MARY NG’ANG’A is a psychologist and Heartfulness practitioner from Kenya. She shares her ideas on the importance of being natural and authentic to finding happiness.
To me, happiness is when I am in a state of “let go.” When I am easy and mostly blissful. Happiness is not the same as contentment based on achievement, but it is the same as contentment perceived as acceptance of what is in the “now” moment. For instance, when working from home, I may spontaneously start dancing to music. I feel happy, totally happy at that moment. When I have many uncompleted tasks, some of which may be behind schedule, I don’t feel content with myself, but if I perceive this dance break to be the “now” moment and all that there is, then I am grateful for the chance to dance. I am contented with how life is happening at this moment.
Happiness is when I am in a state of “let go.”
When I am easy and mostly blissful.
There are different ways I experience happiness in my life, even though I don’t plan for them all. The most beautiful moments are spontaneous, totally unexpected. When I want to be happy, I dance or listen to music. I dance to move the energy within, not really to be great at technique. I also go outside to ground myself with my cats – I remove my socks and shoes and step onto the soil and grass with the cats. I really love it. The feeling of the sun on my skin, the endless skies, the trees … I love the trees and the greenery, the blue mountains. These days I wonder why I was not so outdoor-oriented before. I never want to go back inside. Life almost doesn’t allow me enough time out there. I purposely moved from an urban area to a less developed areas for this.
Meditation creates a foundation for my happiness. I’d call it bliss. It’s indescribable. I am so glad I know that. It’s the first most essential thing I do every morning, besides taking water. It positions me differently. It gives me the chance to be myself throughout the day; not the ego-self that creates or responds to problems in a complex manner, but the me that is core to who we all are. Hence, I feel lighter throughout the day, in remembrance of who I really am.
During the pandemic, I’ve had a lot of alone time to witness the patterns within me that obscure happiness. I’ve also had the chance to see how I like to be happy on my own. I’d say the pandemic has enabled me to understand my experience of happiness and allowed me room to transform my perspective of what happiness is. Since it has allowed me more time working from home, it has given me room to research spirituality, which in turn has transformed my understanding of what obscures happiness in me. That has equipped me with insights on how I can provide more room for happiness in my life.
Fear overshadows my joy. The easiest way for me to recover is through dance. But the most effective way is to watch the anxiety within. One of the things I’ve learned is that fear comes from the ego, and the ego cannot stand watchfulness. So, I stop focusing on anything else, and just watch the anxiety in my body, the sensation, the agony of it. As I watch, it fluctuates, then dissipates and loses energy. It takes practice and a great deal of acceptance, but it works. It’s not the easiest way, it’s the most courageous way. And it’s worth it, because then I “burn” the fear instead of coating it with momentary happiness.
I think more freedom would make the world a better place – freedom to be who we really are. I say so because that is the foundation for self-awareness, and self-aware people can uncover the falsehood of the ego, creating longer periods of happiness and living life more blissfully. I think society should work toward making this possible. Changing education systems to favor authentic expression rather than accumulating external knowledge would be a good start for many. Parents can do the same, raising children in a way that fosters authentic self-discovery and provides room for expressing the same.
Finally, not to sound clichéd, meditation plays a great role toward authentic self-discovery, because meditation allows us room to be with ourselves, not the mind self, but the egoless self, the true self. Meditation gives us the experience of truth, fearlessness, and trust, allowing us to fearlessly create. Through creation we become authentic, which keeps us happy because happiness is our natural state.
Meditation gives us the experience of truth,
fearlessness, and trust,
allowing us
to fearlessly create.
Through creation we become
authentic,
which keeps us happy because
happiness is our natural
state.
