Anne Lamott

Unplug

<h4 style="margin-left:0px;">Anne-Grethe loves Nature and art, and is a spiritual seeker. As an artist she works in many media, from photography to collage to sculpture to painting to mural work. She has also been inspiring many children creatively over the years in the Heartfulness Center in the Danish countryside at Vrads Sande, and continues to do so.</h4>

Anne-Grethe Kousgaard.jpeg

Anne-Grethe Kousgaard

<h3 style="text-align:center;">A Workshop for the Young at Heart of All Ages</h3><h4>We all have the wisdom of the universe inside us, so in this activity ANNA-GRETHE KOUSGAARD and her students tap into that wisdom and make beautiful wisdom cards that can then be used for card games, gifts and decorations.&nbsp;</h4><h4>Activity</h4><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/wisdom_cards_activity_90436a22ff.jpg?updated_at=2023-03-31T09:05:24.476Z" alt="Wisdom cards"><ul><li>Close your eyes and sit quietly for long enough to go inside and listen to your own wisdom.</li><li>Take one card each to start with. If you know what you want to draw and write, start on your own. If not, you can choose some words from the reference library of quotes, or choose words that would comfort you if you were sad, afraid, nervous, or stressed.</li><li>You have five cards each, so use as many of them as you want.</li><li>At the end, make a display of all the cards.</li></ul><hr><h4>Add a variation</h4>Make the wisdom cards in pairs.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/wisdom_cards_variation_b760575955.jpg?updated_at=2023-03-31T09:05:57.281Z" alt="Wisdom cards">Have a small bag containing words on pieces of paper. The list could contain words like earth, friend, sunny, light, possible, great, incredible, jump, courage etc…With your friend, take turns in picking a piece of paper from the bag and reading out the word.First, on your own with your eyes closed, each see what inspires you about the word chosen. Then, together with your friend, find wisdom that you will share with others on your card.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Artwork by SAVI BALA, SNEHITA VALLUMCHETLA,&nbsp; SHRIVEDA REDDY, LAVANYA VIJAYAN</h4><hr>

Wisdom cards

<hr><h4>ANNE-GRETHE KOUSGAARD shares her love of both Nature and art in this series of leaf paintings. As an artist sh works i many media, from photography to collage to sculpture to painting to mural work. Anne-Grethe has also been inspiring many children with creativity over the years in the Heartfulness Center in the Danish countryside at Vrads Sande, and continues to do so.</h4>When I create new paintings or sculptures, ‘playing seriously’ is key for me. I forget everything about art and simply create those conditions where I feel totally free and in tune with Nature. Without ambition, I just have fun! In these paintings, dried leaves and different handmade stencils have been used in many layers. My background as a textile printer comes out in this series.www.agkousgaard.dk<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/anne1_bef7ca4507.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-04T07:22:36.294Z" alt="anne1"><hr>&nbsp;<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/anne2_aba5355188.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-04T07:23:56.279Z" alt="anne2"><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/anne3_f4493b3412.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-04T07:25:11.861Z" alt="anne3"><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/anne4_84296f7231.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-04T07:26:23.150Z" alt="anne4"><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/anne5_0038eee2b8.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-04T07:27:07.310Z" alt="anne5"><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/anne6_3cedbb5514.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-04T07:28:45.011Z" alt="anne6">&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;&nbsp;<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">An art essay by ANNE-GRETHE KOUSGAARD</h4>&nbsp;<hr>

Leaf patterns

<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/people_of_the_earth_img1_1090db72f5.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-03T06:03:24.929Z" alt="people-of-the-earth-img1">&nbsp;<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/people_of_the_earth_img2_e45d49b522.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-03T06:03:58.950Z" alt="people-of-the-earth-img2">I am an artist and a spiritual seeker.My creative drive is a deep longing.In art I look for what is behind the outer appearance for what is within – a reflection of soul.Being born in Marseille into a French and Danish family, I have always sought to connect cultural influences in creative expressions.Traveling has therefore been a part of my life ever since childhood and still is. The meeting with different original cultures, especially in India and Greenland, have been landmarks for me. In both places, I have felt a strong connection and the feeling of coming home. In my paintings and sculptures I aim to reflect an atmosphere of places and how it can be experienced.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/people_of_the_earth_img3_651bda2c2d.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-03T06:04:41.959Z" alt="people-of-the-earth-img3">&nbsp;<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/people_of_the_earth_img4_ddad548f5d.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-03T06:05:18.123Z" alt="people-of-the-earth-img4">At one point, I realised that the inner spiritual journey, for me, is far more nurturing than the outer, and since then I have been practising heart meditation on a regular basis. I here discover another way to return home – a state of being – which is now a focal point in my art with portraits and landscapes – the reflection of soul.&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Art essay by ANNE-GRETHE KOUSGAARD</h4><hr>

People of the earth

Next time you are on the beach, in the forest, or by a river, choose some stones to collect to paint with your
 friends or family. Make sure you check that they are not stones with moss, lichen or other living things growing on
 them, as that will disturb the local ecology.
While having each stone in your hand, you can ask yourself:
What kind of stone have I found?
What kind of pattern would be nice on the stone?
Are there some marks on the stone that call for a theme?
Acrylic colours are more permanent than watercolors and Uni-Posca paint marker pens make fine lines very easily.
Enjoy and have fun!

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<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article By&nbsp;ANNE-GRETHE KOUSGAARD</h4>
<hr>

Painting stones

<img decoding="async" alt="dreamcatchers" width="512" height="711"
 class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dreamcatchers1_img_9435a201cc.jpg">
Dreamcatchers have always been used as charms by Native Americans. They are hung above the bed, to protect sleeping
 children from nightmares and instead give them good dreams. The design is based on a willow hoop, on which is woven
 or attached a loose net or web.
Dreamcatchers are then decorated with sacred items such as feathers and beads.
To make a dreamcatcher is a very meditative activity, due to the round shape, and the choice of colours, beads and
 feathers.
<img decoding="async" alt="dreamcatchers" width="642" height="813"
 class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dreamcatchers2_img_2115fd10b8.jpg">Here is a list of MATERIALS you can use:
<ul>
 <li>Willow twigs are flexible and easy to shape into a circle that can be bound to hold together.</li>
 <li>Inside the willow circle you make a spiders web with cotton strings in different colours.</li>
 <li>Decorate the dreamcatcher with coloured strings, beads and all kind of materials from Nature, such as feathers,
 seashells, seed pods and pieces of wood.</li>
</ul>
<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Artwork, photos and activity by ANNE-GRETHE KOUSGAARD</h4>
<hr>

Dreamcatchers

<hr>Is there someone whose face you would love to draw or paint? It can be someone you know or someone you don’t know. Either find the person and ask if you can paint them, or use a photo of the person. What matters is that the face of the person should attract you in some way, and make you feel something.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/maja_34b157857e.jpg?updated_at=2023-03-31T07:28:13.882Z"><hr>Look carefully at the face, how it is composed, including all the smaller details. Also, connect with your heart and look at the face with a defocused view. When we have a defocused view, we are able to see the full picture. To have a defocused view, have one eye turned outside on what you are doing, and one eye inside in contact with your heart. Then start your painting or drawing of the portrait. Do not judge your work; just stay openhearted.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/potrait2_9c62feeaf8.jpg?updated_at=2023-03-31T07:29:04.816Z">When your portrait is finished, you can choose to ask your art piece: “If you could talk to me, what would you tell me?” There is often a ‘message’ in our artwork. It could be something like, “Listen inside,” or “What are your dreams?”Enjoy!&nbsp;<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Photos and text by ANNE-GRETHE KOUSGAARD Painted portrait by MAJA BRUUN-SMIDT</h4>&nbsp;<hr>

Making portraits

<h5>Materials Needed:</h5>
<ul>
 <li>1 large round plate around 120 cm in diameter.</li>
 <li>2 or 3 paper or wooden plates, as large as you can find.</li>
 <li>Blue, white and green acrylic paint and brushes.</li>
 <li>Natural materials of all kinds: small and large stones, gravel, soil, straw, grass, moss, pieces of wood,
 plants, branches, sea shells, bones, clay etc.</li>
</ul>
<div class="row create-a-world-our-blue-planet">
 <div class="col-12 col-md-6">
 <img class="mw-100"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/create_a_world_our_blue_planet1_1d24c8e398.jpg?updated_at=2023-03-29T10:11:10.195Z"
 alt="create-a-world-our-blue-planet1" />
 </div>
 <div class="col-12 col-md-6">
 <img class="mw-100"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/create_a_world_our_blue_planet2_c61c0f9140.jpg?updated_at=2023-03-29T10:11:10.102Z"
 alt="create-a-world-our-blue-planet2" />
 </div>
</div>
<h5>Our planet is called the blue planet. Do you know why?</h5>
From space it looks like a blue ball. This is due to the oceans that you find on our planet.
<h5>What else can you see when you look at our blue planet?</h5>
Do you see different continents, cold and warm regions, virgin forests, deserts, mountains, rivers and cities?

Can you also imagine another blue planet: a dream planet that only you know about? Imagine what that world is like.
Now, close your eyes and visualise our mother earth or your dream blue planet. What is the thing that you like most
about it? What would you like to see on your planet?


<div class="row create-a-world-our-blue-planet">
 <div class="col-12 col-md-6">
 <img class="mw-100"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/create_a_world_our_blue_planet3_0ff346b37b.jpg?updated_at=2023-03-29T10:17:08.378Z"
 alt="create-a-world-our-blue-planet3" />
 </div>
 <div class="col-12 col-md-6">
 <img class="mw-100"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/create_a_world_our_blue_planet4_0bfbe35858.jpg?updated_at=2023-03-29T10:17:08.418Z"
 alt="create-a-world-our-blue-planet4" />
 </div>
</div>


Choose a friend or two to build your planet. First spend some time sharing what you would each like to build and how you
see the planet.

Start by painting the large plate blue. Then build up a world together on that blue plate.

Put a sacred place in the centre of the world.

Place stones of all size as mountains and hills. They can be decorated with white paint for snow and green for grass.
Place moss, gravel and earth, and trees. The sea can be a blue painted bowl with water in it.

You can make small animals, humans or any kind of creature for your world, and choose where they should be placed.



 <img decoding="async" alt="spiritual-stories-for-children" width="500" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/create_a_world_our_blue_planet5_3e1e2f9af4.jpg?updated_at=2023-03-29T10:19:38.170Z">


<h4>THINK ABOUT:</h4>
How can we take care of our earth?

How would we like our world to be?
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<h4 style="text-align: center;">Idea &amp; text: ANNE-GRETHE KOUSGAARD</h4>
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CREATE A WORLD : Our Blue Planet

Right now it is springtime in the northern hemisphere and autumn in the southern hemisphere. In the south, the leaves
 are changing color and falling from many of the trees, as the days get shorter and the evenings cooler.
So it is the perfect time to collect these beautiful colored leaves and press them in an old book for at least a
 week, so that they are flat and ready to be decorated.
Once the leaves are ready, here is one activity that you can invite your friends to do with you. …
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<img decoding="async" class="lazyload w-100"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/decorative_leaves_2_59a15ad847.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-04T05:59:50.081Z">

<h5 style="text-align: center;">Maybe you will also be inspired to write a poem or a story on one of your leaves.</h5>
<img decoding="async" width="127" height="32" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/divider_decorative_leaves_2396c1a14e.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-04T06:13:53.466Z">

<h5 style="text-align: center;"></h5>
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<h4>Read the complete article in <a style="color: #bf8f26;"
 href="//www.heartfulnessmagazine.com/category/volume2/volume2issue4/">Volume 2, Issue 4</a> 
 </h4>
<h4><a href="//www.heartfulnessmagazine.com/subscribe/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">SUBSCRIBE &amp; DOWNLOAD</a></h4>
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<h4 style="text-align: center;">Activity &amp; photos by ANNE-GRETHE KOUSGAARD</h4>
<hr>

Decorative leaves

Annie is an acclaimed science writer whose work has appeared in the New York Times, the Boston Globe, Scientific American, Slate, Time magazine, and The Best American Science Writing. She is the author of Origins and The Cult of Personality, and her TED Talk has been viewed by more than 2.6 million people. A graduate of Yale University and the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism, she is currently a Learning Sciences Exchange Fellow at New America.



Annie-Murphy-Paul.jpg

Annie Murphy Paul

<h4
 id="h-annie-murphy-paul-is-a-journalist-and-author-whose-books-include-origins-how-the-nine-months-before-birth-shape-the-rest-of-our-lives-the-cult-of-personality-testing-and-the-extended-mind-the-power-of-thinking-outside-the-brain-in-part-2-of-this-interview-by-uday-kumar-she-speaks-more-about-interoception-and-self-awareness-and-how-gestures-and-physical-expressions-are-as-important-as-verbal-communication-in-helping-our-children-to-learn">
 ANNIE MURPHY PAUL
 is a journalist and author whose books include
 Origins: How the Nine Months Before Birth Shape the Rest of our Lives,
 The Cult of Personality Testing, and The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain. In
 part 2 of this interview by
 UDAY KUMAR, she
 speaks more about interoception and self-awareness, and how gestures and
 physical expressions are as important as verbal communication in helping our
 children to learn.
</h4>

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<h3 class="has-text-align-center" id="h-how-to-nurture-your-children-s-inner-strengths-part-2">
 HOW TO NURTURE YOUR CHILDREN’S INNER STRENGTHS – PART 2
</h3>

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 Q: As you do research on the extended mind, what do you think
 about the
 role of mirror neurons?



 AMP: I don’t
 refer to mirror neurons. I am not convinced that we know enough about how they
 operate and how central they are to the processes of empathy and
 communication. And I don’t think it is necessary to understand. I say this in
 the book: Humans naturally engage in mimicry, subtle automatic miming of each
 other, when talking face to face. It’s by making those expressions and
 gestures, and by assuming the postures of the other person, that we then read
 off our own bodies what those postures and expressions make us feel. That’s
 how we get access to what another person is feeling and thinking. Research has
 found that people who are more attuned to their own internal signals can be
 more empathetic because they then feel more acutely the signals they read from
 the other person. I am fascinated by processes like this in which humans
 bridge the divide between us, so we are not as separate as we think we are. So
 in my case I didn’t feel the need to draw in the research about mirror
 neurons.



 Q: You also touch upon sensing, labeling and verbalizing of
 emotions. One
 of the core practices of many meditation systems, including Heartfulness, is
 journaling at the end of a meditation sessions.



 AMP: Oh,
 interesting!



 Q: We observe ourselves at the physical, mental, emotional, and
 spiritual
 levels, and train ourselves in the vocabulary of journaling. We develop the
 capacity to have one eye always looking inward while looking at another
 person. We learn to become adept at witnessing through meditation and
 journaling.



 AMP: So, I would
 like to know your thoughts on any research you have come across on journaling
 and how it helps.



 That sounds like a really fruitful exercise, and it makes me think of two
 areas of research I write about in the book. One is around interoception.
 There is a suggestion that the most effective way to use those interoceptive
 sensations is to alternate or oscillate between attending to the outside world
 and attending to the inside world, so that you’re getting a constant infusion
 of information from both places. You don’t get lost in the internal
 sensations, but you are not so focused on the outside that you are not in tune
 to what is going on inside. That is an effective way to gain wisdom from both
 spheres. It sounds like journaling might facilitate that.


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<hr />

<h5 class="has-text-align-center">
 The most effective way to use those
 interoceptive sensations is to
 alternate or oscillate between attending to the outside world and attending
 to the inside world, so that you’re getting a constant infusion of information
 from both places.
</h5>

<hr />

<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 Second, it is very useful to take the mental contents of the brain and put
 them out into physical space, whether it is on a whiteboard, post-it notes, or
 a field notebook. I have read about how important field notebooks are to
 scientists. Although it may seem that a thought in our head and a thought we
 write down on a page are the same, they really are different – what
 psychologists call different affordances. We can do different things with
 them. Once we put a thought down on paper, we can inspect it with our senses.
 We can look at it, we can read it out loud, we can change it around, we can
 manipulate it in ways that remain inert when it is inside our head. In
 journaling, we externalize our thoughts and feelings so we can look at them in
 the moment, and we can also revisit them later in a way that is difficult to
 deal with if it remains in our head. I think it is a really productive and
 fruitful exercise.



 Q: My teacher says that when you are on a hike, if you look back
 every few
 yards, you won’t know how much ground you’ve covered, but when you come to
 the summit you will see the whole thing. He says it is exactly like that
 when you read your journal from three years ago. You see what thoughts you
 were getting in meditation, and how observant you were of your own inner
 environment. That’s a good way of gauging your own progress, of tracking
 your inner progress and figuring out how it is coming along.



 AMP: It is
 remarkable how difficult that is to do if you don’t write things down. It is
 hard to remember how you were three years ago. And that is a useful difference
 between an external resource like paper and pen or a computer file and our
 brains, which are always transmuting and changing our memory, often in a
 fruitful and productive way, but not in a way that keeps things as they were.
 We need something that is kept as it was so we can push against it or remember
 how things were, which is what the brain is not meant to be. The brain is not
 good at being a fixed and unchanging record of what happened.


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<div class="block-image">
 <figure>
 <img width="700" alt="nurture_children_strrength_part2" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/nurture_children_strrength_part2_2_700x459_171b902801.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-06T10:54:55.930Z" />
 </figure>
</div>

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 Q: I am taking a jump here, but the better we are at our own
 interoceptive
 reading, the better we are at reading others, too. Not in terms of getting
 into their minds, but feeling what they are feeling, understanding what they
 are going through, and that’s how we can communicate better with people. It
 starts with “me,” but if we are honest with our own changes, then it
 radiates outward in concentric circles.



 AMP: I think that
 is absolutely true, in a way that if we stayed locked inside our own head we
 wouldn’t be able to make that connection with other people.



 Q: Can you talk a little bit about your research around
 meditators and the
 ultimatum game?



 AMP: I was just
 fascinated by some research I came across that seemed to push against the very
 common and old idea in Western culture that it’s the brain that is rational
 and the body is an unruly, irrational animal-like entity, and the rational
 brain controls this unruly body. What was so fascinating to me about the
 research on the ultimatum game is that the body can be more rational than the
 brain.



 In the experiment, groups of participants were asked to play the ultimatum
 game, where there are partners. One partner has control of the kitty of money,
 and they decide how much to offer their partner. The expectation of the
 partner generally is that growing out of reciprocity the other person will
 fairly divide the kitty in half.



 Often, however, the offering person gave their partner less than half and kept
 more for themselves.


<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<hr />

<h5 class="has-text-align-center">
 
 What was so fascinating to me about 
 the research on the ultimatum game is that the body can be more
 rational than the brain.
</h5>

<hr />

<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 The rational thing for a recipient partner to do was to take whatever was
 offered: If they were given one dollar, that was one dollar they would not
 have had otherwise. But because they had a social expectation of reciprocity,
 often the people who were offered less than half, or less than what they
 thought they should get, refused it out of spite, almost to say, “If you are
 not going to give me what I think is fair, I am going to spite myself by not
 accepting that offer at all.” So that’s very irrational in a sense.


The research found that long-time meditators were:

<ol>
 <li>more likely to accept the low offer, to do the rational thing, and</li>
 <li>
 when they made that choice, the part of their brain called the insula, which
 is the interoceptive hub where all the sensations of the body are processed,
 was more active when they were contemplating this offer.
 </li>
</ol>


 And in people who did not meditate it was the prefrontal cortex that was
 active, which is the part of the brain that makes judgments and decides when
 something is fair or not. In other words, those people who were meditators,
 and probably more attuned to their bodies, were making a more rational choice
 in this economic game than people who were using their heads. I found that
 result really fascinating.



 Q: Me too! My interpretation of that study was that as you
 meditate, your
 ego becomes more humble and grounded. If you think of the ego as a spectrum,
 one extreme is humility and the other is arrogance, and you are somewhere in
 the middle. You may not think it’s fair, but you accept and move on.



 AMP: Right! I
 don’t have to put my big ego out in front and let it make all the decisions.


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<hr />

<h5 class="has-text-align-center">
 Research now shows that gesture is similarly important for
 building
 vocabulary and later academic success.
</h5>

<hr />

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<div class="block-image">
 <figure>
 <img width="700" alt="nurture-children-strrength" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/nurture_children_strrength_part2_3_700x459_75e2bf7deb.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-06T10:55:51.651Z" />
 </figure>
</div>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 Q: I would like to ask you more about gestures, especially for
 children. I
 was familiar with the word gap study by Hart and Risley, and I come from the
 Indian culture where everybody talks to their children all the time. What I
 hadn’t understood, and what you called out, was how important gestures are
 for a child. I still remember my grandmother and her gestures. She was very
 animated, and it did something. Can you talk about gestures and their role
 in our lives?



 AMP: That’s a
 lovely memory. It must have been very engaging to listen to her and watch her.
 You got the full helping at the start of your life!



 What’s interesting is the idea of a gesture gap. In the Hart and Risley study,
 they found that affluent children may hear as many as 30 million more words by
 the time they start school than less affluent children. This word gap has an
 enormous implication on how they perform in school. Research now shows that
 gesture is similarly important for building vocabulary and later academic
 success. We see a similar effect on how much affluent parents gesture with
 their children and how much less affluent parents gesture with their children.
 We can say there is a gesture gap along with a word gap, which may be just as
 significant.



 And the good news here is that with a little bit of training and awareness
 raising, parents from all socio-economic groups can employ more gestures in
 their interactions with their children. For example, when they are reading a
 book with their children, pointing with their finger, or making a cat gesture
 when they are talking about a cat. Those gestures made by parents lead
 children to make more gestures, and later on it shows up in a larger spoken
 vocabulary for the children.



 This is just another example of how we are so focused on verbal language that
 we don’t focus on gesture. Once we know the importance of gesture, however, we
 can bring it onto our parenting practices



 Q: Amazing! I love it because it shines the light of science
 onto something
 we take for granted.



 Thank you, I really appreciate it.



 AMP: Thank you
 for reading the book so carefully, and for having such thoughtful questions. I
 really appreciate it.


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<h4 class="has-text-align-center">Illustrations by ANANYA PATEL</h4>

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The importance of gestures in communication

<h4>ANNIE MURPHY PAUL is a journalist and author who writes about the biological and social sciences. Her books include Origins: How the Nine Months Before Birth Shape the Rest of our Lives, The Cult of Personality Testing, and The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain. In this interview by UDAY KUMAR, she speaks about her latest book, and the implications the extended mind has for children’s development and how we learn.</h4><hr>Q: I want to congratulate you on The Extended Mind, because this topic is not for the faint-hearted. The more I read, the more I feel the pains and the tribulations you have gone through to stitch the whole story together and make sure it holds. How did you come across this? What gave you the signal that this is it?AMP: It was a long and winding road, as books sometimes are. I started out with the idea of writing about the science of learning. I focused on that in my magazine journalism for a while. It actually pretty closely followed the contours of my own life, because I had done the research and recording for Origins when I was pregnant with my second son. Then, when my sons were older and went to school, I became very interested in their learning, the instructions their teachers were giving them, how that all worked. I knew I wanted to write something about the science of learning, but I couldn’t seem to find a big idea that would pull it all together. The more I explored the science of learning, the more it felt like a collection of techniques and methods that were very useful, but there wasn’t a big idea for me as a writer, which I need to get excited and pull me through all that hard work.So I started widening the range of things I was reading, including venturing into philosophy and cognitive science, and that’s how I came across the 1998 article by Clark and Chelmer on the idea of the “extended mind.” I don’t remember it being a lightbulb moment, but it eventually came to be the idea that pulled together all the threads. I felt they were in some way related, but I really could not put my finger on how. Things like embodied cognition and situated cognition, the way the physical place affects the way we think, and then socially-distributed cognition, the idea that we think with other people. All those things seem to be modelling how thinking happens, as opposed to the conventional idea that it all happens in the head.But until I encountered the idea of the extended mind, I didn’t have a name for what exactly I was talking about. And then from there, I wouldn’t say it all fell into place, but it gave the book the spine that I needed to string all those different pieces together.Q: How long was the project overall?AMP: It’s hard to say, because the science of learning stuff kind of morphed into what I was writing about the extended mind; the science of learning material flowed into the extended mind. I would say I was working on the book itself probably for five years, but I was writing articles, doing research, and reporting on the science of learning for five years before that. That really informed what I eventually wrote in The Extended Mind.Q: It shows! I am halfway through your book right now, and I am taking my time because I am also looking up the research studies that you are referring to, and in many ways it has made me a student of the subject. In Heartfulness there is the idea of moving from thinking to feeling – the journey of consciousness moves from thinking to feeling to being to a state of non-being. So I got onto your concept of the extended mind immediately. This is brilliant coming from the angle of science. In your book, there is a sentence, “The future lies in thinking outside the brain.” Do you want to talk a little about that – what you see from that standpoint when you talk about the future?AMP: Yes. I think I wrote that the future lies in thinking outside the brain in the context of how very complex our culture has become. As humans, we have created this incredibly complex culture and society, which in many ways is beyond the capacity of our biological brains to handle. We are interacting with this 21st century world, with all these enormous challenges and complexities, but we are still using our Stone Age brains, which evolved for very different kinds of purposes. Our brains didn’t evolve to deal with abstract concepts so much as they evolved to move the body, manipulate physical objects, relate to other people, and navigate through space.So these are the things the brain does easily, effortlessly and well. The more we can leverage those natural human strengths in the service of the things we ask the brain to do, at school, at work, and in our daily lives, the better those activities will go. But we have this bias – I really think it’s a prejudice – against thinking outside the brain. We almost fetishize the brain as a sacred organ, when it really has these built-in limits that are just a product of its status as a biologically-evolved organ, and they are shared by all of us. We are obsessed with individual differences and intelligence, when the main thing we should really be focusing on are the limits that are common to all of our brains, and thinking about how to transcend those limits, because we really do have to meet the challenges of the moment.I am thinking about climate change and political polarization. These huge challenges we have are so complex, and we need to meet these moments as individuals and as a society, and the biological brain is not really up to that job. So thinking outside the brain, drawing in these extra neural resources, and using them skillfully is our best shot. It’s humanity’s best shot to tackle the serious problems that face us.<hr><hr><h5>Thinking outside the brain,&nbsp; drawing in these extra neural resources,&nbsp; and using them skillfully is our best shot.&nbsp; It’s humanity’s best shot to tackle&nbsp; the serious problems that face us.</h5><hr><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/how_to_nurture_children_part1_2_a1321980ea.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T04:22:22.669Z" alt=""><hr>Q: I intuitively get it. I think it is something we have lost over time. It comes to us naturally if we are receptive enough, and that’s where you talk about the whole idea of interoception, and how the body is actually communicating with the brain.In your work, as you were looking at and reading some of these things, was there any research or idea around the interplay of the heart and the mind? I am not talking about the pump, the organ, but the field of operation that we keep harmonizing with and with which we achieve a state of flow.AMP: Yes. That’s how I tried to structure the book. Extending with the body, then space, and our relationships with other people, I see it like a set of concentric circles that are rippling ever outward.Q: As a reader, how do I apply some of these basics as a busy professional in consulting, who has billed all the hours and still has work left to do? Do you have any tips you want to share with a working person on how to extend the mind?AMP: Let’s start with that one thought you just mentioned – interoception, the capacity for sensing the internal signals of our bodies. I think we have this notion in our society that to do difficult mental work means to push the body aside, to push it out of the picture, just be a brain working at a desk, at a screen. It is a mistake to think that that is how the best kind of thinking happens. It’s actually cutting out a huge source of human intelligence.What I would recommend for that consultant, to help with his busy schedule, is rather than powering through and gritting your teeth and ignoring the body, take a moment to settle back into your body, and remember you have a body. Tune into what your body is telling you. That can be a source of really valuable information that you will be missing out on if you are not in touch with it.In the book, I describe using a meditation exercise, the body scan, to pay close, non-judgmental and open-minded attention to all those sensations that are arising in the body all the time, but which we often in our busy-ness ignore or push away. Pay attention to those signals and, over time, you can learn what they are telling you, and how they can guide your behavior.It doesn’t have to take long. It’s just a matter of remembering to do that – checking in with your body rather than acting as if you are just a head, from the neck up.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/how_to_nurture_children_part1_3_6e5c6c730d.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T04:29:24.618Z" alt=""><hr><hr><h5>Experts are the ones who are out there&nbsp; mucking around in the real world,&nbsp; getting feedback in the real world,&nbsp; trying out new things,&nbsp; and figuring out how things work.&nbsp; That is another type of thinking outside the brain:&nbsp; where you’re not doing it all in here the head,&nbsp; you’re doing it out in the world.</h5><hr><hr>Q: I like that, and the body awareness exercise you share in the book. In Heartfulness, we have some of these exercises like guided relaxation that we teach to children. I had my kids do this through the pandemic before they started school, because they were not used to so much screen time. Also, observing which nostril is dominant at any point in time and seeing how it switches.I also read the part in your book where you talk about expertise – how being an expert is not just about mastering those 10,000 hours. Experts are actually extending, trying more, tracking more. While we are breaking down the holy altars of the brain, can we also break down the concept of expertise?AMP: I definitely see that connection. A word that I really like, which was coined by one of the originators of the theory of the extended mind, Andy Clark, is “brain-bound.” We have this brain-bound approach to work and school, and also to expertise. We think about expertise as an individual putting in those 10,000 hours to become an expert, and there’s very little reference to how, for example, nobody becomes an input by themselves. It’s quintessentially a social process, and that’s something I write in the book: People like physics graduates or doctors-in-training become experts by interacting with others and being socialized into their fields. It’s true of all of us.I mentioned those two because I cite some studies in regard to them specifically. We think of experts as doing it all in their heads, we think of experts as knowing exactly what to do and doing it, and it is very clean and efficient. But actually, experts are the ones who are out there mucking around in the real world, getting feedback in the real world, trying out new things, and figuring out how things work. That is another type of thinking outside the brain: where you’re not doing it all in here the head, you’re doing it out in the world.<hr><hr><h5>The more we can incorporate&nbsp; these other aspects of the body,&nbsp; of movement, and of social interaction,&nbsp; the more we can pull those into academics,&nbsp; and leverage them to make&nbsp; learning more effective.</h5><hr><hr>When you think about an expert designer or architect, they’re often making models of the project they’re working on or the problem they’re trying to solve, and interacting with that model, moving their body around the model. They’re not doing it all in their head. Artists and designers often say that their best ideas emerge in the process of sketching, and drawing, and iterating their ideas on paper. It’s not as if they have the idea inside their head and they just dictate it. It happens in the process of doing the work itself. I think we have some mistaken ideas, some brain-bound ideas about what expertise is and how it works, and if we want to become experts it would be a good idea to revise those.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/how_to_nurture_children_part1_4_43967d1e0f.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T04:30:32.655Z" alt=""><hr>Q: I completely agree. There is also this element of intellectual humility that experts have. They’re willing to accept what they don’t know and listen. I think it is also a sign of the extended mind, where the mind has factored in the humility of “What I know is less than what I don’t know.” I think that’s where experts keep growing, while others maybe taper off over time.Now, extending the idea of expertise, that instead of people thinking better they extend their minds better, how do we teach our children these skills? Not in terms of a policy, but from what you see, from your research, are there any thoughts on how to teach kids, how to design their work spaces?AMP: I think there are so many implications for what we could be doing right now with our kids, with our students. You mentioned earlier that you tell your kids about tuning into their bodies before school starts. Scientists have found all these individual differences in how people are attuned to their internal signals, and the reason those individual differences arise is because of differences in the kinds of messaging children receive from their caregivers. “Is it okay to listen to my body? Is it okay to take those messages seriously, or am I supposed to ignore those messages and pretend they don’t exist?”So encouraging our kids to tune into their bodies is certainly one thing I have taken away from the research, in terms of what I do with my own kids.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/how_to_nurture_children_part1_5_22d981aa60.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T04:32:15.793Z" alt=""><hr>I’ve also stressed to them the importance of movement and gesture. Again, we have this idea that thinking and academic work happens when students are sitting quietly at their desks, when really the human brain and body evolved to move, and there are so many ways movement can enhance thinking. Likewise, being outside, often we can combine those two things: movement and being outdoors. Those two things can work together to really replenish depleted stores of attention and executive function. It’s a lot to ask kids to sit inside hour after hour, focusing on these things that they are not necessarily naturally interested in.The more we can incorporate these other aspects of the body, of movement, and of social interaction, the more we can pull those into academics, and leverage them to make learning more effective. I talk about thinking with other people, and thinking with peers, about teaching others, debating, and storytelling. These are all ways we can leverage children’s natural sociability, social instincts and interest in the social world in the service of what we want them to learn.<hr>To be continued.<hr><hr><h4>Interviewed by UDAY KUMAR&nbsp; Illustrations by ANANYA PATEL</h4><hr>

How to nurture your children’s inner strengths – part 1

Annika is the co-host of the podcast, The Woke Desi, and author of the The Rearranged Life and the upcoming book, Love, Chai, and Other Four-Letter Words. With a background in biobehavioral health, neuro-psychology, and early childhood special education, she is passionate about breaking boundaries and having dialogues on both fun and taboo topics to encourage others to grow and evolve.



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Annika Sharma

<hr><h4>ANNIKA SHARMA is the co-host of the podcast, The Woke Desi, and author of the upcoming book, Love, Chai, and Other Four-Letter Words, about following your heart, life influencing art, pokes and stretches caused by the coronavirus pandemic, and the things we can be doing to fill our cups. Here she is interviewed by MAMATA VENKAT.</h4><hr>Q: We have had so many conversations over the years about being true to ourselves. I learn from you what it means to really live from the heart.What was the point in your journey where you realized you were living how you thought you should be living, instead of living how you wanted to be living?AS:&nbsp;The day I got my agent was one. Subsequently, getting a book deal was another. These were pivotal in the journey of recognizing that I have a tendency to build my life according to what society tells me is acceptable, rather than building it according to what strengths God gave me. Until then, I was forcing myself into convenient boxes that no one was pressuring me toward except myself. My parents have always told me I should go into communications of some sort. But I kept seeing people who I thought were successful go into other more traditional paths and it was all I knew. I followed.But certain common threads always weave themselves through our stories – for me, connection, words, having a voice, creativity, whimsy, and telling stories, were the center of every success I had had. Even on the paths that ended up not being right for me, the common thread was there. For example, I survived nursing school for exactly one semester, during which my greatest success (earning a $10K scholarship) came from writing an essay. I chose to ignore the very large, very colorful, billboard-sized signs that I was meant to connect with people with my voice.Once I wrote my book the doors began opening, and I found that working hard didn’t feel like work at all. The fact that I was the first in my circles to take this path became empowering rather than fearful. I felt so centered, purposeful, and the inner voice was nothing short of divine-like whispering, “You’re exactly right on this path.” The successes afterward only affirmed that. And after knowing what conviction right to my bones felt like, I couldn’t imagine going back to a life where I didn’t have it.<hr>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<h5 style="text-align:center;">Certain common threads always weave themselves through our stories – for me, connection, words, having a voice, creativity, whimsy, and telling stories, were the center of every success I had had.</h5>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<hr>There is a quote about our greatest fear not being that we are inadequate but that we are powerful. I think about it all the time. We have power that is granted only to us, and the paths we live can be a testament to that gift. Otherwise, what are we doing? Are we honoring our God-given gifts? So many of us never lean into them out of fear. Since the book deal, it’s been a chase for the next conquest that I feel pulled to.This is a more spiritual answer than I think you were shooting for, but it’s the truth! Turning inward and looking to a greater power has allowed me to hear and feel the plan meant for me, and the internal compass has guided me toward it. With each success comes reaffirmation. The more connected I am to the Divinity in me and in the world, the more authentically I live, the more I see my greater purpose, and the more I chase those endeavors. It’s a wonderful cycle of trust, faith, purpose, and authenticity.<hr>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<h5 style="text-align:center;">The more connected I am to the Divinity in me and in the world, the more authentically I live, the more I see my greater purpose, and the more I chase those endeavors. It’s a wonderful cycle of trust, faith, purpose, and authenticity.</h5>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<hr>Q: Let’s talk about your passions for a second. What are the things you are currently working on that are filling your cup?AS:&nbsp;The last year has been a brutal one in terms of loss, grief, exhaustion, and shaky stability. It’s also given me time to reflect and to seek out my purpose, and to lay the groundwork for the life I want to live going forward. Am I surviving or thriving after this? The last year allowed me to lean into the things I love most: connecting with people, discovering my voice, growing my podcast, writing my books, and continuing to ground myself in healthier practices. The gym has finally seen more of me than it ever has before! The points of connection these things provide with the universe, with my loved ones, and with myself, have been eye-opening in terms of where I want to go and what I want to do.I’ve also slowed down and become more intentional about my time. We were moving at such a fast pace prior to the pandemic that I never took stock of whether certain things felt right. I said yes all the time. Now I feel more comfortable saying, “This isn’t working so maybe it’s time to let go,” rather than feeling obligated to participate in something. My priorities have shifted.I’ve been consumed by writing manuscripts. My next book, Love, Chai, and Other Four-Letter Words, comes out on October 5. It’s a romcom story set against family drama, bucket lists, and city lights. I’m now deep in the throes of writing the second book in the series and working on a few others to rev up my career!<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Living_Authentically2_1_9006670e8c.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T07:40:22.203Z" alt="Living-Authentically2"><hr>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<h5 style="text-align:center;">I like to think that as I grow more confident, comfortable, and risk-friendly, my characters grow bolder&nbsp;and less apologetic too. My stories are told with&nbsp;more conviction and are fuller because&nbsp;I myself am experiencing&nbsp;that fullness and certainty.</h5>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<hr>Q: Do you find that that real life influences the characters you create and the paths they take in your books?AS:&nbsp;All the time. Whether it’s a life experience I’ve had, like visiting every tourist place in New York, or a feeling as devastating as heartbreak or as magical as a sparkly night with friends under city lights, writing allows me to empathize and to put myself in the shoes of the people I’ve created, who may be nothing like me. And that translates to real life too. As I witness my characters come to life and do things that perhaps I wouldn’t do, I learn to empathize with people who make different decisions from mine, and that creates growth. I like to think that as I grow more confident, comfortable, and risk-friendly, my characters grow bolder and less apologetic too. My stories are told with more conviction and are fuller because I myself am experiencing that fullness and certainty.Q: Your podcast, The Woke Desi, has seen incredible success over the last year and a half. I think that you and your co-host, Nehal Tenany, have beautifully created a community where both guests and listeners can come to the table as themselves. How has this project aligned with your goals for yourself?AS:&nbsp;My brother Sridhar is our producer. He told me something that makes me laugh and also drives me when I work on the show: “You have one job as a podcast host: use your voice to tell a story.” The audience can tell if we aren’t ourselves or if we aren’t enthusiastic about a particular advertisement. We have no choice but to be ourselves! The podcast has given us greater confidence in owning our unique stories. It’s also given me a platform to create the connection I mentioned before.One of my greatest missions in life is to create interactions where no one leaves feeling unhappy or alone. As we explore different stigmatized issues, the podcast allows us to foster growth in those who haven’t experienced certain difficulties, and to allow those who have experienced them to feel seen and loved.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Living_Authentically3_1_e7d630b38b.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T07:42:11.161Z" alt="Living-Authentically3"><hr>Q: Are there stories you’ve heard from your guests that have made you pause, think, and reframe?AS:&nbsp;All the time! One episode was about Indo-Caribbean identity. Over 1.4 million Indians were taken, sometimes against their will, and shipped to other parts of the world like Fiji, Africa and the Caribbean, as indentured servants and slaves. The descendants of those people carry traumas, in addition to the pressure of preserving cultures to which their ancestors clung. Now, South Asians tend to see them as outsiders. We have abandoned our own, and much of that is entwined in casteism, socioeconomic status, colonization, and more.<hr>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<h5 style="text-align:center;">I learn through networking, observing, studying on my own, and navigating my own instincts amongst it all. I have to rely on myself constantly to answer my own questions. That takes a lot of self-awareness, prayer, and growth.</h5>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<hr>Many of our women’s health issues also stick with me. It’s a sad reality that our South Asian culture, while beautiful and ripe with tradition, often doesn’t see people outside of our own families as equal, and women are included in that. Discussing issues like sexuality, marriage pressure, miscarriage, infertility and mental health, allows us to explore how much we inadvertently put others in pain or silence them. I think those are the most powerful episodes – the ones that make us feel like we can create a great change within our own families and societies and encourage people rather than demoralizing them and isolating them.Q: Have there been professional, emotional, and literal bumps that you have had to overcome on this journey of turning your passion into a reality?AS:&nbsp;The road to success is often a lonely one, particularly if there aren’t many people in your circles who have pursued similar paths. It can foster a lot of doubt when you don’t have many people to turn to for guidance. It can be isolating. I often struggle with the question, “What’s next?” because not many people close to me are positioned to give me advice. I learn through networking, observing, studying on my own, and navigating my own instincts amongst it all. I have to rely on myself constantly to answer my own questions. That takes a lot of self-awareness, prayer, and growth.Another difficulty with being heart-led and passion-driven is that you throw your soul into everything you do. So the things that don’t align – friends who aren’t the same way, jobs that don’t fill your cup, day-to-day tasks that seem boring – are frustrating to cope with. I would love to write full-time but it typically takes five or more books to generate a steady income stream. I am on book three. That means for the sake of my student loans and financial stability, I have to also hold a full-time job. When your purpose calls loudly that can feel limiting. It’s a very practical roadblock and practicality can often be at odds with passion.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Living_Authentically4_2_27d269dd19.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T07:49:32.595Z" alt="Living-Authentically4"><hr>Q: What are the tools that you lean on — both internal and external — that keep you anchored during those bumpy times?AS:&nbsp;Externally, the biggest tools I have are ones that fill me with joy and I’ve been keeping those a high priority through the last year of instability. I try to exercise four to five times a week. I have a therapist and I am a huge proponent of therapy to handle the stress of my day-to-day in juggling multiple endeavors. I try to take one night a week (at least!) to relax and watch a show or do something fun with my husband. My family should count as a tool – my parents are amazing sounding boards and my brother is a huge source of joy for me.<hr>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<h5 style="text-align:center;">I firmly believe that my prayer time is mine alone, where my mind can have a breather and loosen its knots. I meditate afterward to clear out any heaviness. My faith has been an evolution.</h5>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<hr>Internally, my biggest grounding element is prayer. I’m the daughter of a Vedic scholar and priest, and my dad instilled knowledge that has been passed down for thousands of years, and rightfully so as it works! I firmly believe that my prayer time is mine alone, where my mind can have a breather and loosen its knots. I meditate afterward to clear out any heaviness. My faith has been an evolution. Like anyone in their twenties, I doubted certain practices, but it has been the greatest guiding force in my adult life and as I navigate starting my own family. When I’m miserable, prayer gives me hope. When I’m happy, it gives me gratitude. I can’t lose knowing that my future is divinely planned and that I am chasing exactly what I am meant to.Q: How would you define “living authentically”?AS:&nbsp;Contentment and faith that you’re living as you’re meant to.Q: What is the best advice or support you’ve received?AS:&nbsp;The best advice I’ve received is to stop viewing life as black and white. Nothing is a success. Nothing is a failure. They are simply steps on your path that direct you to your next stop. While I haven’t learned many of life’s lessons yet, I’m so thankful I learned this relatively young. Recognizing that every step you take is meant to be and not viewing them as a terminal move has led to less fear, more confidence, more risk, and more happiness. It’s led to more trust and more faith that I am always in good hands, because nothing will lead me where I’m not meant to go. And by not viewing things as extremes on two ends of the spectrum, I’ve found a lot of clarity, resilience, and stability in the middle of chaos. There is a lot less swinging between “This is awful!” and “This is amazing!” and a lot more, “This is where I’m meant to be. I’m content. Let’s keep moving.”<hr>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<h5 style="text-align:center;">Recognizing that every step you take is meant to be and not viewing them as a terminal move has led to less fear, more confidence, more risk, and more happiness. It’s led to more trust and more faith that I am always in good hands, because nothing will lead me where I’m not meant to go.</h5>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<hr>Q: Any advice for people who might be feeling a little stuck on their path?AS:&nbsp;Movement starts with one step. Make the doctor’s appointment. Call the friend. Send the cold email. Set aside ten minutes for yourself. Write a few words of your book. Start your podcast. Growth comes from pushing your own boundaries, and it doesn’t have to be as momentous as becoming a star in a movie or going cliff-diving. It can be much quieter and equally powerful.<hr>&nbsp;<hr>&nbsp;<h4 style="text-align:center;">Interviewed by MAMATA VENKAT Illustrations by ANANYA PATEL</h4>&nbsp;<hr>

Living authentically

Anon

A joke

Anonymous

The beauty of the world

Anthony J. D’angelo

The greatest gift

Antoine Denoix is the CEO of AXA Climate, an entity within the AXA Group established five years ago to address climate and environmental adaptation challenges. Antoine is also an accomplished author, with three books published by Dunod.

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Antoine Denoix

Regenerative business

Arati is an artist and a graphic designer by profession. She has worked in the corporate field and is presently working in the design team for the Heartfulness Magazine. She has also worked on media cover designs and illustrations for children's books.

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Arati Shedde

Arohi was born and brought up in Mumbai. She is passionate about penning poetry, and writing about things that resonate with her, parenting, and the soul. She currently pursues all forms of creative writing and can always be found enjoying a warm cup of tea.



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Arohi Bhimajiani

AROHI BHIMAJIANI writes about fear – how fears that develop at a young age can stay with us far into adulthood; and how her fear of dogs helped her to understand what helps us overcome fear.<hr>Fear. It takes a million forms, doesn’t it? Right from that ghost under the bed, to standing at the diving board edge; from being spurned in love to not being well to do. Fear is our mind playing games with us, making assumptions and predictions. Its roots spread deep within us and vertically evolve into dread, anxiety, and panic.It’s fascinating how these little seeds of fear are sown, and how they shoot up into the skies. Sometimes they mushroom and take on other shapes and forms.More often than not, fear can be traced back to childhood incidents. And often they involve the fear of losing love, life, money, status, standing, etc.How to let go of such deep-rooted fears?Letting go of fear is easier as a child, because our patterns haven’t yet become rigid. We are still impressionable. I suffered from fear of heights as a kid. I was a good swimmer, but every time I stood on the diving board and looked down, I saw hissing snakes and jelly legs! In that moment, my natural “good swimmer instinct” would vanish. Yet I would jump. And with each jump, the intensity of the fear reduced.Fear envelops every rational or instinctive feeling and replaces it with panic-stricken darts, most of which are baseless. As an adult, I find it so much harder to recognize fear and deal with it. Over the years, the layers of panic-stricken darts have only thickened. And yet I try.I was petrified of dogs ever since I was little. I am unable to trace the feeling back to anything concrete, but as soon as a dog drew close, my mind and body froze. The very thought of its warm wet nose and mouth coming close to my feet or heels had me screaming.For many years, I would not visit friends or family who had dogs unless they assured me that the dogs were on a leash. Generally, I preferred to meet them outside.Once, I was invited to a friend’s house, and as I entered I was greeted by a gorgeous ebony-black Doberman. She was taller than me, with bright eyes, sharp and alert. I was about to turn around and go, but something about her gaze was positively hypnotic. I attempted to hide behind my husband, while my uncle, sensing my fright, held back the frightening yet majestic one.I kept an eye on her, feeling paralyzed every time she’d enter the room. I was so full of fear that I could barely enjoy the conversations and the company. But, after some time, I was used to her walking around and started liking it. That’s when I got the fright of my life. She walked toward me and sat down on my feet. I froze. I was holding my breath to the point of fainting. I let it out, one puff at a time, praying that my heart would settle. I closed my eyes and began chanting a prayer until my breathing calmed down. As my hand untensed and hung loose, it in advertently rested on her abdomen.That’s when I felt shock number two. I was blown away by how she felt. Alive, breathing, silky soft, yet muscle-hard; it felt like I had touched another being for the first time. My hand moved up and down her length like a puppet pulled by strings. Her face was turned away from me, and yet I knew she was as present and connected with me in that moment as any living being in its purest form could be.Slowly the voices and room came into focus. What must have been a couple of seconds felt like a lifetime. I sat there for the rest of the evening, feeling both alive and at peace, sharing with this living being.I have never feared dogs since – regardless of their shape, size, and how loudly they bark. I no longer run screaming in the opposite direction. Rather I feel drawn to them and, fascinatingly, them to me.It simply took one pure soul to wrench the hardened ball of fear out of my gut. And maybe that is what we all need – a pure, unconditional loving relationship or shoulder, to help us transform our fears into a sense of love and peace. Or maybe to simply extend a caring hand to our scared selves, to hug it tightly and whisper sweet nothings until the fear is gone.Love is and will always be the antidote to fear.<hr><hr><h4>A pure, unconditional loving relationship or shoulder,&nbsp; to help us transform our fears into a sense of love and peace.</h4><hr>

Letting go of fear

<h4>
 AROHI
 BHIMAJIANI shares her experience of the
 power of prayer, and how it has helped her navigate the difficult periods in her life. She is also
 teaching the practice to her daughter.
</h4>



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Have you ever wondered if our prayers work? Have you ever wondered how they work?



I have witnessed my prayers come to life in the most fascinating ways. And it has simply left me in awe of the
 mechanisms of the universe.



I once experienced a severe falling out with my immediate family. The experience shattered every notion of love and
 unbreakable bonds I held deep within. It had me breaking down numerous times during the day, bringing me to my
 knees, praying tearfully.



I remember going about my days on autopilot with a constant sense of loss, pain, and misery. The world took on a
 permanent gray sheen. My anxiety manifested itself in the form of asthma. As I gasped for breath, I came to the
 conclusion that most physical ailments are rooted in psychological trauma.



There was one thing that kept me alive in those days, that helped me wake up and get through the day: my prayers.



I prayed with every fiber of my being. I prayed with an intensity that must have rocked the heavens. Every word
 crystal clear. I simply begged the universe to set things right. To help me recreate bonds of love stronger than
 before. I prayed with complete surrender and faith.



Slowly and steadily, over time, my relations improved. With equal efforts from all ends, frayed ties were lovingly
 mended. Deeper and firmer connections were established. The world took on its beautiful colors again.



I have attempted the same with my little girl. Every time she is faced with a challenge, or when circumstances look
 woeful, I nudge her to pray. She came to me crying the other day, because some kids were bullying her in school.
 They would mess up her table during the break and not clean up afterward. Complaining to the teacher hadn’t
 helped.



I asked her to pray, to ask the universe for strength to deal with the situation. After she had earnestly done so, I
 guided her to change her tone to being confident instead of complaining, and insist the children clean up.



It helped. The incident never repeated itself. I noticed how praying made her feel like she had gained a superpower
 to deal with an unpleasant situation or person. It transformed her from a meek, complaining child to an
 assertive one.



I have witnessed this miracle occurring innumerable times in the last 30 years of my life. And yet there is so much
 more to the miracle than meets the eye.



I realize that my prayers have manifested when:



<ul>
 <li>I wished with the purest intention, from the deepest recesses of my heart.</li>
 <li>I worked toward making the wish come true even though the odds seemed against me.</li>
 <li>There was no sense of time or shape attached.</li>
 <li>There was complete faith that it would come true.</li>
</ul>



Just praying and sitting back never helped. I had to show the universe that I was utterly serious about my intentions
 – that I worked hard for them, even though it looked like an unsurmountable mountain.



An astonishing discovery was that sometimes these wishes manifested in unexpected forms. Like when heartache leaves
 one desolate and one prays to feel whole again, love walks in with violins and roses from unexpected yet even
 more fulfilling people.



Prayer is one of the most powerful tools to attain stability and confidence. I do it with fervor. I put my entire
 heart into it. And I do it with complete faith that someone is carefully listening to every word I say. It is my
 solace and my happy place. It is a cup of tea, a warm blanket, a tight hug, and a blessing hand, all rolled into
 one. I hope every person out there is bestowed with its benevolence.&nbsp;



May we find the rhythm Of the soul song with the winds. May our prayers reverberate And rise magnificently
 to heaven’s gate.



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<h4 class="has-text-align-center">Prayer is one of the most powerful tools to attain stability and
 confidence. I do it with fervor. I put my entire heart into it. And I do it with complete faith
 that someone is carefully listening to every word I say. </h4>



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My soul song

Arulkumar Selvaraj is a designer and digital animator. He makes movies, short films and TV series. He loves to read and write poetry, paint, play badminton and draw cartoons. He also loves to spend time with family and close friends, and in Nature. He practises Heartfulness meditation, which he believes will lead him towards infinity, serving the purpose of this life.


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Arul Kumar Selvaraj

Aryaan is a young Indian- American actor, musician, composer, and social media personality, who is known for the legal drama Bull, the musical Bhangin It and the film Deli Boy. He is also the Founder and CEO of The Arora Company, a US-based Public Relations and Marketing Consultancy Firm.

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