SANJANA AYYAGARI explores the paradox of memory—both cherishing memory and, sometimes, the need to forget. She has come to see them not as opposites but as interdependent processes, shaping our understanding of our own identity.
The paradox of memory is so pervasive in the human experience that even J.K. Rowling alludes to it in her famous work, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. In the film adaptation, Neville, one of Harry’s friends, receives a Remembrall from his grandmother. The smoke inside the marble-sized glass ball turns a scarlet red when he has forgotten something, to which Neville replies, “The only problem is, I can’t remember what I’ve forgotten.”
Memory is a vital tool for human processing and interpersonal interactions. It shapes our identity, helps in decision-making processes, and acts as an anchor as we live through time. Our ability to remember is essential for our survival, as it provides us with continuity and an understanding of the world we live in. In contrast, forgetting, while often perceived negatively, also plays a crucial role in our cognitive functioning and mental health. With the amount of data and information we are bombarded with daily, especially in the age of technology and social media, forgetting allows us to filter out irrelevant information and focus our cognitive processing on what matters. However, within the very process that helps us make sense of our lives, there is a paradox: how can we cherish the act of remembering while also acknowledging the need for forgetting?
In his book The Power of Paradox, Daaji proposes approaching paradoxes with the DARE to RESOLVE framework. DARE (Dismiss, Accept, Resolve, and Explore) represents four different ways to approach and make sense of paradoxes. The memory paradox seems to be best approached through exploration, so let’s delve deeper together.
The paradox of memory lies in the fact that remembering and forgetting are not opposites; They are interdependent processes that work together to shape our lives and how we interpret the world around us. Our memories are dynamic. As we live and gain new experiences, we build on our memories and the understandings and effects they have on us. The way we remember certain events—whether with nostalgia, regret, or joy—shapes our understanding of our identity and our sense of continuity across time.
As a graduating medical student, I have spent over a decade primarily focused on studying to remember information and apply it to patient care. Despite learning and reviewing information for hours every day, many times I found myself staring at an exam question, unable to remember the information I needed to select the right answer. Surprisingly, while I was struggling to recall the specific facts, I could remember that I had forgotten the information I needed.
This experience exemplifies the paradox of memory. Despite my efforts and the countless hours spent absorbing knowledge, forgetting was an inevitable part of the process. And yet, this phenomenon of forgetting was not without its own significance. The awareness that I could remember what I had forgotten prompted me to reflect on the limitations of memory and the inherent imperfection even in the most rigorous mental efforts. It served as a reminder that while memory is invaluable, it is ultimately fallible, and forgetting is an essential part of how we navigate the complexities of the mind.
It served as a reminder that while memory is invaluable,
it is ultimately fallible, and forgetting is an essential part
of how we navigate the complexities of the mind.
Sanjana Ayyagari
