Becoming better communicators

YES, YOU CAN DO IT!

DAAJI shares some tips on how to improve your communication skills, to bring harmony and compassion to daily interactions with others in the workplace, in the family, and everyone you meet.

Dear friends,

I receive a lot of questions about communication: How to speak well? How to avoid conflicts, especially with loved ones? And how to become better communicators in the workplace?

So far in this column, we have talked about ways to improve overall well-being through various simple exercises, such as using Heartfulness Meditation to raise our level of consciousness, Heartfulness Cleaning to rid ourselves of inner complexities and impurities, and Heartfulness Prayer to dissolve our individual identity. We have focused on when we do these spiritual practices and how they can help us every day.

But what about the many waking hours each day we are communicating with other people? Our character is communicated in every little interaction. The quality of our communication affects the quality of our lives in so many ways.

How can we make our way of communicating a way of becoming better human beings? Here are a few tips to become more effective and gracious communicators.

Intend to Connect

Connection means to be open, and stay in touch with what matters to others—and to yourself—in every moment.

Aim for a respectful and compassionate quality of connection, so that everyone can express themselves, be heard, and understood. Trust that the connection is more important and more nourishing than being right or having your say.

When another person feels you understand them, they are more likely to be open to understanding you. Willingness to understand involves generosity, respect, self-control, compassion and patience. Be “curious instead of furious” about how others are different from you.

Give others the freedom to act and watch them blossom.

Listen more than speak

We have two ears and one mouth—a reminder of what is important!

Listening is key. Often, we are only half listening, waiting for our chance to speak, wanting to make our point. When our attention is with our own thoughts, we are not listening.

Listening means to enter into the world of the other person, to intend to understand them, even if we disagree with what they are saying.

Be aware of how you are reacting to what the other person is saying. Are you attentive, neutral, open, in listening mode, or are you already reacting inside? The other person will feel what is going on inside you at the subconscious level.

Listen well. What do you learn from others with active listening?

Connection, understanding and harmony

Everything within you is expressed through your body, your facial expressions, the tone of your voice, and the vibrations that emanate from you. All these are picked up by others. Are your words in harmony with these elements? To have connection, understanding and harmony in your relationships, you need to nourish those aspects deeply within yourself.

First comes self-compassion. The more we feel compassion for ourselves, the more we feel it for others. People who are high in self-compassion are wise and emotionally resilient.

Empathy is all about feeling, resonating, and responding to needs. Both the needs of others and your own needs.

Ask yourself, “If I were in their situation, what would I want?” The natural capacity of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is a helpful reminder when we find ourselves in a state of self-centeredness, of desire, and ego.

The more joyful you are, the lighter and more inspiring your conversations and communications will be.

The more we feel compassion for
ourselves, the more we feel it for others.
People who are high in self-compassion
are wise and emotionally resilient.

I hope these few tips, along with the practices of Heartfulness will bring more awareness, confidence, and joyfulness to your day-to-day connections with others.

Wishing you all the best,
Daaji

For further information on Heartful Communication go to: 
https://learning.heartfulness.org/courses/hc-english