KARISHMA DESAI writes about her grandmother, and what we can learn from the elder generations.
When I count my blessings, I count my grandma twice. I am so lucky to have her around. Shantaben Dave is in her late 90s and resides happily with her loving family in Kolkata, India. Her spirits are indomitable.
When I was a child, and even now, when I meet my grandma I rush to express my love with my hugs, kisses, and cuddles. She looks at me in utter despair, thinking, “Why is such a display of love necessary?” She comes from a generation when love was not expressed in that way. I never understood this as a child. It was only later in life, when I started the Heartfulness practice, that I learned to appreciate the phrase, “That which is sacred need not be made profane.” To my grandma, her children and her dear ones are sacred, and her entire life is an expression of her love for us.
Despite never having attended school, she was our first teacher. She was not educated; it was her sheer eagerness to read spiritual texts that made her teach herself to read. She made sure that all her children completed their education, so they did not have to face the challenges she had faced in life.
She taught us important life learnings through folk tales, delivered in a very local dialect, which added to the whole experience. Even now, when my children and I visit her, we gather around her feet and attentively listen to her stories, which have simple lessons. Her devotional songs and stories of love for God kindled an inner search in me, which eventually led me to pursue the Heartfulness way at the age of 18. Her engaging folk tales always aroused feelings of love, appreciation, devotion, joy, service, care, compassion, honesty, courage, etc., all of which helped me greatly to shape my adult life.
Her teachings are not restricted to storytelling, but also exist in her resilient actions. She is a role model and displays all the qualities I aspire to have. Despite having lost several of her loved ones – including her spouse, children, and a grandchild – we have never seen her morose. Even in her late nineties, she tackles challenges easily and encourages everyone to keep moving on with a smile and be grateful for what they still have.
To my grandma, her
children and
her dear ones are sacred,
and her entire life is an expression
of her love for
us.
Her memory is very sharp. She can still sing songs without reading their lyrics. She can recall the events from when my mother was born (my mom is 75!). Her life possessions can be packed in a small handbag, and yet she is most generous in showering us with gifts when we visit her.
I can never forget a moving conversation I had with her a few years
back. We were concerned about a relative who was diagnosed with dementia
and could not even remember her name.
I expressed my concern to my
grandma: “What will happen if you develop dementia and forget us
all?”
At this open expression of concern, my grandma instantly and
lovingly reassured me that I need not be worried. She explained to me
that since this relative had no one to talk to, she forgot who she was,
“whereas I,” she proudly explained, “can never forget myself because you
all remind me of who I am.” She was happy to share that everyone around
her loves her. Even her many grandchildren around the globe call her
often and connect with her. “How can I ever forget myself when I have so
many loved ones reminding me of who I am.”
Her simple reassurance brought tears to my eyes as I thought about all those grandparents who do not have such deep connections as this.
I live oceans apart from my dear grandma, but I hold her tight in my heart. I send her love and continue to feel close to her. Most importantly, I call her every now and then to remind her of what she means to me.
We have all learned so
much
from their generation of wisdom,
love, courage, and generosity.
It is now the time, more
than ever,
to shower them with love and care,
and never
let them forget themselves.
I request the readers to join me in a positive intention for the happy, healthy, and joyful life of all the loving and selfless grandparents and elders of the world who have shaped our lives for the better. We have all learned so much from their generation of wisdom, love, courage, and generosity. It is now the time, more than ever, to shower them with love and care, and never let them forget themselves.
Illustrations by PRAMITI RAMCHANDRA
Karishma Desai
