ANNIKA SHARMA is the co-host of the
podcast, The Woke Desi, and author of the upcoming book,
Love, Chai, and Other Four-Letter Words, about following your
heart, life influencing art, pokes and stretches caused by the coronavirus
pandemic, and the things we can be doing to fill our cups. Here she is
interviewed by MAMATA VENKAT.
Q: We have had so many conversations over the years about being true to
ourselves. I learn from you what it means to really live from the
heart.
What was the point in your journey where you realized you were living how
you thought you should be living, instead of living how you wanted to be
living?
AS: The day I got my agent was
one. Subsequently, getting a book deal was another. These were pivotal in
the journey of recognizing that I have a tendency to build my life according
to what society tells me is acceptable, rather than building it according to
what strengths God gave me. Until then, I was forcing myself into convenient
boxes that no one was pressuring me toward except myself. My parents have
always told me I should go into communications of some sort. But I kept
seeing people who I thought were successful go into other more traditional
paths and it was all I knew. I followed.
But certain common threads always weave themselves through our stories –
for me, connection, words, having a voice, creativity, whimsy, and telling
stories, were the center of every success I had had. Even on the paths that
ended up not being right for me, the common thread was there. For example, I
survived nursing school for exactly one semester, during which my greatest
success (earning a $10K scholarship) came from writing an essay. I chose to
ignore the very large, very colorful, billboard-sized signs that I was meant
to connect with people with my voice.
Once I wrote my book the doors began opening, and I found that working hard
didn’t feel like work at all. The fact that I was the first in my circles to
take this path became empowering rather than fearful. I felt so centered,
purposeful, and the inner voice was nothing short of divine-like whispering,
“You’re exactly right on this path.” The successes afterward only affirmed
that. And after knowing what conviction right to my bones felt like, I
couldn’t imagine going back to a life where I didn’t have it.
Certain common threads always weave themselves
through our stories – for me, connection, words,
having a voice, creativity, whimsy,
and telling stories, were the center of every success I had had.
There is a quote about our greatest fear not being that we are inadequate
but that we are powerful. I think about it all the time. We have power that
is granted only to us, and the paths we live can be a testament to that
gift. Otherwise, what are we doing? Are we honoring our God-given gifts? So
many of us never lean into them out of fear. Since the book deal, it’s been
a chase for the next conquest that I feel pulled to.
This is a more spiritual answer than I think you were shooting for, but
it’s the truth! Turning inward and looking to a greater power has allowed me
to hear and feel the plan meant for me, and the internal compass has guided
me toward it. With each success comes reaffirmation. The more connected I am
to the Divinity in me and in the world, the more authentically I live, the
more I see my greater purpose, and the more I chase those endeavors. It’s a
wonderful cycle of trust, faith, purpose, and authenticity.
The more connected I am
to the Divinity in me and in the world,
the more authentically I live,
the more I see my greater purpose,
and the more I chase those endeavors.
It’s a wonderful cycle of
trust, faith, purpose, and authenticity.
Q: Let’s talk about your passions for a second. What are the things you
are currently working on that are filling your cup?
AS: The last year has been a
brutal one in terms of loss, grief, exhaustion, and shaky stability. It’s
also given me time to reflect and to seek out my purpose, and to lay the
groundwork for the life I want to live going forward. Am I surviving or
thriving after this? The last year allowed me to lean into the things I love
most: connecting with people, discovering my voice, growing my podcast,
writing my books, and continuing to ground myself in healthier practices.
The gym has finally seen more of me than it ever has before! The points of
connection these things provide with the universe, with my loved ones, and
with myself, have been eye-opening in terms of where I want to go and what I
want to do.
I’ve also slowed down and become more intentional about my time. We were
moving at such a fast pace prior to the pandemic that I never took stock of
whether certain things felt right. I said yes all the time. Now I feel more
comfortable saying, “This isn’t working so maybe it’s time to let go,”
rather than feeling obligated to participate in something. My priorities
have shifted.
I’ve been consumed by writing manuscripts. My next book,
Love, Chai, and Other Four-Letter Words, comes out on October 5.
It’s a romcom story set against family drama, bucket lists, and city lights.
I’m now deep in the throes of writing the second book in the series and
working on a few others to rev up my career!
I like to think that as I grow
more confident, comfortable, and risk-friendly,
my characters grow bolder and less apologetic too.
My stories are told with more conviction
and are fuller because I myself
am experiencing that fullness and certainty.
Q: Do you find that that real life influences the characters you create
and the paths they take in your books?
AS: All the time. Whether it’s a
life experience I’ve had, like visiting every tourist place in New York, or
a feeling as devastating as heartbreak or as magical as a sparkly night with
friends under city lights, writing allows me to empathize and to put myself
in the shoes of the people I’ve created, who may be nothing like me. And
that translates to real life too. As I witness my characters come to life
and do things that perhaps I wouldn’t do, I learn to empathize with people
who make different decisions from mine, and that creates growth. I like to
think that as I grow more confident, comfortable, and risk-friendly, my
characters grow bolder and less apologetic too. My stories are told with
more conviction and are fuller because I myself am experiencing that
fullness and certainty.
Q: Your podcast, The Woke Desi, has seen incredible success over the last
year and a half. I think that you and your co-host, Nehal Tenany, have
beautifully created a community where both guests and listeners can come
to the table as themselves. How has this project aligned with your goals
for yourself?
AS: My brother Sridhar is our
producer. He told me something that makes me laugh and also drives me when I
work on the show: “You have one job as a podcast host: use your voice to
tell a story.” The audience can tell if we aren’t ourselves or if we aren’t
enthusiastic about a particular advertisement. We have no choice but to be
ourselves! The podcast has given us greater confidence in owning our unique
stories. It’s also given me a platform to create the connection I mentioned
before.
One of my greatest missions in life is to create interactions where no one
leaves feeling unhappy or alone. As we explore different stigmatized issues,
the podcast allows us to foster growth in those who haven’t experienced
certain difficulties, and to allow those who have experienced them to feel
seen and loved.
Q: Are there stories you’ve heard from your guests that have made you
pause, think, and reframe?
AS: All the time! One episode was
about Indo-Caribbean identity. Over 1.4 million Indians were taken,
sometimes against their will, and shipped to other parts of the world like
Fiji, Africa and the Caribbean, as indentured servants and slaves. The
descendants of those people carry traumas, in addition to the pressure of
preserving cultures to which their ancestors clung. Now, South Asians tend
to see them as outsiders. We have abandoned our own, and much of that is
entwined in casteism, socioeconomic status, colonization, and more.
I learn through networking,
observing, studying on my own,
and navigating my own instincts amongst it all.
I have to rely on myself constantly
to answer my own questions.
That takes a lot of self-awareness,
prayer, and growth.
Many of our women’s health issues also stick with me. It’s a sad reality
that our South Asian culture, while beautiful and ripe with tradition, often
doesn’t see people outside of our own families as equal, and women are
included in that. Discussing issues like sexuality, marriage pressure,
miscarriage, infertility and mental health, allows us to explore how much we
inadvertently put others in pain or silence them. I think those are the most
powerful episodes – the ones that make us feel like we can create a great
change within our own families and societies and encourage people rather
than demoralizing them and isolating them.
Q: Have there been professional, emotional, and literal bumps that you
have had to overcome on this journey of turning your passion into a
reality?
AS: The road to success is often a
lonely one, particularly if there aren’t many people in your circles who
have pursued similar paths. It can foster a lot of doubt when you don’t have
many people to turn to for guidance. It can be isolating. I often struggle
with the question, “What’s next?” because not many people close to me are
positioned to give me advice. I learn through networking, observing,
studying on my own, and navigating my own instincts amongst it all. I have
to rely on myself constantly to answer my own questions. That takes a lot of
self-awareness, prayer, and growth.
Another difficulty with being heart-led and passion-driven is that you
throw your soul into everything you do. So the things that don’t align –
friends who aren’t the same way, jobs that don’t fill your cup, day-to-day
tasks that seem boring – are frustrating to cope with. I would love to write
full-time but it typically takes five or more books to generate a steady
income stream. I am on book three. That means for the sake of my student
loans and financial stability, I have to also hold a full-time job. When
your purpose calls loudly that can feel limiting. It’s a very practical
roadblock and practicality can often be at odds with passion.
Q: What are the tools that you lean on — both internal and external —
that keep you anchored during those bumpy times?
AS: Externally, the biggest tools
I have are ones that fill me with joy and I’ve been keeping those a high
priority through the last year of instability. I try to exercise four to
five times a week. I have a therapist and I am a huge proponent of therapy
to handle the stress of my day-to-day in juggling multiple endeavors. I try
to take one night a week (at least!) to relax and watch a show or do
something fun with my husband. My family should count as a tool – my parents
are amazing sounding boards and my brother is a huge source of joy for
me.
I firmly believe that my prayer time is mine alone,
where my mind can have a breather and loosen its knots.
I meditate afterward to clear out any heaviness.
My faith has been an evolution.
Internally, my biggest grounding element is prayer. I’m the daughter of a
Vedic scholar and priest, and my dad instilled knowledge that has been
passed down for thousands of years, and rightfully so as it works! I firmly
believe that my prayer time is mine alone, where my mind can have a breather
and loosen its knots. I meditate afterward to clear out any heaviness. My
faith has been an evolution. Like anyone in their twenties, I doubted
certain practices, but it has been the greatest guiding force in my adult
life and as I navigate starting my own family. When I’m miserable, prayer
gives me hope. When I’m happy, it gives me gratitude. I can’t lose knowing
that my future is divinely planned and that I am chasing exactly what I am
meant to.
Q: How would you define “living authentically”?
AS: Contentment and faith that
you’re living as you’re meant to.
Q: What is the best advice or support you’ve received?
AS: The best advice I’ve received
is to stop viewing life as black and white. Nothing is a success. Nothing is
a failure. They are simply steps on your path that direct you to your next
stop. While I haven’t learned many of life’s lessons yet, I’m so thankful I
learned this relatively young. Recognizing that every step you take is meant
to be and not viewing them as a terminal move has led to less fear, more
confidence, more risk, and more happiness. It’s led to more trust and more
faith that I am always in good hands, because nothing will lead me where I’m
not meant to go. And by not viewing things as extremes on two ends of the
spectrum, I’ve found a lot of clarity, resilience, and stability in the
middle of chaos. There is a lot less swinging between “This is awful!” and
“This is amazing!” and a lot more, “This is where I’m meant to be. I’m
content. Let’s keep moving.”
Recognizing that every step
you take
is meant to be
and not viewing them
as a
terminal move has led to less fear,
more confidence, more risk,
and more happiness.
It’s led to more trust and more faith
that I am always in good hands,
because nothing will lead me
where I’m not meant to go.
Q: Any advice for people who might be feeling a little stuck on their
path?
AS: Movement starts with one step.
Make the doctor’s appointment. Call the friend. Send the cold email. Set
aside ten minutes for yourself. Write a few words of your book. Start your
podcast. Growth comes from pushing your own boundaries, and it doesn’t have
to be as momentous as becoming a star in a movie or going cliff-diving. It
can be much quieter and equally powerful.
Interviewed by MAMATA VENKAT
Illustrations by ANANYA PATEL
