DR. ICHAK ADIZES shares his observation that happiness comes not from thinking but from feeling, encouraging readers to quiet their analytical minds and trust their hearts when making life decisions.
I have been observing people for many years, and I have come to realize that when the mind makes a choice, there is a high probability that the person will end up unhappy.
Why is that? Because the mind resides either in the future or in the past. Both can make us unhappy. The past cannot be relived, and its mistakes—or tragedies—cannot be prevented or corrected retroactively. And there is so much uncertainty about the future; it can generate fear, which in turn leads to unhappiness.
The more cerebral the person is, the unhappier they may become. People who are less cerebral, living in the here and now, seem happier. They let the mind rest and focus on the heart. They think less and feel more.
Thinking makes individuals analyze and rationalize. Either can trigger a negative mindset. Feeling is different. You feel the trees as you pass them; you feel the clouds floating over your head. You don’t wonder how the clouds are made or why they are shaped in a particular way. No thinking: you just feel the clouds, feel the mountains, feel the trees, feel the flowers, feel the people—all without judgment.
I believe it is in feeling that we find happiness, but only when we don’t fight what we feel. We simply accept it and enjoy the wonders the world has to offer. The entry point to feel love? Just feel. Do not fight what you feel. Leave the mind alone. When you feel, you get integrated with what you feel. And in that integration, you find a sense of happiness and, through it, love.
We reason with the mind. We feel with the heart. The mind generates thoughts and expresses them through words. The heart communicates with feelings.
We differentiate right from wrong in our heads. We form and base our opinions on a myriad of conflicting messages from various sources, including friends, family, teachers, books, and experiences. We often tend to suppress what our hearts are telling us and what feels natural. We suppress what our conscience says and use only our brains to justify our deeds.
The key to breaking this tendency is to detach yourself from your mind and cultivate intentional feeling. To stop the brain for a moment and ask: Does this—the opinion I am defending, the decision we are about to make, etc.—does it feel right, or wrong?
Right and wrong should not only be judged, but also felt.
Follow your feeling. It comes from the heart, and the heart knows best. The heart must watch what we think, not only in meditation but all the time.
The mind shouldn’t be allowed to govern your life alone.
And if the mind and heart are in a conflict you can’t resolve, let the heart win.
Follow your feeling.
It comes from the heart, and the heart knows best.
The heart must watch what we think,
not only in meditation but all the time.
Ichak Adizes
Dr. Adizes is widely acknowledged as one of the world’s leading management experts. He has received 21 honorary doctorates and is the author of almost 30 books that have been translated into 36 languages. Dr. ... Read More
