I feel like I’ve been waiting for this my whole life. I spent the first quarter century of my life a bit frustrated why the deep truths I felt seemed so hard to reconcile to my daily experience – and completely baffled why my peers weren’t ecstatically enthusiastic about learning spiritually. I grew up in a spiritual family and explored a number of paths, but there was always something else, something lingering inside I couldn’t satisfy.
When I started meditating on the heart, I didn’t fully understand the immense wealth at my fingertips. But something kept me going, something bigger than myself. I wish I had started keeping a diary that first day, like I do now every day after I meditate, since I see over the past few years how much I’ve changed inside.
My best friend since childhood witnessed it the most. She’s been with me through all the confusion of adolescence, the vacillations of coming into my own as an adult. We were talking one day, almost three years into my practice. “Em, you’re more bright and glowing each year. You’ve had immense growth. Since you started meditating, I feel like I can be one hundred percent myself with you. You just glow love.” I was floored. I knew I had cleared a lot of emotion and sensitivity, found a better balance in my life and a better connection to my intuition, but her words really touched me. I was able to accept what she reflected, because I saw the same in so many of the bright souls around me who were guiding me into further depths.
I’ve finally found that practical key. I’ve finally connected to the Source of Love in a consistent, satisfying way. Everything else prepared me to be ready for it, and here it is. There are benefits I could enumerate, but the bottom line is that Heartfulness connects me to the wonder of life I’ve always known, and finally have access to.
A lot of people feel amazed that I meditate every morning. They imagine it’s some huge sacrifice of my time and a serious discipline. I wouldn’t have considered myself a particularly disciplined person. It was a matter of my heart knowing what it needed. It took me some time to get it regular, and I’m learning new depths of the practice all the time. But it’s become like food – it nourishes me so well it perpetuates itself.
The best part is? Heartfulness is a never-ending adventure. My friend who also meditates reflected to me about his life and the practice, “This is like the most exciting story I’ve ever heard of. It’s like better than Harry Potter.” I had to laugh because I feel exactly the same way. There’s this kind of amazing magic that happens where the ‘miracles’ aren’t these huge science-defying displays. But it’s the consistent synchronicities that help me see there’s more than just me. There’s something bigger that I’m connecting to inside that is showing me over and over that my life is reflecting that connection. I’m not surprised anymore when it happens, but I’m always delighted. It’s the best game of peek-a-boo I am happy to wake up every day and play.
-Emma Hawley, Santa Clara, California
