HARPREET KALRA explores what is beyond judgement.
In mathematical calculus, the act of integration is done by reversing the act of differentiation. If we apply the same principle to ‘one world, one humanity’, then it is easier to integrate humanity by not differentiating. So, how can we avoid differentiating ourselves from others?
Isn’t judging someone the greatest act of differentiation? Judging instantly sets us apart from the other person. Ten minutes into a conversation with a new person and we are done with the person. Either consciously or unconsciously, we have labeled and objectified the person. But does judgement alone lead to differentiation, or do we do something more to set ourselves apart?
When we judge, our frame of reference is never absolute, it is comparative. “He is intelligent” is in comparison to myself or to someone else. The reason we judge others is to evaluate where we stand in comparison to the person we are judging. Then, based on our judgment, we act; rather we react. If we perceive ourselves to be superior we discard the other person. If we perceive ourselves to be inferior we try to impress the other person. On most occasions this is how we act. At the heart of judging lies our latent desire to establish a sense of superiority over others.
The reason we judge others
is to evaluate where we stand
in comparison to the person
we are judging.
So the question is: ‘Why would we stop judging?’ After all, isn’t the perception of being superior a reality in our minds? It gives our ego a boost, and even more, a sense of survival. The ego loves to do it. So why would it behave in any other way? Perhaps if it could be convinced that there is no merit in judging, because this judgment-based differentiated reality in our head is all an illusion.
Someone who is good at soccer thinks he is superior to others until he has to play with Lionel Messi! Someone who has a flourishing business thinks he is superior to others because of the wealth he has amassed until he compares himself with Bill Gates.
In any comparison and external benchmark, be it wealth, beauty, intelligence or wit, we will probably fall short compared to someone, but often we choose to look only at those who are not as good as us. We are happy being a big frog in a small pond, and herein lies a great danger.
When we fall short in comparison with someone else, automatically, without any effort on our part, we feel inferior. We become either aggressive or defensive, either oppressive or a victim, either sad or happy. And this gives rise to perhaps the greatest bane of our life – the dual nature of our mind.
We can only achieve human integration
if each one of us feels oneness with others.
How will we feel this oneness
if we are still stuck in prejudice and duality?
With time and repeat exposure, our tendency to judge strengthens and solidifies. Like a wound up coil or a keyed toy, the mind goes into an auto mode of judging, and starts operating on its own. Lo! We are stuck in duality. On so many occasions, we judge without wanting to judge. It is beyond our control.
So what is the harm in living in duality?
The harm is that duality is divorced from reality, and only reality can perceive reality. We can only achieve human integration if each one of us feels oneness with others. How will we feel this oneness if we are still stuck in prejudice and duality?
Fundamentally, we all are from the same source, and hence all the same. Even in our outer problems and aspirations we are the same – behavior of our spouse, children’s future, health, attitude of the boss at work, business expansion, investment returns, spiritual pursuits etc. Our desire for a comfortable and happy life is generally the fulcrum of everything about our lives.
All judgements are rooted in past experience
– either our own experience or that of others,
from which we learn.
So if we want to move towards human integration, what do we need to do? Stop judging! In fact, doesn’t change in any sphere of our life only involve the washing away of just one or two dominant tendencies of the mind?
How do we do that? By fully directing the mind into something that is not conditioned by time. After all, all judgements are rooted in past experience – either our own experience or that of others, from which we learn.
It is the heart that is the most qualified candidate for our attention. If we are true connoisseurs of beauty, only the heart is worth looking at. Connected to the Ultimate Being, the magnificence of its splendor shines through in whatever form it takes – a loving heart, a joyful heart, a courageous heart, a soft heart or an angry heart. Everything about it is real. Even if it is a jealous heart, the jealousy is real; there is nothing false about it. No hypocrisy. The heart is always right.
Article by HARPREET KALRA
Harpreet Kalra
