NEELAM SHIVHARE explores some of the great ancient texts of India on motherhood, compares the behavior of Kaikayi and Yashoda, and realizes the importance of removing fear from our hearts in order to nurture our children.
The Ramayana is one of the finest epics of Indian mythology, with lessons of all kinds. It would be unfair to say one lifetime is enough to understand the essence of each character, the plot, and the overall message, but to explain the context, I will write a few sentences.
The Ramayana was set in an ancient kingdom, at a time when King Dasharatha was at the cusp of passing his duties of kingship on to his first born, Prince Rama. A peculiarity about this kingdom was that once a person had given their word, it was valued to be the highest, even beyond human life.
The kingship of Prince Rama was no surprise to anyone, being the tradition, however it was not accepted by the king’s third wife, Kaikayi, who had been convinced by her maid Manthara that her own son, Bharat, should be king. Her wishes didn’t yield results until one fateful day she happened to help King Dasharatha during a battle, whereafter he granted her a wish. She kept it as leverage for later, and meanwhile crystallized the dream for her son.
Just when the time for Prince Rama came to take over the throne, Kaikayi asked the king to grant her wish, as he had promised. She demanded that her son Bharat be the successor instead of Rama, and that Rama and his new wife Sita be sent into exile in the forest far away for fourteen years.
Upon learning what Kaikayi did, what emotions arise in you? You may wonder what made her like this? Was it her maid Manthara’s words? My current understanding says it was neither those words nor her decisions. It was fear in her heart that prevented her from seeing the truth.
One wonders how a mother can divide two brothers. Well, it appears that sensitivity is a luxury, cherished by few. Nature might give it to mothers, but doesn’t hesitate to take it back should they not exercise it in the journey of life.
Kaikayi was blinded by love for her son, aware that he was not the first born for kingship, attached to a future that tempted her. And the cherry on the top was the company she kept. Was she acting from the heart? Doubtful. Was she entirely wrong in her mind, not at all.
Then the fault arises in her choice of being driven by fear. Fear engulfs behavior. It enslaves and conditions us, and doesn’t allow even sane people to act correctly.
Compare this with Yashoda, the adoptive mother of Lord Krishna, from the era of the Kali Yuga and the great epic of the Mahabharata. Both Kaikayi and Yashoda were mothers, both deeply attached to their sons. What makes them so different?
Yashoda received Krishna as a baby and accepted him as her own. Her heart was so free she didn’t activate her mind at all. The way Krishna made his way to her heart wasn’t a coincidence. What made Yashoda behave that way? She was devoid of fear.
We are creative beings, never
forgetting the gifts with which we have
been bestowed—the love and
tenderness, natural instincts, and
intuition to feel the right path. It all lies
in the mysterious meanderings of the heart.
What remains when there is no fear? Isn’t it a heart akin to God, so loving that it doesn’t know the difference between my child and someone else’s child?
Applying these lessons, I have learned how different destinies can be shaped. What does it take? Awareness. Consciousness of behaviors, vices, and virtues.
For young women like myself, who are future mothers, I trust we are on the path of becoming self-aware and brutally honest with ourselves. We are creative beings, never forgetting the gifts with which we have been bestowed—the love and tenderness, natural instincts, and intuition to feel the right path. It all lies in the mysterious meanderings of the heart. Are we really listening to our hearts, or confusing the bombarding information on social media with reality?
Practically, what can we do to prepare ourselves?
Self-work: First, be honest with yourself. Alone, with the heart, not just meditating for the sake of ticking the box, ask yourself, “Do I like my current self? What is preventing me from being whole in this moment? Am I evolving on a daily basis?”
Work on it. Meditate ardently, and every week make a reflection: “How was I behaving last week versus how am I feeling now?”
Clarity: It isn’t about how well one can raise a life, but rather, “Am I equipped mentally, emotionally, and physically to even start doing so?” The decision is entirely with the woman. I do not hesitate to say that. Remember, we are creative beings, so there is always a way. And this is the most beautiful job, akin to the Creator’s, which is usually not looked upon with reverence.
Action: Before the game begins and you invite a new life into the world, what if you map out what kind of mom you want to be? Cool mom, nurturing mom, or something else? Yes, it is possible to carve out a plan, why not? This is your laboratory and you can choose the ingredients in you that you would love to have.
Lalaji’s “Principles of Conversation” help multifold, with their simple recipe to speak with love, like a current of the Divine that enters the heart directly. Imagine being spoken to with so much love, so much ease?
Working on that plan also helps prepare ourselves in a way that we overcome our genetic traumas, and also release our regrets, unfulfilled needs, and heal to an extent that our future little angels are served in the best way possible. Like Yashoda Maa’s infinite love. After all, kids are life’s longing to express, and we are privileged to host their bodies for the sake of tomorrow.
Turns out, Kaikayi and Yashoda were not just characters in stories, but Viveka personified, if only we are looking!
For young women like myself,
who are future mothers, I trust
we are on the path of becoming
self-aware and brutally honest
with ourselves.
Neelam Shivhare
Neelam is an Aerospace Engineer, who has studied and worked on three continents, and currently lives in Munich, Germany. She is an ardent seeker of Truth, enjoys meditation, and has been a Heartfulness trainer... Read More
