Miriam has been working as a professional silversmith since 2008, creating pieces for private clients and public commissions, including the Worshipful Company of Goldsmiths, Eton College, New College Oxford, The Victoria and Albert Museum and the National Museum of Wales. Her work has been exhibited in numerous exhibitions internationally, including in the UK, Germany, Hong Kong, Malaysia and Finland.

Miriam-Hanid.jpg

Miriam Hanid

<hr class="vertical-space1" />
<h3 style="text-align: center">AN ART ESSAY</h3>
<hr class="vertical-space1" />
<h4>
 <spanundefined>MIRIAM HANID is an artist
 silversmith. In 2016, she was interviewed by
 ROSALIND PEARMAIN for Heartfulness
 Magazine about her art and her motivations. Five years later, they catch
 up again to find out more about Miriam’s journey, and where her art has
 taken her.
</h4>
<hr class="vertical-space1" />

 <spanundefined style="color: #b98d30">Q: The last time we reflected on your work it was in&nbsp;<a style="color: #b98d30" href="https://www.heartfulnessmagazine.com/silver-and-water/"
 target="_blank" rel="noopener">2016</a>. Looking at your website, you have been so busy since then,
 continuing
 to create so many exquisite works of sheer beauty. How have you sustained
 this output?


 <spanundefined>MH: Wow, time flies! Thank you, it’s
 always nice to receive good feedback about my work! Many factors come to
 mind about how I have sustained my output, but I would say the main ones
 are rest, motivation, and beauty. While these words may not seem to be
 closely linked, they all work together for me. It is extremely difficult
 to be motivated without proper rest. Working at an optimal level, the best
 possible, work seems more like play and the end of the day comes as a
 surprise. The work is so enjoyable, and one is completely absorbed in it.
 I believe that leads to great rest.


 <spanundefined>As the days and months pass, when reflecting on my career so far, I often
 look back on the most productive times with much amazement. But I have
 found myself overlooking the times of non-doing – those necessary inner
 periods when I’m just resting, relaxing and absorbing all that is going
 on. I now know that these are the opportunities where inspirational seeds
 can poke their heads above the surface to see what the conditions are like
 for growth. If my motivation is replenished (more on that later), and I
 can nourish those seeds, I can catch many new ideas for silver pieces,
 textures, forms and patterns which then come into being.
 


<hr class="vertical-space1" />
<img class="w-100" src="
 https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/silver2_6b5bd5181f.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T03:15:37.102Z
 " alt="silver" />
<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 <spanundefined>Working in precious metal is laborious, particularly chasing and
 engraving, my two signature techniques. The metal demands care, attention,
 and precision at every step. Nothing can be rushed, or it ends up taking
 longer to correct mistakes.


 <spanundefined>The driving force behind any work, whether the physical sculpting of the
 silver, or planning and designing, is undoubtedly motivation. There are
 countless books on how to find your “why power,” the reason why you do
 what you do. If the mental or emotional “why” is strong, the physical work
 will fall into place and become easier. To brighten up someone’s spirit,
 to give a gift of hope, to surpass my past performance, to thank the
 universe and all the people in it for all the things I’ve learned so far,
 and to express them in a creative expression of gratitude, I find myself
 going back to my why at times of difficulty. It is hard to put into words,
 but I think this is where beauty comes in. The expression and gift of
 beauty is probably my biggest why.
 


 <spanundefined>John O’Donohue writes in his book,
 Beauty: The Invisible Embrace, “When we feel and know and touch
 the beautiful, we feel that we are at one with ourselves – because in some
 subtle and secret way, beauty meets the needs of the soul. The Earth is
 full of concealed beauty,” and all we are doing in art is revealing it
 from the depths of our consciousness – and perhaps from the universal
 consciousness.


 <spanundefined style="color: #b98d30">Q: Evidently, you continue to be inspired so much by the forces of
 nature, especially water, but we can see that you are also interested in
 many forms and patterns that you observe around you.


 <spanundefined>MH: I think the inspirations that
 attract me change and go through seasons. I feel I can always draw on
 water with its never-ending variety of forms and patterns, encompassing
 energy and movement which echoes the great flow of love all around us. I
 also like this to birth in different shapes and matters – those of
 botanical forms such as leaves, buds and flowers, wood, earth, stone and
 ice. I have realized more and more that the manner in which a subject is
 represented in any work is where the real richness lies. The clues around
 the subject, how it has been carefully and lovingly shaped and shaded, as
 well as represented or considered in the overall design, speaks volumes
 about what the artist is actually communicating with the receiver.


<hr class="vertical-space1" />
<img class="w-100" src="
 https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/silver3_ver2_482d4e3e87.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T03:17:04.963Z
 " alt="silver" />
<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 <spanundefined style="color: #b98d30">Q: I can see that Japanese traditional forms, such as Manga, are also
 resonant for your own work and giving you a new direction. Can you say
 more about how you came to this?


 <spanundefined>MH: I have always loved oriental art,
 from the time I studied it in my A levels and the influence it had on Art
 Nouveau, to coming across beautiful woodblock prints and books, such as
 The Grammar of Chinese Ornament, which has many visual motifs
 which excite me and subconsciously feed into my work.
 


 <spanundefined>When writing my latest blog post, “<a
 href="https://miriamhanid.com/?p=1866">Oriental Inspired Works</a>,” I
 explored pen and ink Manga with a natural theme after my creative
 communication assistant, Emma, suggested I look into it. I came across
 many striking examples of exquisite mark making, which I found very
 inspirational. I can see these feeding into my use of hand engraving,
 which uses a series of lines to create different visual effects on
 silver.


<hr class="vertical-space1" />
<img class="w-100" src="
 https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/silver4_33cc7e896c.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T03:18:03.638Z
 " alt="silver" />
<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 
 <spanundefined>Q: Recently, there were some lovely BBC TV programs by the art
 historian James Fox about Japanese art. He pointed out how Japanese
 artists and craftsmen show a reverence and care for the materials they
 shape; for example, saws and planes are pulled rather than pushed across
 the wood by a master carpenter. They revere
 
 
 <spanundefined>the spirit of the material they are working with, demonstrating the
 beauty of the humble and everyday object. I was wondering, do any of
 these strike a chord with you, too?


 <spanundefined>MH: I haven’t seen this series, but
 will definitely watch it. It sounds fascinating and seems a very natural
 way to work with the materials, which are so precious to us as
 craftspeople. Reverence and care are also very important to me when
 working with a precious metal – listening to it by observing the signs of
 stress and tension, and respecting these whilst being aware that the metal
 can be worked to its limit if treated with respect.
 


 <spanundefined>The Flower of Love Tumbler was a piece where I tried to stretch the metal
 a bit further than normal, and I’m very pleased with the result. I plan to
 continue in this way, refining as I go, and hopefully pushing more
 boundaries. There comes a point where it takes great motivation and vision
 to keep going. It is easy to stop and settle for what the piece may be at
 that moment, but I feel staying true to one’s own vision is important.
 This might equally entail knowing when to stop.


<hr class="vertical-space1" />
<img class="w-100" src="
 https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/silver5_117e54b291.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T03:18:53.583Z
 " alt="silver" />
<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 <spanundefined>Q: You mention the significance of simplicity.
 


 <spanundefined>MH: This has become an element in my
 designs all by itself. Looking at my work, one may think that it is far
 from simple, however, an object can be meticulously worked by hand and
 also be simple in design. That is what I aim to achieve, not adding
 anything unnecessary other than the inherent theme which runs through the
 piece. Many of my pieces are quite busy, yet I aim to imbue each piece
 with a unified feeling so that the piece is inherently harmonious.
 


 <spanundefined>The chasing or engraving often follows the same trajectory of the initial
 shape of the silver piece, and they work in tandem with its nature rather
 than having a different flow. I feel this is the same for simple living,
 and it is one of the great insights of Heartfulness – to be plain, simple,
 and thus in tune with nature. For example, as the sun rises, we also rise;
 as it sets, we rest. We are in harmony.


<hr class="vertical-space1" />
<img class="w-100" src="
 https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/silver6_aaee12b833.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T03:19:48.087Z
 " alt="silver" />
&nbsp;
<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 <spanundefined style="color: #b98d30">Q: Are there any pieces you have been making that are most valued by
 you?


 <spanundefined>MH: Yes, the Cascade Loving Cup,
 which was my major commission for 2020 and was delivered in October, in
 between the lockdowns in the UK. A commission for the Clothworkers’
 Company of London, the cup evokes a swirling piece of cloth and is deeply
 chased with draped fabric and yarn fibres. The piece took 800 to 1000
 hours of chasing, working the metal from the inside and outside in order
 to achieve the depth. I collaborated with a fellow silversmith, Jenny
 Edge, who developed the design of the handles and made them. Working
 together resulted in this key aspect of the design, and a much more
 dynamic piece than I could have achieved on my own, particularly as
 Jenny’s specialty is anticlastic raising, by which the inner curves of the
 handles were formed. It meant she could bring a movement and synergy to
 the handles which complemented my chasing. The turned wooden models and
 maquettes made by my father, an engineer, also greatly help the
 realization of my designs.
 


 <spanundefined>The Mountain Incense Burner is another commission that I look back on
 with particular joy. After my Union Centrepiece was exhibited in the
 “Masterpieces of British Silver: Highlights from the Victoria and Albert
 Museum” in Hong Kong, a client who saw it asked me to design and make an
 incense burner. I really loved researching the mountainous terrain, the
 flora and fauna of rural Chinese landscapes in order to design the chasing
 on this piece. It is one of my most intricate pieces to date, and took
 considerable time to create. It remains one of my favourites.
 


<hr class="vertical-space1" />
<img class="w-100" src="
 https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/silver7_9ca66b96ee.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T03:20:40.219Z
 " alt="silver" />
<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 <spanundefined style="color: #b98d30">Q: I see that you have also been hosting interns. How did you find
 that?


 <spanundefined>MH: It was a great summer of 2019,
 and looking back I value it even more! I really enjoyed the vitality,
 determination and enthusiasm of my two young students, Sana and Julius,
 from Paris and Vienna respectively. They asked to come and learn
 silversmithing and chasing from me, in two-month and one-month
 internships. Their aptitude and curiosity to learn and apply the
 techniques to their own work was really refreshing, and I really enjoyed
 having them in the workshop. We made a road trip to see the master
 engraver, Malcolm Appleby, in Scotland, and had a great time at a hand
 engraving symposium there. I have many fond memories of creating,
 designing, experimenting and sharing.


 <spanundefined style="color: #b98d30">Q: How does Heartfulness affect your work?


 <spanundefined>MH: I would say that the practices of
 Heartfulness enhance my connection to my work, and transform it from
 something merely physical into a day-to-day and lifelong passion and
 personal practice. This cannot be put into words, but I would attempt to
 describe the process by saying, “If Heartfulness were not there, I would
 not be able to see in order to create.”


 <spanundefined>The inspirational people I’ve met through Heartfulness seminars and
 groups in the UK and around the world form a network of creative
 connections with beauty of spirit as a running theme. The exceptional
 talent and enthusiasm for their work of many Heartfulness practitioners –
 whatever form that work may take – has inspired and nurtured me throughout
 my career and life so far.
 


<hr class="vertical-space1" />
<img class="w-100" src="
 https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/silver8_424632ff61.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T03:21:32.494Z
 " alt="silver" />
<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 <spanundefined>
 I should also say something about the times I find it difficult to carry
 on, when I feel depleted, tired, lacking in vision or clarity, or just
 can’t see the point of my work anymore. It’s my own regular Heartfulness
 practice that always reveals a helpful insight about the situation. That
 daily silent time with my Self brings forth new inspiration, energy,
 resources, and clarity. It supports my adventure in life generally, which
 then undoubtedly influences my silversmithing practice with a fresh
 perspective. This cannot be underestimated. It also confirms that without
 rest, motivation and beauty, I question whether any of my work would exist
 in the way it does today.


 <spanundefined>I found this quote, which is from The Creative Fire by Clarissa
 Pinkola Estés: “Because there must be a decline and a time of utter
 stillness, creativity can never be paradisical. It can never be utopia
 wherein it just flows and flows and flows with no maintenance, with no
 waiting periods. In everything manifest, there is vibrancy then decline
 followed by restoration.”


<hr class="vertical-space1" />
<img class="w-100" src="
 https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/silver9_fac883be14.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T03:22:21.725Z
 " alt="silver" />
<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 <spanundefined style="color: #b98d30">Q: What next?


 <spanundefined>MH: The effect of the current
 pandemic has marginally reduced my commissions, so, whilst working on
 various silver projects at a more relaxed speed, I have enjoyed exploring
 new techniques, working on a building conversion project with my father,
 spending more time supporting Heartfulness practitioners through various
 online programs and virtual meditation sessions, reading and gathering new
 inspiration.
 


 <spanundefined>I have also been having a slower pace of life, which, as I mentioned
 earlier, is very necessary.&nbsp;Thankfully, I have been fortunate to have
 consistent income from my work, which is very encouraging. My next project
 will be a Roses Beaker, as part of a collection of four beakers on the
 theme of the four nations of the UK – a concept which my client is
 commissioning from four different silversmiths. The climbing roses will be
 chased in my usual style and softly gilded with gold fading out from the
 centre of each flower.


 <spanundefined>In the long term, my husband and I have always dreamed of setting up a
 center where people can come to retreat from their busy lives, learn
 silversmithing and experience the rural beauty of Suffolk. It would be a
 creative sabbatical and a retreat from technology. I’m looking forward to
 seeing what unfolds in the years to come and to exploring how we can bring
 this project into being in order to provide a space where interested
 people can slow down and open up the ground for inspirational seeds to
 grow.

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<hr />

<h4 style="text-align: center">
 <spanundefined>
 Interviewed by ROSALIND PEARMAIN
 
</h4>

<hr />

Silver

Mohamed Osman is an Egyptian-American writer, Reiki master, tarot reader, and spiritual explorer. A devoted lover of Meher Baba, his work bridges mysticism, healing, and interfaith insight across traditions and cultures.

mohamed-osman.webp

Mohamed Osman

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">MOHAMED OSMAN meditates on the historic meeting between Francis of Assisi and Sultan Al-Malik al-Kamil during the Fifth Crusade—a moment of sanctuary that transcends centuries.</h4>During the Fifth Crusade, a barefoot mystic named Francis of Assisi crossed into the land of my ancestors — all the way to Damietta.He brought no army. No doctrine. Only fire — a soul ablaze for truth.The Sultan of Egypt, Al-Malik al-Kamil, saw him. And instead of war, offered peace. No conversion. No bargain. Just sanctuary.He saw the Divine in a man who worshipped differently and said, “You are safe with me.”Francis couldn’t repay that favor. So he carried it — like a seed, waiting for a soul who could.

Where Love’s Camels Lead - From the Nile to the Mountain

<h4>In part 1 of this series of poems, MOHAMED OSMAN traces a personal <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/a-personal-journey-part-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">spiritual journey</a> beginning on the Nile and culminating in a moment of grace atop the mountains of Assisi. It speaks to <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/change-now-never" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">inner transformation</a>, interfaith understanding, and the quiet unfolding of the soul.</h4>&nbsp;<figure class="image"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/love_camel_mountain2_8326ffbd15.webp" alt="love-camel-mountain2.webp"></figure>&nbsp;(The Favor, Fulfilled) —by Mo<h4>Born of Two Waters</h4>I was born by the Nile, in Mansoura—not far from Damietta, where the river meets the sea: one side salt, one side sweet.The Qur’an speaks of this mystery: “He has let loose the two seas meeting together: Between them is a barrier they do not transgress.” (55:19–20)Even as a child, that place felt holy. We were poor, couldn’t go often. But my wealthy aunt had a place there—though her husband was cruel. So I’d wander the shore alone, head tilted to the sky, asking questions I didn’t yet know how to ask.Later, I returned to that beach. To smoke. To drink. To search. I walked the sands of Damietta, not knowing I was retracing sacred steps.Not knowing a saint had once come there, carrying a gift— and waiting for someone to return it. &nbsp;

Where Love’s Camels Lead From the Nile to the Mountain - part 1

Monica is a passionate practitioner and teacher of subtle energy with nearly 20 years experience. Combining her engineering and MBA background with studies in BioGeometry®, Vastu, Feng Shui, Energy Medicine, and biofields, she bridges ancient wisdom with a scientific perspective.

Monica.webp

Monica Verma-Vachery

How heartfulness meditation shifts our biofield and the energies in a room

Monu Singh

<h3 style="text-align:center;">A PHOTO ESSAY IN RURAL TELANGANA</h3><h4>Members of the Heartfulness Media Team traveled with DAAJI to rural Telangana on the Deccan Plateau, to document the meditation sessions he has been conducting with the villagers in Mahbubnagar District. Here MONU SINGH treats us to just a glimpse of the silent revolution that is sweeping the villages of India through meditation programs in the heartland of the country.</h4>Clean air, green farms, simple hearts and village life … it sounds so idyllic, but rural life in India can be very difficult. Here are some snippets from conversations with eight local villagers in Mahbubnagar District, about their lives before starting meditation and how Heartfulness has transformed them.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/silent_revolution2_5589d1ee9a.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T07:52:26.056Z" alt=""><hr>Elderly lady: “I had so many fears about finances, family matters. I used to fear seeing everybody, I was scared of everything.” Potter: “I was always scared that other people may harm me.” Farmer: “It has been a long time since I slept well.” Mother: “I would get very angry without realizing it.” Elderly gentleman: “I was losing my confidence.” Mother: “I don’t know how to change.”<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/silent_revolution3_4145e598c6.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T07:53:46.292Z" alt="">During our conversations, they said that in the past they tended to solve their problems only with their minds, and using the mind they were stressed. They came to understand that they could try a different approach. They all decided to try meditation, with the hope that the mind would also follow the direction of the heart.Potter: “When I would see the picture of Shiva, he was in a <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/on-meditation" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">meditative pose</a>. I would ask myself, ‘What is God doing?’” Elderly lady: “We used to do what everyone did, puja etc. Husband of a married couple: “People used to say that meditation is only needed once you are old, so why do you want to do it now?” Potter: “I never really understood what meditation was.”These villagers learnt about meditation, experimented and had experiences in meditation. After a while, they also shared the changes they found in themselves.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/silent_revolution4_622925b734.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T07:54:38.823Z" alt="">Second elderly gentleman: “When I make the suggestion that there is Divine Light in the heart, I feel like a bird escaping the cage and flying freely. I do not know what happens after that.” Potter: “After I started meditating, I lost most of my fears.” Elderly lady: “Even when there is a problem, we don’t feel its presence.” Potter: “I started noticing everybody around me after I started meditating.” Shopkeeper: “After starting meditation I felt many changes and began to develop myself.” First elderly gentleman: “Now I can do a lot of things with courage.” The mother: “Anger has decreased to a great extent.”<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/silent_revolution5_844b799dbf.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T08:00:18.872Z" alt="">Farmer: “I have been sleeping peacefully ever since I started meditating.” Husband: “We will be peaceful only with meditation. We will develop mentally, and the family will become peaceful too.” Elderly lady: “When we are meditating there is no need for fear.” Potter: “You will not get the same happiness anywhere in the world that you get from meditation. Happiness is within us. The only way to be happy is to meditate. It is inside us. That’s all.” Elderly lady: “Meditation need not be restricted only to our families or a few of us.” Husband: “Everybody needs meditation.”<hr>One lamp lights another lamp. One heart inspires another heart. From one house to another. From one village to another.<hr>Elderly lady: “Now it is the heart’s turn.”<hr>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPJFnqeVVQ4<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Article by MONU SINGH Photos by the HEARTFULNESS MEDIA TEAM</h4><hr>

A silent revolution in the heartland of India

Mother-Teresa.jpg

Mother Teresa

The fruit of silence

How much love

Love in action

The greatest gift to a family

We Have Only Today

Mudrooroo

Oneness

Mr. Haniff is the Director of Pure Land Learning College Association Inc., Toowoomba, Australia. In 2010, he was invited by Professor Master Chin Kung AM to establish the Multifaith and Multicultural Centre.

muhammed-haniff1.webp

Muhammed Haniff Abdul Razak

<h4>MUHAMMED HANIFF ABDUL RAZAK, Coordinator at the Multi-Faith Multicultural Center and Pure Land Learning College, shares how the organization has been involved in building social and cultural harmony in diversity in the city of Toowoomba in Australia. Their vision for peace is practical and based on the vision of their founder, the Venerable Master Chin Kung A.M.&nbsp;</h4>Toowoomba is a regional city to the west of Brisbane in Queensland, Australia. It has several heritage façades, many parks, and a population of about 200,000. In 2001, the Venerable Master Chin Kung A.M. decided to make this city the home for Pure Land Learning College Association Inc. Since that time, as well as being a Buddhist Center, it has also become a Peace Advocate Center that brings everyone together, building a shared future for a better world to live in. In June 2013, Toowoomba was declared by the Mayor, Paul Antonio, a Refugee Welcome Zone.Today Toowoomba is a city proud to have residents from eighty different ethnicities, beliefs, customs, and cultures, coming from Germany, the British Isles, Malaysia, Singapore, Nepal, Korea Afghanistan, Syria, Sudan, Congo, Iraq, South Africa, Sri Lanka, China, Somalia, Libya, and Pakistan, just to name a few of those making Toowoomba their home. We have a school where 26 languages are spoken daily. It is a mini-United Nation in Australia. And the demographics are growing. This has sparked the eminent Venerable Master Chin Kung to have the vision of making Toowoomba a model city of peace and harmony.&nbsp;<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony2_c2be9c01ce.webp" alt="model-city-peace-harmony2.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_model_city_peace_harmony2_c2be9c01ce.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_model_city_peace_harmony2_c2be9c01ce.webp 600w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony2_c2be9c01ce.webp 600w," sizes="100vw"><h4 style="text-align:justify;">How the journey began: Friendship Dinners since 2001</h4>What sparks a community initiative from this seemingly simple gathering over meals and sharing stories? Allow us to reflect some understanding of the basics and fundamentals that have helped us to make this journey possible. We hold on to the principles that:⦁ Humans are bundles of potential. ⦁ The basic building blocks of life are relationships. ⦁ Educate and communicate, don’t teach. ⦁ Technology cannot replace human conversation. ⦁ Leadership reminds—authority tells.The Friendship Dinners have created opportunities for conversation. They have created a safe space for all community members to be together. They have built bonds and fellowship, and as a result trust has emerged. Why do people want to journey with us, be a partner? They believe in what we believe. When we build trust, people are willing to take risks, experiment, and explore. We create a sense of purpose for others to journey with us.&nbsp;<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony4_b893550110.webp" alt="model-city-peace-harmony4.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_model_city_peace_harmony4_b893550110.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_model_city_peace_harmony4_b893550110.webp 600w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony4_b893550110.webp 600w," sizes="100vw">&nbsp;<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony3_3bba2c2334.webp" alt="model-city-peace-harmony3.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_model_city_peace_harmony3_3bba2c2334.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_model_city_peace_harmony3_3bba2c2334.webp 500w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony3_3bba2c2334.webp 500w," sizes="100vw"><hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">When we build trust, people are willing to take risks, experiment, and explore. We create a sense of purpose for others to journey with us.</h4><hr>The Toowoomba guidelines in promoting religious harmony and social cohesion are:⦁ A strategic road map which includes core programs. ⦁ A tagline that is easily identifiable, “Everyone Matters.” ⦁ An organized platform, an action plan. ⦁ A Secretariat: the Multi-Faith Multicultural Center established to support the agenda.&nbsp;<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony5_95950eac8d.webp" alt="model-city-peace-harmony5.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_model_city_peace_harmony5_95950eac8d.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_model_city_peace_harmony5_95950eac8d.webp 800w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony5_95950eac8d.webp 800w," sizes="100vw">Our programs and action plan are crafted along the four cardinal principles of Sharing, Kind Words, Beneficial Acts, and Cooperation. These are at the center of the Venerable Master Chin Kung’s teachings, in order to connect and engage, and to enhance social flourishing. Examples of the four cardinal principles in action are:Sharing: friendship dinners, harmony lunches, tea gatherings, harmony day, language and cultural festivals.Kind Words: social values and ethics classes, faith sharing.Beneficial Acts: sponsorship of medical research, community development programs, Clean Up Australia Day, working together, First Nations Endowment Scholarship Fund, Toowoomba Hospice Community Fund, Community Labyrinth.Cooperation: collaboration in conferences, workshops, training, talks, and activities with government and other community and voluntary organizations.We thrive because we believe in conversation not debate. We constantly remind ourselves that “The mind debates, the heart relates.” We educate rather than teach, we practice servant leadership, we adopt the 101% principle, we follow the simple tagline “Everyone Matters,” and we invest in our emotional bank.&nbsp;<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony6_9dc0405fcc.webp" alt="model-city-peace-harmony6.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_model_city_peace_harmony6_9dc0405fcc.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_model_city_peace_harmony6_9dc0405fcc.webp 800w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony6_9dc0405fcc.webp 800w," sizes="100vw">&nbsp;<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony7_d1956eac17.webp" alt="model-city-peace-harmony7.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_model_city_peace_harmony7_d1956eac17.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_model_city_peace_harmony7_d1956eac17.webp 800w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony7_d1956eac17.webp 800w," sizes="100vw"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony8_105ac218d4.webp" alt="model-city-peace-harmony8.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_model_city_peace_harmony8_105ac218d4.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_model_city_peace_harmony8_105ac218d4.webp 603w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony8_105ac218d4.webp 603w," sizes="100vw"><h4 style="text-align:justify;">Examples of positive outcomes of our initiatives:</h4>Toowoomba was designated a “Safe City” in May 2018.A research project undertaken by Deakin University on “How Religious and Social Harmony Thrives in Toowoomba” made special mention in the finding that Toowoomba is the only city that has a working mechanism in place to bring religions together.Attachment of an intern from Harvard University to look at our programs and activities that inspires religious and social harmony.Finalist in 2018 State of Queensland Multicultural Award.Inspired and assisted in the opening of a Multi Faith and Cultural Dialogue Center in the Shire of Moreton Bay by the Abbey of St Michael’s Church.Publication of the 360 Sayings of the Scriptures of 10 main religions.Publication of 360 Words of WisdomAcceptance of having a common prayer or affirmation by religious and community groups, which is read at services, functions, and on Australia Day.A radio program on customs, beliefs, and cultures aired every Friday and Sunday over our community station 102.7FM. The program is into its tenth year on air.The formation of the Venerable Community Group headed by the Executive Director, Toowoomba Base Hospital, in response to managing the Covid-19 pandemic. Thirty-five government and community organizations met via zoom every Wednesday to share resources and support.Establishment of an advisory board made up of academics from Singapore, Malaysia, Brunei, and Australia that advises and provides direction for our agenda.Pastoral care that provides support for families of different beliefs and practices.Winner of “Community Group of the Year,” Australia Day Award Local Region 2022.Defusing of tensions and conflicts, with two documented case studies.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony9_28cc6cb901.webp" alt="model-city-peace-harmony9.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_model_city_peace_harmony9_28cc6cb901.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_model_city_peace_harmony9_28cc6cb901.webp 800w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_city_peace_harmony9_28cc6cb901.webp 800w," sizes="100vw"><hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Photographs and diagrams from PURE LAND</h4><hr>&nbsp;

A model city of peace and harmony

Myrian Castello is from Minas Gerais, Brazil. She’s an entrepreneur and a silent change maker. As the co-founder of Fábrica dos Sonhos and the International Right to Dream Movement, she’s making sure people do not give up on their right to dream.

myrian-castello.jpg

Myrian Castello

Dreams: Our birth right

N. Divya

Nalini Rajesh is a transformation coach and Heartfulness meditation trainer. Through her initiative, Transformatrix—The Soul Studio, she facilitates journaling circles, quantum resonance trainings, and women’s workshops. Her work focuses on grounding awareness, integrating emotions, and helping seekers embody inner growth with clarity, compassion, and balance in daily life.&nbsp;

nalini-rajesh.webp

Nalini Rajesh

<h3 style="text-align:center;">Journaling as Awareness, Grounding, and Reflection</h3><h4 style="text-align:center;">Nalini Rajesh shares how journaling serves as a powerful tool for self-discovery and spiritual integration in this excerpt from her upcoming book, The Ink Within.</h4>In a world where speaking is louder than sensing and sharing is quicker than self-reflection, a quiet practice waits almost forgotten: journaling.Through seasons of stillness, resistance, and discovery, I have learned that journaling goes beyond therapy—it is a ritual that grounds me, an anchor for my soul, and the one place I can hear what I cannot speak aloud.When pen meets page, the swirls in the mind start taking shape. Thoughts become clearer, feelings softer, and insights find their words. Something in us exhales as our fleeting thoughts and feelings become embodied.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:50%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/art_journaling2_fee1739152.webp" alt="art-journaling2.webp"></figure>&nbsp;<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Through seasons of stillness, resistance, and discovery, I have learned that journaling goes beyond therapy—it is a ritual that grounds me, an anchor for my soul, and the one place I can hear what I cannot speak aloud.&nbsp;</h4><hr>&nbsp;<h4 style="text-align:justify;">Journaling as Awareness</h4>Much of life happens beneath the surface. We react, repeat, and carry emotions we cannot name—and they quietly shape our choices. Journaling slows this current and brings it into the light.I noticed this in myself: the days I resisted writing were the days I was closest to my truth. On the page, what I avoided—an ache, a fear, a restless loop—revealed itself. And in naming it, the grip loosened.Science affirms this. Naming an emotion calms the amygdala, the brain’s alarm center. Writing activates the prefrontal cortex, the seat of reflection and wise choice. In short, journaling helps us shift from automatic reaction to conscious response.A single sentence—“I feel restless”—can change everything. Once written, restlessness is no longer consuming; it is witnessed as something separate from oneself. A new awareness is born.<h4 style="text-align:justify;">Journaling as Grounding</h4>Inner experiences can feel vast—deep stillness, sudden clarity, or strong emotion. Without grounding, they may fade or leave us unsettled.For me, journaling became the way to hold them. Subtle experiences no longer slipped away; they were anchored, seen, and allowed to positively shape me. It is like lightning: when high voltage strikes, we need an earthing or grounding wire to carry the current into the ground safely. Without it, the energy can become destructive. Psychology describes journaling in this way—as a safe discharge, like releasing extra electricity from an overloaded system. It prevents emotional buildup.At the same time, journaling grounds higher inspirations. When divine guidance or a sudden spark arrives, writing ensures it is not lost. What could remain fleeting takes form as language, memory, and direction.Thus, journaling steadies both our emotional residue and our subtle inspirations. It carries what feels heavy and anchors what feels light.<h4 style="text-align:justify;">Journaling as Reflection</h4>More than awareness and grounding, journaling is a mirror—not for the face we show the world, but for the truths we carry within.It showed me how easily I could speak of peace while avoiding discomfort, or claim calmness while deeper feelings lingered without acknowledgement. On the page, these patterns became visible.Reflection gives us a process map. It records the starting point—how we actually felt in a given moment—and allows us to see what shifted and where we reached, whether in meditation, inner work, or daily life. This continuity deepens honesty and self-awareness.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:50%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/art_journaling3_c89d78fac7.webp" alt="art-journaling3.webp"></figure>&nbsp;Reflection is not unkind criticism, but compassionate seeing. The journal does not judge or rush us. It simply holds space for whatever arises. Over time, this space becomes sacred. It prevents spiritual bypass—the tendency to use spiritual practices to avoid facing difficult emotions or shadow aspects—and invites integration instead.<h4 style="text-align:justify;">A Final Word</h4>Journaling is not merely an act of recording one’s life; it is a tool to integrate one’s life.&nbsp;Awareness brings the unconscious into light.Grounding gives form to the subtle.Reflection connects the starting point, process, and destination.Without journaling, even elevated experiences may inspire briefly, yet fail to transform daily living. With journaling, however, growth becomes embodied. What is received in silence becomes anchored in expression. What we discover within ourselves can be carried into our choices, relationships, and actions.Therefore, journaling is not a luxury but a necessity. For anyone walking an evolutionary path—whether through meditation, self-inquiry, or other practices—it becomes an essential bridge. It ensures that what is glimpsed inwardly is also lived outwardly.Journaling is the link between inner work and outer living—the forgotten art that makes our journey whole.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:50%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/art_journaling4_42fd303a01.webp" alt="art-journaling4.webp"></figure>&nbsp;<h4 style="text-align:justify;">Three Journaling Prompts for Daily Use</h4>For awareness: “Right now, I feel…” Write for 5 minutes without editing.For grounding: After meditation or silence, note what arose, what stayed, and what questions remain.For reflection: At the end of the day, write one reaction you had and inquire what was beneath it.Just a few lines each day can shift awareness from fleeting experience to embodied growth.

The Forgotten Art of Journaling

Nancy is a Tanzanian author, businesswoman and social entrepreneur. She is the Managing Director of Bongo5 Media Group Ltd, the Executive Director of The Neghesti Sumari Foundation and The Jenga Hub, as well as a published author of the children’s book series, Nyota Yako. In 2017, Africa Youth Awards named her among the 100 Most Influential Young Africans.

NANCY-SUMARI.jpg

NANCY SUMARI

<h4>NANCY SUMARI, former Miss Tanzania and Miss World (Africa), is also a published author of children’s books, a businesswoman and social entrepreneur. Here she speaks with PURNIMA RAMAKRISHNAN as part of the GLOW Webinar series, on her roots, being crowned Miss World (Africa), her work with children and youth, and the role of the heart.</h4><hr>Q: In 2017, Africa’s Youth Awards named you one of the 100 Most Influential Africans. You are a business graduate from the University of Dar es Salaam and the managing director of Bongo5 Media Group Ltd, which focuses on digital media creation. You are the founder and the executive director of The Neghesti Sumari Foundation and the Jenga Hub that runs programs to teach kids from marginalized backgrounds how to do software coding. You are interested in improving the state of your community by working towards digital literacy for all. And your foundation has transformed learning outcomes for youth and little children through its digital literacy programs and applying design making methodology to create value. Welcome Nancy.NS: Thank you so much for having me, this is a great honor.Q: Likewise. Tell us a little bit about yourself.NS: I’m the third-born of five children. One of my parents is a farmer and the other runs her own hotel business, she’s into catering. I had a very interesting childhood, I grew up on a farm and as you can imagine it was full of adventure, mischief, joy and love. My parents were very keen for us to get a good education, and to also grow up in a close-knit loving family. I have very fond memories of my childhood.Beyond that, I went to school in Kenya, graduated from high school and came back to Tanzania, and did my bachelor’s degree here in Business. I hope to still continue with my studies at some point, soon hopefully. I’m married with a daughter who’s wonderful. I feel like I’ve had an interesting journey so far, and I’m very thankful for that. But I often reflect and feel that it’s almost like an out-of-body experience where I couldn’t imagine having the love that I have right now and the work that I’m doing, the opportunity to meet people. To offer what I have been given throughout my life is something I’m very thankful for.Q: Thank you. What was it like going from a beauty queen to a philanthropist working for the education of children? Can you tell us a little bit about that journey?NS:&nbsp;I think the journey through the beauty pageant was almost by chance. It was an opportunity that just happened to me. I suppose it was meant to be part of my journey, but it was a very big surprise, because I had just finished high school and I was hoping to pursue my university education at that point in time. By chance, at a local restaurant here in Dar es Salaam, I met a young lady who felt that I should be part of the competition, that it was a great opportunity. It felt like it was an opportunity, and when an opportunity comes knocking, I’ve always been one to make the most of it, so I did.But beyond the beauty pageant, which was great and left a big mark on my life, I’ve always felt that it was my purpose to give back as much as I have been given. There have been many opportunities where people held my hand, where people helped me. A lot of people were there for me through my journey, to help me to be the best that I could be. They saw the potential in me. So giving back through the work that I do comes naturally – the same way people have been there for me, I feel I should be there for others, and be there meaningfully. That’s why our work in providing and widening the education emphasis in Tanzania is very important; education will unlock the potential in young people, so that’s what I want to work very hard at.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Mediocrity2_d77aabee2f.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-05T03:34:02.173Z">Q: Can you tell us a little bit about the initiative of transforming children, and of transforming the ways of education in Tanzania?NS: The education system in Tanzania has a lot of challenges, everything from an outdated curriculum to not having well enough trained teachers, to the overall infrastructure. So, we thought to do something meaningful and long-term, but also to be more future-ready, and so we started programs that will empower and equip children with the skills and knowledge necessary in an ever transforming technological world. And so, our programs are focused primarily on giving children these very important skills, as we continue to work towards the fourth industrial revolution. Thus, although they go to school with a curriculum that is outdated, they are able to gain skills through our hub and its program to allow them to be a lot more competitive. They are able to take advantage of the opportunities in the technological industry and sector, and then come up with ideas of value to serve their communities.<hr><h5 style="text-align:center;">It’s about character building, it’s about building self, about training children through values, like being respectful, honorable, loving, caring, being of service, and knowing who they are and reflecting that to the world.</h5><hr>Q: How have you been able to make this difference for children? What do you think is the key factor which can help them in decision-making and wisdom?NS: I think we try to have a more holistic approach. It’s not just about technology, because that’s not enough. It’s also about character building, it’s about building self, about training children through values like being respectful, honorable, loving, caring, being of service, and knowing who they are and reflecting that to the world. I think what sets us apart is the fact that we pay extra attention to character building, and I feel that is quite important in today’s world to be able to build self, and acknowledge self, and another person. We have a saying here – it’s from South Africa but it’s also applied here a lot, and it is the spirit of Ubuntu. It speaks of the fact that you are able to see yourself in someone else or, rather, you able to see someone and empathize and acknowledge them, their self and their spirit, and just be equal in that sense. I think we’re moving more than ever into machines and artificial intelligence and robots, but it’s really important to focus back on ourselves. This is especially so with children and young people who will be the force in the next generation. I think it’s very important to instill these values in them.Q: What do you think is the role of the heart in transforming a child’s growing process, in transforming the learning or educational initiatives?NS: To be honest, everything starts from the heart, everything emanates from the heart and the soul. I think the heart plays a central key role in learning overall, in seeing our place in the world and what our world means. I think the heart is a window and a reflection of the world, and what the world is to us and what we are putting out into the world. A lot of the time, people are not able to be intentional enough when it comes to matters of the heart and learning, or feeding the heart. It plays a central and crucial role in learning, and definitely requires us to break down those walls and be able to approach learning and each other more from the heart. I think that would change the world, to be honest.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Mediocrity3_730fae2733.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-05T03:34:58.781Z">Q: How do you think children can be encouraged to use their heart as often as possible; how can we help them to learn this art of using the heart?NS: I think we can definitely practice a lot more. Children look at the older generation as a mirror, like an oracle, and the more they see us applying this, constantly and consistently, that is one way to do it. It’s like parenting – when a child is growing up, the first people they look up to are the immediate family surrounding them. These types of habits begin in the home, so I feel that is the game-changer right there – the importance of the role of the heart in the home, in the family. Then we move beyond that to schools, to education institutions on all levels, and to governments, to how we lead our people. I feel it will be a multiplying butterfly effect. But it really does begin in the home. That is the most powerful place where values are instilled, where behavior is taught, and where love is shared.Then it multiplies to all other areas of our lives, but it begins at home. We can all have a role to play when it comes to leading with the heart, teaching from the heart, and learning and feeding our heart when we are around our children and our young people. Then it will take hold. For now perhaps it can start in all corners where people who believe in it can start small and then multiply and take the effect within our circle of empathy.Q: When we look at our society today, we are becoming more and more dispersed. Single parenting is on the rise, parents are not together in many families, and even when they are together they have very little time with their children because both are working. Even the role of grandparents is becoming less these days. We no longer have families with uncles and aunties around, the joint family has broken down or vanished completely, and we are moving towards the nuclear family and single parenting. Such is our age. When we speak about the family, the home being the center, where the role of the heart is nurtured, children spend more time in day care, in school where other people are primary care givers. So, how can teachers or the school impart this, when it cannot happen at home?NS: I feel that we can utilize a lot of these platforms that young people access. Reaching out to teachers is very important, like you mentioned, because a teacher can use the first or the last five minutes of class to simply share whatever is going on in the heart, or hear from other people’s hearts. We are able to reach out to a lot of religious institutions as well, for instance, here we have a lot of families going to the mosque, to church, and to the temple. They all preach about the heart but perhaps to break down the silos and have a more relatable approach is also important. It can be styled in a manner which young people find a lot more relevant. It needs to be dynamic, it needs to be true to our time, and it needs to be reflective. It could be available on a platform that young people access, like Instagram or Facebook, or these social platforms that have a lot of traffic of young people. It can be packaged in a way that they will find interesting and then, before you know it, it’s cool, and it’s being applied, and it sticks, and it goes on and on from there.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Mediocrity5_e7706aadca.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-05T03:37:11.078Z">Q: How can this role of the heart help in breaking free from mediocrity to greatness?NS: I would say it starts with our own self. I think mediocrity stems from the fact that we are not able to believe in ourselves, be ourselves, and take advantage of our own purpose, our own journey. The role of the heart plays a central role for staying true to our self, staying true to our purpose, and following our calling. That ultimately takes us then from mediocrity and elevates us all the way into greatness, because there is nothing greater than being able to walk our own path, heed our own calling and be the highest, truest expression of ourselves, of who we are meant to be in this world. I think being mediocre is turning away from that, turning away from the journey and applying something that does not necessarily fit you. I feel that the only way is to switch back from that entirely and take heed of one’s heart.Q: Thank you Nancy for joining us and for your inspiring story.NS: Thank you.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Interviewed by PURNIMA RAMAKRISHNAN</h4><hr>

From mediocrity to greatness

Naomi is the author of Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves, and one of the leading parenting guides in the world today. She has been featured in the media internationally, and guides parents but about how to have peace without control so that children do their best, not because they fear us or seek our approval but because they want to. Her SALVE communication formula has been praised as providing the best of the work of Byron Katie and Nonviolent Communication combined and more.

Naomi-Aldort.jpg

Naomi Aldort

<h4>NAOMI ALDORT is the author of Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves, published in nineteen different languages. She guides parents via phone, Skype and workshops internationally, bringing peace and clarity to both difficult situations and everyday family issues, including marriage, pregnancy, birth, diet and lifestyle, and child development for children of all ages. Her S.A.L.V.E. communication formula has been praised as providing the best of the work of Byron Katie and Nonviolent Communication combined. In this exclusive interview with LAKSHMI ARAVIND, Naomi shares her wisdom on how we can raise emotionally resilient, well-adjusted, authentic children.</h4><hr>Q: All kids encounter stress in their lives to varying degrees, and despite our best efforts as parents we can’t always protect them. Kids get sick, they have to move schools and environments, deal with bullies, cyber bullies, exams and tests. They may face family breakups and grief due to loss. On top of all this, we also live in a fast-paced world, where we want quick solutions to problems. But this is the time to pause and think of how we can do the best for our children.Naomi, welcome and how are you today?NA: I’m doing well, thank you, and I’m delighted to be here with you.Q: Awesome, so let’s get started. The first question is: What are the basic tenets of your philosophy for raising children, and why emotionally resilient?NA: Where I depart from the mainstream way of parenting is that I am not into shaping children and making them. I hold children as creation (if you’re religious that means God, otherwise Nature) and they are perfect creations just as they are. So my whole approach is about allowing children to be rooted in themselves rather than in what we want for them. Parents want children to learn this, to be there, to sleep in their own room; all this “wanting” for our children. We cannot chew food for another person, we cannot breathe for another person, and likewise we cannot want for another person. A baby is a time bomb. It’s a grown-up in a small body with its potential not yet unfolded. We need to know the limitations, but we need to respect them like we respect God. This is not our making.So that’s the main difference in my philosophy. It’s not permissiveness, it’s not license. We still need to guide and be leaders, but we need to be leaders who enable children to unfold who they already are.I always use the analogy of watering a flower so it will bloom – not so that it blooms your way, your color, or to your timing. It’s already in the design. They’re going to walk at a certain time, they’re going to talk at a certain time, they’re going to sleep by themselves at a certain time, they’re going to read at a certain time – anytime between age four and thirteen or fourteen. It makes no difference later on. Whether children learn to walk at one or two, we all learned to walk at different times and talk at different times. Einstein didn’t talk until he was four. What difference does it make once we’re unfolding ourselves into adults? And in terms of resilience, again, with the utmost reverence and spiritual recognition of who a baby, a child, a human being is, they are born resilient.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/emotionally_resilient_children2_dc11a5b2ce.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T04:10:19.456Z" alt="how-to-raise-emotionally-resilient-children-part-1"><hr>Our job is not to ruin that. And unfortunately, we ruin it a lot. We get in the way, and then, when it’s ruined and things aren’t going well, we ask, “Gee, what do we do? Our child is doing this.” And then we are convinced that we have to shape them because we unshaped them to a point where it’s not working. My teaching is about nurturing who is already there, not shaping them; watering the flowers, not painting the color of the petals or telling them when to come out.Let me say a little bit about how we do harm. What do we do? Well, we’re taking the inner power of the child and we’re destroying it in many ways. We give messages to children that their inner voices are somehow wrong. They have to do what we say, not what they say to themselves. It starts in babyhood – that’s why I always say that everything I teach is from babyhood to adulthood, because it’s the same principle.So many parents ask me, “How do I get my child to move out of the family bed?” – if they even sleep with the child. And I say, “Well, if you have to trick them and make them go to their own bed, then they’re not ready.” You’re teaching them not to listen to their own voice.Then they tell me, “Well, to be independent, don’t they need to sleep by themselves and soothe themselves?”&nbsp; I say, “No. You’re not sleeping right yourself. You’re not soothing yourself. You go for therapy if you’re really upset, or to your friends. Why should a baby, who is scared to death for survival, or a young child, sleep by themselves? And when you give them the message, ‘You should sleep by yourself,’ even though they feel inside, ‘I want to sleep next to mommy and daddy,’ then you’re telling them, ‘Don’t listen to yourself.’ And that kills self-confidence, that kills the self, because we constantly tell them how they feel inside is wrong.”<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/emotionally_resilient_children3_693ac37925.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T04:03:42.039Z" alt="how-to-raise-emotionally-resilient-children-part-1"><hr><hr><h5>In terms of resilience, again,&nbsp; with the utmost reverence&nbsp; and spiritual recognition of who a baby, a child,&nbsp; a human being is, they are born resilient.</h5><hr><hr>And another way we kill resilience is by distracting babies and young children from suffering. It is almost contradictory. On one hand, we tell them that they shouldn’t suffer. On the other hand, we cause the suffering when we put them to sleep somewhere else and tell them, “Hey, put up with it!” That stresses them because it is a primal need. Then, when they have suffering that is not a primal need – they don’t get their candy, their friend isn’t playing with them anymore, later on their girlfriend/boyfriend leaves them – then we try to distract them. We start with babies; when a baby cries, we say, “Look here, look there!” or “Here, play with this!” and we tell them, “Hey, you know you can handle suffering, you can handle pain.”I teach the opposite. Meet your baby’s needs, be kind with your teenager, and with all ages, but sometimes life offers challenges. Sometimes there is suffering. Grandma does die. Uncle cancels his visit. Toys break. Friends won’t always play with them. So, I always tell parents that instead of fixing everything – which tells children that they can’t handle it, and that weakens them – let them know that it’s all right. Validate their feeling.Let’s say a child comes out of a room full of children and says, “They won’t play with me. They told me to leave,” most parents say, “Oh no! Let’s go in and I’ll fix it for you.” The parent talks to the other children: “What happened? Please be inclusive,” and what is the child learning? “I’m weak and dependent, and I need the adult to come and rescue me so that I get what I want.”<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/emotionally_resilient_children4_54b9a2f56d.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T04:04:53.213Z" alt="how-to-raise-emotionally-resilient-children-part-1"><hr>Now the response I advocate, when the child comes out of the room saying, “They won’t play with me. They told me to leave,” is, “Oh, you want to talk about how that’s feeling?” Maybe they’re crying. After they express their feelings (and sometimes they don’t express much because they look for “What am I supposed to feel?” from the parent), I would just say, “Okay, what would you like to do instead?Would you like to help me in the kitchen? I’m making lunch,” or “Would you like to sit here? I have some nice books and puzzles here.”If it’s not my own child, but a guest, I would say, “Would you like me to call your mom to pick you up?” I’m letting the child know that they can handle the fact that the others are not playing with them. I don’t ask, “What did you do that they’re not playing with you?” That’s blame and shame. Definitely not a good idea.I don’t make it seem like it’s a big problem, but if it is a problem for them, I listen. “Tell me, I see you wanted to play so badly, so do you want to tell me how you feel about it?” I listen to them. Then, the next step is, “I understand how you feel. What would you like to do instead?”<hr><hr><h5>I always tell parents that instead&nbsp; of fixing everything – which tells children&nbsp; that they can’t handle it,&nbsp; and that weakens them – let them&nbsp; know that it’s all right.&nbsp; Validate their feeling.</h5><hr><hr>We often teach them to want things, and we teach them to always get what they want. Then they can’t handle not getting what they want. We say, “No, don’t call him stupid! It will hurt his feelings.” We’re teaching them to be weak and to be hurt. When I see a child calling another child “stupid,” I say, “Me too!” and I give an example of how I’m stupid. Then they learn to accept.It’s like the Zen story, “Without Blinking an Eye.” I’ll tell the short version. It’s about the General of an army in Japan that is going from village to village killing everyone. Most people run away and escape. He comes to one village, and he’s told by his soldiers that the Zen master at the top of the hill in the monastery hasn’t escaped. The general is enraged: “How come? Doesn’t he know who I am?”So he goes up to the monastery, looks at the little old man and says, “How dare you! Don’t you know who I am? I could run you through with my sword without blinking an eye!”And the little Zen master says, “ And do you know who I am? Someone who can have your sword go through me without blinking an eye.”Can we raise children to hear bad words – the sword, the criticism – with gratitude? When somebody criticizes them and calls them names, can they say, “Tell me more”? There is nothing we don’t have. We may be generous, but we’ve been greedy. We may smell good, but we’ve been stinky. We may be peaceful, but we’ve been angry at some time. It’s like, “Tell me more. I’m learning. Everyone is a teacher for me.”We are teaching to “wants” and teaching children to defend themselves and to think that they’re always good. We are teaching instant gratification. We are teaching by distraction – “Here, here, have some ice cream, it will help you forget about what happened with the other kid.” We are teaching children to run away from suffering. Also, we are praising, creating a need for children to seek approval all the time, rather than being themselves.We teach them to run away from the self, which creates insecurity and low self-esteem. And we run them toward success – everybody has to know so much. And we put them on the competitive mill to be successful, to have money, to have a profession, to be the best. And then they are afraid and develop anxiety, anxiety to please others, anxiety not to be oneself, to avoid what they really want and feel inside, and to do all this stuff that is expected of them. That’s very anxiety-provoking, because it’s easy to be oneself, but it’s very hard to read other people and please them.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/emotionally_resilient_children5_f7573245f1.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T04:06:17.530Z" alt="how-to-raise-emotionally-resilient-children-part-1"><hr>Q: I think we all need to hear that. I’m one of those parents who used to step in and fix it for them right away. And we don’t realize how hurtful it can be for our children in the long run. We’re really not teaching them to be resilient. As you say, we have already destroyed their resilience, and somehow we have to undo all that.We live in a world where there’s immediate gratification, and all the time we want to give the best to our children. We don’t want them to get hurt at all. In a world where there’s constant comfort and stimulation, what can we do about that?NA: To teach emotional resilience, we have to not unteach it, because they already have it. Look at babies, who behave like they’re the most deserving creatures on Earth. A little discomfort and they cry. They want to nurse and they tell you. You put them to sleep somewhere else, they scream. It’s very clear that they’re resilient, they can handle it, they can express feelings, and they can handle life and our mistakes, too.But to teach emotional resilience, we need to avoid teaching them to be triggered. Like what I said before, instead of teaching them that name calling is a bad thing, ask them to find how it’s true for them. Teach them not to be defensive. We teach them by modeling. If our spouse tells us, “Hey, you’re lazy,” or “You did this or that,” what is our automated reaction? “No, I’m not! No, that’s not what happened.” What I teach to create resilience is, “Yes, I am.”I actually teach healing games where members of the family get together and, through games, through play therapy, learn to accept when somebody criticizes them or calls them a name. We need to stop blaming others, making all this justice thing, which is part of why people are so emotionally weak. Take sibling rivalry, for example: “Mommy says I am wrong.” Don’t ever take sides. Just listen to each one and help them find the solution simply by listening to them. You don’t ever have to fix things. They solve it themselves. When you come into their room and they’re fighting, listen to each one of them until they’re done. Let each one tell their side, and when the other interrupts and says, “No, that’s not what happened,” I say, “Wait till she’s done, and then you’ll tell what happened to you.” I don’t ever take sides.<hr><hr><h5>To teach emotional resilience,&nbsp; we need to avoid teaching them to be triggered.&nbsp; Like what I said before, instead of teaching them&nbsp; that name calling is a bad thing,&nbsp; ask them to find how it’s true for them.&nbsp; Teach them not to be defensive.&nbsp; We teach them by modeling.</h5><hr><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/emotionally_resilient_children6_b52e559292.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T04:08:53.014Z" alt="how-to-raise-emotionally-resilient-children-part-1"><hr>Another way to help children to be strong is to let them find their own solutions and express themselves. The first chapter in my book talks about self-expression. But the main thing is that we’re killing strength through the constant need for approval, by expecting children to live based on external rewards, praise and grades. In order to enable inner peace, children need to be rooted in themselves, responsible for creating their own inner joy, no matter what another person is saying about them. That’s true power.<hr>To be continued.<hr><hr><h4>Interviewed by LAKSHMI ARAVIND</h4><hr>

Home› Contributors