Aging gracefully

VICTOR KANNAN explores the process of aging, with a focus on aging gracefully. How can you be at peace with yourself as old age approaches? How can you develop maturity in behavior and focus on life’s best interests?

For a few months now I have been asking the question, “How to age gracefully?”

I turned 65 a few months back. I don’t feel it, and I don’t know how it feels to be 65, since I have never been 65 until now. It is a good milestone, as perhaps two-thirds of the time on Earth is completed. There is a lot to be grateful for.

The idea of aging gracefully is a great one. It is a very important threshold, especially in the 21st century. We say that 50 is the new 40, and so on, to improve the outlook on aging. It is true we are living longer and more actively. However, aging invariably calls for maturity in behavior and focus on life’s best interests.

Maturity is possible when we process our life’s experiences like fruit ripening slowly to its full sweetness. Introspection is a tool for developing awareness. It promotes alertness and it helps us to keep up with positive associations of ideas, people, books, and more. Not only do we associate with the positive regenerative moments in life but also actively avoid unnecessary, harmful, or hurtful circumstances. 

Friction is needed for movement. Lack of resistance is needed for expansion. In the Heartfulness way of meditation, as we progress we shift our consciousness over time from movement to expansion, through the continuous process of contemplation. The daily practices of meditation, observation, introspection, and visualization help us understand how to adjust our thoughts and actions so we can be in line with the expectations that arise rightfully as we age.

Would you accept a mango that looks ripe but is rotten inside? Can you imagine aging without maturity? Can you accept growing old without gracefulness? It is an insult to life itself. It is a colossal waste of time and effort. It is a misdirection of life and its blessings.

The need for gracefulness challenges us to balance growth opportunities with our ability to respond to them. We choose our physical environment and develop forethought. We become more diligent, agile, and resilient in our mental and emotional responses.

The need for gracefulness challenges
us to balance growth opportunities
with our ability to respond to them.
We choose our physical environment
and develop forethought. We become
more diligent, agile, and resilient in our
mental and emotional responses.

Have more time alone and with nature and grandchildren if possible. Associate with people without agenda. Listen and share with young people. Avoid the contact of peers who are focused on competition and comparison: some peer groups are riddled with jealousy and prejudice. Avoid being curious and most importantly transcend FOMO, the fear of missing out.

Good luck aging. Time moves inexorably. It is a beautiful thing. It signifies the movement of nature. Day comes and the sun is shining. Seasons change, we celebrate; flowers and fragrance fill our homes. Life cycles through and wisdom is accumulated. Humanity is better off because of it.

If we did not age and time stood still what would happen? I shudder to think. Look forward to aging more gracefully as time clicks on perfectly.

There are three principles I love to follow:
Love one who loves all.
Love all who are loved by the one. 
Love all and hurt none—including plants and animals.

Yes, we can take what plants and trees give us without hurting them. They happily give us seeds and fruits as they ripen. Similarly we hope to give our wisdom to the next generation to improve the lives of all.

Illustrations by ANANYA PATEL