LAKSHMI ARAVIND ponders over ways to remove the negative habit of complaining, and comes up with a good solution.
I would like to share something beautiful I learnt from my teacher. The teaching was not by words, but was perceived through the eyes of the heart and in the silence of the mind.
About a year ago, a few of us were organising a meditation seminar, which he graciously attended. All through his stay with us I observed that he journeyed with the flow of life with such lightness, a remarkable poise and no expectations. There was an immense feeling of warmth, love, gratitude and such joy in the air. These vibrations were so strong that they expanded and enveloped everyone there.
After the seminar ended, I got home with the feeling of lightness and happiness in my heart. As days went by I was caught up with life’s challenges, and the many ups and downs and demands on my time that I was trying to meet. I started complaining and soon lost that inner happiness and lightness. It was not the first time it had happened; it felt terrible when it did. I wondered why I could not extend that inner peace in my day-to-day life for a longer period. Pondering over that lead me to this particular observation.
The attitude of complaining
is very negative in nature to ourselves
and the others concerned.
There can be no constructive solution arising from it.
The one thing in my teacher that touched me deeply was the fact that he never once complained about anything. To start with it was only an observation, but when I pondered over it, it grew to be a profound and life changing insight for me. Here you go …
One way or the other, we all have expectations in our lives. For some of us it is finding inner happiness, for others maybe a perfect career, a beautiful house etc. The truth is, we have endless expectations of life, of our spouses, children, work, home, cars, etc., and when things don’t go right, we don’t let go. No kidding, we simply complain, complain, complain! It becomes such a habit that we don’t notice it anymore. Every now and then we all need to vent our feelings. Most of us do with our near and dear ones and then we forget about it, which is a healthy thing for our body, mind and heart. But the attitude of complaining is very negative in nature to ourselves and the others concerned. There can be no constructive solution arising from it.
The more we complain, the more grumpy, angry and emotional we become, creating disturbance and hatred within and around us. This is a vicious cycle and when we are caught up, it can suck up all our energy and potential, leaving us with no resources. The only way we can change is to recognize it and be keen to do something about it.
The only way we can change is
to recognize it and be keen to do something about it.
Did you know that complaining is often the easiest thing to do? It is like giving excuses or simply procrastinating or not being willing to take responsibility to find a solution to the problem. We always have a choice: for some of us problems can be an opportunity, for others every opportunity is a problem. “You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.” Which kind are you? Have you ever given it a thought? One of the world’s leading management experts, Dr Ichak Adizes has said, “Treat problems as an opportunity to improve.” I sometimes remind myself of his words when faced with a problem in life, or find myself complaining or swamped with negative thoughts. This defuses the frustration, brings a positive outlook to the problem and helps to find solutions constructively. It also helps me if I believe the problem is there to better myself. Thinking that way gives me the courage to embrace the problem and become resilient in life.
Being mindful of my attitude
towards problems in life goes a long way
to maintaining the calmness and extends
the peaceful state and inner poise experienced
during meditation for longer periods.
Contemplating on this lately, I realized that being mindful of my attitude towards problems in life goes a long way to maintaining the calmness and extends the peaceful state and inner poise experienced during meditation for longer periods. It is slowly transforming my character and life, leading to an over all improved sense of well-being and an enjoyable life.
Article by LAKSHMI ARAVIND
