A long-distance relationship reminds me of my meditation practice.
In the beginning, my partner and I would communicate with each other during random hours. But on some days, we felt frustrated and distracted because of different schedules and the huge difference in time zones. What then worked was finding a suitable hour in our schedule where we could meaningfully connect.
I related this to my initial days of meditation practice. When I meditated randomly anytime during the day, I found myself swimming against the tide. Over time, I started to realise the benefits of meditating at a fixed time. I could then carry the condition I received for the entire day.
This hour of connection, whether it was with my heart or my partner, was no less than magic. It was the two of us in that moment. For the other moments, there was constant remembrance.
I allowed myself to be flexible. Postponing a call did not mean we didn’t connect at all that day. It was a lovely reminder to me for whenever I overslept and missed my morning meditation, that did not mean I couldn’t meditate anytime later! I also noticed how I started to feel restless when the hour to connect came closer.
What followed in this hour of connection were all sorts of different experiences – be it my meditation practice or spending time with my partner –
Type 1: It is a fulfilling experience with not a single dull moment. I am deeply absorbed, and I don’t even notice an hour has passed by!
Type 2: I start slowly, and steadily, where I struggle to connect in the first few minutes. But then, there is a moment of surrender and the connection happens naturally. I feel lighter and finally, some momentum.
Type 3: Nothing. Just frustrating small talk. Small thoughts. Uninvited. But I want to stick through it! After all, this is important to me, even if it feels like I’ve achieved nothing. At the end of it, I still feel restless but keep hope that perhaps tomorrow, will bring a new experience.
Type 4: Whenever there is lack of time, I want to pack up everything in that short period! And at the end of it, I keep wondering, did I even connect?
Type 5: I take help. I find new ways to keep the connection exciting. To keep it growing.
On some days, there is a constant chatter in the mind – What is the point of this? Is this all a dream? Am I the only one feeling this? Do others feel this too? Am I doing it right? Is there a right way?
To ease this, I go back to my feeling. What did the connection feel like? Just going back to the feeling, my heart does some crazy summersaults. And it is in that state of feeling, I find moments of Reality.
Some days, it feels like a chore. I reason with myself – I can connect some other time. This isn’t going anywhere. I have plenty of time, a lifetime to connect. I have other important things to do, to achieve. I am busy. I have time constraints. But it is in these moments that I tend to forget, that there is someone on the other side patiently and lovingly waiting for me to connect. The intention of connection matters.
I relate to this quote of Chariji, one of the spiritual guides of Heartfulness –
“Each meditation is a love story.”
The distance increases the fondness of the heart. For it is in the pain of distance that you strive to come close. We strive to come together. We strive to become one. We become Love.