensure we were safe while we tried to learn our lessons. She wanted us to fight our own battles, solve our problems, and only ask for her intervention after we had tried everything we could. This lesson in accountability and self-reliance stayed with us for life.
Wisdom beyond books
“The greatest gift a parent can give their child is a strong foundation of
values and the freedom to grow.”
My mother’s approach to parenting was unconventional. She never pressured us to excel academically but made us aware that our choices would shape our future. She gave us the freedom to decide how much time we wanted to spend studying or playing, instilling a sense of self-discipline rather than fear. As the Sufi mystic Rumi once said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” My mother inspired us to explore positives from our observations with a sense of childlike wonder, also breaking down certain barriers by teaching us to love ourselves, trust our instincts, and embrace life with courage and curiosity. We were encouraged to explore various interests—music, theatre, painting, dance, sports, martial arts, classical singing, and even independent travel within and outside the city by the age of thirteen.
How bold she was! She had unwavering faith in the Divine, trusting that we were always protected. This was in an era without cell phones, where only landlines and a few coins for emergency calls were our safety net. Despite this, she empowered us with the ability to navigate the world fearlessly, making us self-sufficient and capable.
My mother inspired us to explore positives from our observations
with a sense of childlike wonder, also breaking down certain
barriers by teaching us to love ourselves, trust our instincts,
and embrace life with courage and curiosity.
A life rooted in spirituality and service
“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth.”
—Muhammad Ali
One of the most beneficial gifts my mother gave us was an early exposure to spirituality. She never imposed any belief system on us. When I expressed my interest in knowing more about Buddhism, Jainism, Sufism, Christianity, I was subtly guided to tag along with my aunt when she used to attend Sunday mass or sing in the choir. I could visit the library to read about Sufi saints, and understand the origin of different religions. She encouraged us to rise above dogmas, orthodox thinking, and societal boundaries, and to embrace the universal truths that bind us all by discovering the divine on our own.
As Kabir beautifully said, “The river that flows in you also flows in me.”
My mother taught us to see the same divine essence in everyone, regardless of their background. So celebrations in our home were different; birthdays or milestones and some of our weekends were spent visiting orphanages, old age homes, and animal shelters, sharing our joys with those who didn’t have families. She always emphasized the power of giving, valuing education and skill-sharing over material wealth. Through her actions, she showed us that the essence of life lies in nurturing, protecting, and uplifting others by understanding the power of humility and kindness.
Through her actions, she showed us that the
essence of life lies in nurturing, protecting, and
uplifting others by understanding the
power of humility and kindness.
The silent influence of a spiritual warrior
“The best way to teach a child is by example.”
—Mother Teresa
Despite her numerous responsibilities, my mother never wavered in her spiritual practices. Morning meditation, evening cleaning, and night prayers were non-negotiable. We would sit silently beside her, imitating her devotion without realizing how deeply it was shaping us. Every Sunday, no matter where we were, she would find a Heartfulness Center and take us along. Her commitment to her path, filled with simplicity, humility, and joy silently influenced us, making us seekers in our own right.
As we grew older, my mother became our friend, someone we
could freely talk to about our likes, interests, and
dilemmas. She taught us to listen to our hearts and use
our intuitive capabilities to make life decisions
In the words of the poet Khalil Gibran, “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”
As we grew older, my mother became our friend, someone we could freely talk to about our likes, interests, and dilemmas. She taught us to listen to our hearts and use our intuitive capabilities to make life decisions, but her wisdom was not confined to us alone. Over the years, my friends and colleagues have found solace in her presence, often visiting our home to seek her guidance. I often joked that they were more her friends than mine!
A living example of grace and strength
“A mother’s love is infinite, her
strength unparalleled, and her
wisdom timeless.”
Today, my mother remains an inspiration—not just to me but to all those who spend time with her. She defied all odds as a single parent, ensuring we received the education we needed while teaching us to make our mark in the world through our actions and values. She encouraged us to be silent change makers, to stand up for what is right, and to protect those who cannot protect themselves.
Her ability to rise above setbacks with a solution-oriented outlook has been one of her greatest strengths. She never allowed circumstances to dictate our destiny. Even when she suffered from severe arthritis, she put her mind towards reversing the condition with the help of yoga, and her own determination. She now continues to hike, travel, and embrace life with the same enthusiasm as ever.
She remains my greatest teacher, my unwavering staff of support, and a true example of grace in action. Through her, I have learned that love is not about possession but about nurturing, guiding, and ultimately letting go with faith. I have learned from her to trust in life, to walk with kindness, and to let love flow freely, as she always has.
And so, her legacy continues—not just in us but in everyone she has touched along the way. For she is the heart of our home, the light of our path, and the living embodiment of loving detachment.
“God could not be everywhere, and
therefore he made mothers.”
—Rudyard Kipling
Through her, I have learned that love is
not about possession but about nurturing,
guiding, and ultimately letting go with faith.
I have learned from her to trust in life, to walk with kindness, and
to let love flow freely, as she always has.
Aditi Saxena
