CHRISTINE PRISLAND focuses on those small acts of kindness and cooperation that can bring happiness and meaning to every day. She challenges us to explore consideration as a prerequisite to kindness, and to look at our level of thoughtfulness and sensitivity in our daily interactions with others.
I bought a highly recommended book the other day called #KindnessMatters, and even before I opened the first page, I started thinking about kindness. It is a big topic these days, and rightly so, as we try to navigate a different way of living. Sometimes we grimly hold on to how we lived prior to March 2020; sometimes we embrace different ways and locations of working, and different ways of relating to our loved ones. Sometimes we try to understand others with opposing views on vaccination, isolation, complying with the governments’ attempts to lessen the impact of Covid. In these times, our lives have changed.
How does kindness fit into this new beginning, as it is often called? Is being considerate of others a cultural thing? And can we practice kindness if we don’t experience it in our lives and culture? I’ve traveled a lot, and encountered kindness everywhere, so I think it is individual. It comes from within, but how it manifests can be influenced by tradition and culture, upbringing and environment.
Consideration for others is at the base of being kind. Can we be kind without feelings of thoughtfulness and sensitivity? Or perhaps they go side by side. I don’t really know, and does it matter?
Either way, kindness may be more difficult to practice if we don’t have that sense of consideration. If we cannot see another’s point of view, or put ourselves in their shoes, or do not already have a practice of civility in our families and communities, can we truly be kind, or does it take work, imagination, and practice?
What are these small civilities? It may manifest as opening doors for people, helping others with heavy loads, smiling as we meet strangers on a hiking trail or just on the street, and maybe even striking up a simple conversation about the weather, or the beauty around us. It’s about acknowledging the presence of others and helping in small ways, with no expectation of return. And it’s just because we are all human, and in our own way striving to become better human beings every day. It’s about reaching out.
For example, in the small city where I live, most passengers leaving the bus will thank the driver, even if they are getting off at the back of the bus. The first time I heard this, it touched my heart. Here are strangers making a connection and showing appreciation to the driver providing the service. To some it may seem odd, as it is the driver’s job after all. But it enlarges us in some fundamental way and breaks the isolation that we can sometimes put ourselves in.
Consideration is a small thing, but can make a huge difference in another’s life. A few years ago during a road trip, we stopped at a restaurant for lunch. There was a staff shortage and many travelers to be fed. The waitress was at her wits’ end. She told us how there was only the cook and herself, and she looked as if she couldn’t cope. She was so close to tears.
I acknowledged how she was feeling: “Oh my, you poor dear, what an awful stressful day you are having. We won’t add to it, and I hope it gets better for you.”
As I spoke, I could see her finding strength and beginning to smile. Her load was lighter because her feeling [extremely stressed] was respected. There was an acknowledgment that it really was awful.
She was able to say, “No, please don’t go, if you don’t mind waiting awhile.”
When we feel connected
within our own selves, we are able to
feel and see that we are all
human beings doing the best
we can on what we call the
rocky road of life.
It helps to grow up in a culture where consideration is valued, but it also helps to be sensitive and have an open heart. We can learn to think of others. When we feel connected within our own selves, we are able to feel and see that we are all human beings doing the best we can on what we call the rocky road of life. We learn to accept and grow through adversity and the difficulties life brings to us, as well as to the joys and love we find in big and small things. We are all in this together.
Kindness does matter; among other things, it helps us all to grow and evolve to become our best selves.
Christine Prisland
