Stanislas is a civil servant of the Foreign Affairs Ministry of France. He has worked in many countries and enjoys making meditation fashionable wherever he goes. He has developed a course on the science of meditation for universities and corporates.

Stanislas.jpg

Stanislas Lajugie

<h4>STANISLAS LAJUGIE explores modern psychological theories of managing emotions, and even better, how to let go of our past emotional patterns and step into a simpler, happier future through meditative practices.</h4><hr>Are you super smart, successful in many aspects of life, but your heart is unhappy? When this happens, all your achievements will not be satisfying enough.Or let’s take another example: have you tried to take a decision while feeling angry, jealous, fearful, or even euphoric? One single emotion and your entire thinking process is in jeopardy!Emotions play a central role in our lives for better or for worse.Modern times require that we learn to manage our emotions to navigate with an even keel through life’s ups and downs. We will explore how to move toward emotional regulation, and even step into the future of emotions!<h4>Emotional Regulation</h4>In the 1990s, Peter Salovey from Yale University described emotional intelligence (EI) as “The ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.”Daniel Goleman popularized EI and classified it into 5 components:<ul><li>Self-awareness</li><li>Self-management</li><li>Motivation</li><li>Empathy</li><li>Social skills</li></ul>Awareness – <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/the-foundation-of-exceptional-listening-state-of-being" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">self-awareness</a>, awareness of the others, and awareness of the environment – is at the core the 5 components of EI. This means being aware and adapting to the situation. The quality of awareness and the capacity to adapt were praised by Daniel Goleman in his book Emotional Intelligence, Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (1995), which has been a treasure in all professional environments.In essence, this type of emotional intelligence, which is very useful, consists in managing emotions that have arisen in the past, that are affecting our behavior in the present.Heartfulness proposes a different approach: to neutralize the past conditioning and step into the future of emotions.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/future_of_emotions2_608271f3f0.jpg?updated_at=2023-03-27T09:50:22.146Z" alt=""><hr><h4>Step into the Future of Emotions</h4>What does that mean? Let me give you an example. A while back, I had to meet a customer in another part of the city. I was running late, drove fast, and had a car accident. It shocked me. The next day, I had to drive, and the fear of driving was there. I drove slowly, but manage to reach safely. And the next day, it was the same. The next month also. After a month, I nearly forgot about this fear. So, my concept of fear evolved based on a series of new “past” experiences.The theory of how emotions work has been debated for decades by psychologists, neuroscientists, philosophers, and evolutionary biologists. In essence, some postulate that emotions are innate, that a particular area of the brain is associated with a particular emotion, while recent research supported by neuroimaging technologies reveals that our mind connects different parts of our brain to make sense of emotions based on past experiences. So our emotional understanding is based on past experiences and emotions.Now, if they are constructed, they can be also deconstructed. Our emotional concepts can be tweaked and changed by new experiences.Here is the beauty of the brain and meditative practices. For the brain, whether I have my eyes open or closed, experiences have the same impact on brain changes. What does it mean? I can intentionally close my eyes, practice the Heartfulness Cleaning technique to tweak, transform and master my emotional concepts. I don’t have to wait for new experiences, or be a victim to past emotions. I can step into the future of emotions!<h4>Can You also Step into Your Future Self?</h4>In this question, Lisa Feldman Barrett is referring to a Buddhist notion of the “self” as a false construct, a clinging to a set of ideas that are made up. She suggests that by tweaking the ideas we have about ourselves, and changing predictions, it is possible not only to change future experience but also to change our “self.” Barrett goes on to say that if you are interested in doing this, try meditation.Heartfulness Cleaning gives us a means to remove our emotional burden and gain <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/the-art-of-gratitude" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">emotional balance</a>. Heartfulness meditation, which focuses on the source of light emanating from our being, can allow us also to heighten our quality of existence to the highest levels.As Otto Scharmer and Bill O’Brien once discussed, “The success of an intervention depends on the interior condition of the intervener. … What counts is not only what leaders do and how they do it, but also their “interior condition” – that is, their inner source.” They are speaking of the quality of consciousness.<hr><hr><h4>Heartfulness Cleaning gives us a means&nbsp; to remove our emotional burden and gain emotional balance.</h4><hr><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/future_of_emotions3_4fc194fe0a.jpg?updated_at=2023-03-27T09:51:44.806Z" alt=""><hr><h4>Having ways to make sense of negative emotions,&nbsp; and how to respond to them, seems to result in an&nbsp; increased capacity for emotional regulation.</h4><hr><hr><h4>Emotional Granulation</h4>Research suggests that higher emotional granularity, that is, the ability to distinguish the specificity of emotions, results in increased capacity for emotional regulation, which is particularly important when it comes to managing negative emotional situations.Kashdan, Barrett and McKnight (2015) share a study where a fear of spiders was treated using three different approaches:<ol><li>Cognitive re-appraisal where participants were taught to describe spiders in a non-threatening way, e.g., “Sitting in front of me is a little spider and it’s safe.”</li><li>Distraction, where participants pay attention to something unrelated to their fear of spiders.</li><li>Categorization of sensations with greater granularity, e.g., “In front of me is an ugly spider, and it is disgusting, nerve-racking and yet intriguing.”</li></ol>The third approach was found to be the most effective in helping people with a fear of spiders to observe and approach spiders. Research suggests that higher emotional granularity has positive benefits, particularly in situations that engender negative emotions. Having ways to make sense of negative emotions, and how to respond to them, seems to result in an increased capacity for emotional regulation.Lisa Feldman also observed that noting down positive experiences, and enriching our vocabulary of positive emotions, supports the weaving of a positive mindset.Heartfulness journaling supports the development of this capacity to observe and enrich our vocabulary of experience, especially if we pay more attention to feelings as prescribed in the Heartfulness practices.<hr>

Step into the future of emotions

<h4
 id="h-stanislas-lajugie-is-a-diplomat-and-a-heartfulness-practitioner-and-trainer-he-specializes-in-offering-corporate-programs-on-science-and-meditation-and-shares-with-us-here-how-meditation-can-help-beat-stress"
 >
 STANISLAS LAJUGIE
 is a diplomat and a Heartfulness practitioner and trainer. He
 specializes in offering corporate programs on “Science and
 Meditation,” and shares with us here how meditation can help beat
 stress.
 </h4>

 <hr class="vertical-space1" />

 
 I am sure everyone knows what stress is, yet I would like to propose the
 following definition: stress is a state of mental and/or emotional
 strain due to external or internal circumstances. It doesn’t mean that
 stress is negative. Actually, we need stress. But we only need positive
 stress, the good stress.
 

 
 We call this positive stress “eustress.” Responding to positive stress
 helps to increase our focus and concentration, our capacity to engage
 and perform well, and even create a feeling of satisfaction and
 happiness, since we are performing well.
 

 
 The problem starts when we are exposed to very high levels of stress or
 for very long periods of time. Then, eustress becomes distress, and it
 is harmful. Before understanding how distress is harmful, let’s look at
 the different types of stress.
 

 <h4>
 Types of Stress
 </h4>

 
 The first type of stress is the “to do list.”
 It is when we feel the pressure to complete a certain number of tasks in
 a limited timeframe. Remember post-it notes?
 

 
 The second type of stress is caused by a sudden accident or fearful
 event.
 It may be dropping a cup of coffee, bumping into someone, or a car
 accident.&nbsp;
 

 
 The third type of stress is due to deep fear or trauma
 – perhaps a serious sporting accident, a war, the loss of a loved one,
 abuse, etc.
 

 
 The cause of the trauma does not even have to be a real physical event.
 Many are symbolic, like meeting your boss, seeing your dentist, the fear
 of speaking in public, the fear of being abandoned, the fear of not
 being loved, or the fear of being judged by others.
 

 
 The fourth type of stress is the fear of not being able to cope with
 the increasing speed or bombardment of life. We are exposed to more demands, more responsibilities, more noise,
 fewer resources, less time, and less money. And we are expected to have
 a smile on our face all the time!
 

 
 We are often continuously exposed to multiple types of stress, resulting
 in a chronic stress condition, which is very harmful to our well-being.
 

 <h4>
 Stress, Health, and Well-being
 </h4>

 
 Research shows that people who are stressed are less likely to have
 healthy eating habits and to exercise, and are more likely to smoke.
 According to the American Institute of Health, 75-90% of all visits to
 the doctor are for stress-related problems. The American Institute of
 Stress estimates that work stress accounts for 52% of stress, 28% is
 from personal problems, and the remaining 20% is from juggling between
 personal and professional lives.
 

 
 No wonder the WHO has declared stress as the epidemic of the 21st
 century! The European agency ESENER has reported that 79% of managers
 are concerned about stress in their workplaces, but fewer than 30% have
 procedures in place to deal with the psychosocial risks. The most common
 causes of work-related stress are job insecurity (72% of respondents),
 long working hours or excessive workload (66%), and being bullied or
 harassed at work (59%).
 

 
 43% of the costs due to stress are direct: sick leave and accidents. 57%
 are indirect, such as brain drain – all the intelligent people leaving
 the company.&nbsp;&nbsp; Another interesting phenomenon is
 “presenteesm.” The employee is there, sitting behind his desk, but they
 are not performing!
 

 <h4>
 The Problem
 </h4>

 
 There is no magic pill you can take to remove stress, but I believe that
 there is a simple solution for this big problem.It is in understanding
 the biology of stress, and then using simple techniques to reverse the
 process.
 

 
 When our senses capture and identify a significant threat, we adopt the
 fight-or-flight response, which is triggered by the amygdala in our
 midbrain. Then there is a chemical reaction, which has three
 consequences:
 

 
 First, the blood of the viscera is pushed to the periphery
 – to the limbs – to boost the energy in the arms and the legs, to “fight
 or fly.” It also means that the inner organs are now living on their own
 energy reserves, which are also limited.
 

 
 Second, the immune system is on hold.
 Therefore, we have a higher propensity to fall sick, especially in
 stressful moments.
 

 
 Third, the blood in the brain moves to the more primitive
 parts,
 especially the amygdala, rather than the prefrontal cortex, which is
 dedicated to rational thinking, analysis, and decision making.
 

 
 To put it in one sentence:
 My brain CEO goes AWOL!
 I am simply unable to think. Not because I don’t have the intelligence,
 the knowledge, the expertise, and the experience, but because my brain
 is not in a position to think! Research from Yale reports that
 continuous exposure to high levels of stress also affects our memory.
 

 <h4>
 The Solution
 </h4>

 
 The simple technique of
 <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmwqL34FCjA"
 >Heartfulness Relaxation</a
 >
 can help. By relaxing all the limbs of the body, we return to a neutral
 and natural state of functioning. We focus on the heart, which brings a
 state of psychophysiological coherence – coherence between the mind and
 body of the person – which is optimal for functioning.
 

 
 By connecting with the heart, we also establish heart–brain coherence,
 which is very conducive to higher cognitive activities, according to
 research.
 

 <hr class="vertical-space1" />

 <hr />

 <h4 class="has-text-align-center">
 By connecting with the heart, we also establish heart–brain coherence, which is very conducive to higher cognitive activities, according to research.&nbsp;
 </h4>

 <hr />

 <hr class="vertical-space1" />

 
 But the benefits of meditation are much greater. The research of Dr.
 Richard Davidson also shows that people who are stressed develop brain
 circuitries&nbsp; similar to people who are depressed. They are related
 to the right prefrontal cortex. These people tend to always focus on the
 negative, ruminating on the same types of thoughts. In contrast, happy
 people and meditators develop brain circuitries related to the left
 prefrontal cortex, which plays a critical role in emotional
 intelligence. They are able to disregard negative information and keep
 their attention on the activities they choose.
 

 
 To sum up, stress is very much a part of our daily life, affecting our
 physical health, our brain functioning, and the way we think. How
 healthy are our choices in how we use it and respond to it?
 

 <hr class="vertical-space1" />

 <hr />

 <h4 class="has-text-align-center">Illustrations by LAKSHMI GADDAM</h4>

 <hr />

Stress

<h4>STAN LAJUGIE explores decision-making, and how to keep getting better at it. The results may surprise you, as the biology shows that not much of it depends on thinking!</h4><hr>Forrest Gump is the story of a fairly simple man; so simple that people often thought he was stupid and made fun of him. He loved running and chocolate, and if we look at his entire life, he only took good decisions! He always followed his heart. As Idriss Aberkane says in Free Your Brain, can we say that a person who only takes good decisions in their life is stupid? No, right? At the same time, we can see many intelligent people taking wrong decisions! So, we come to understand that decision-making is not about thinking. It is about feeling.Decision-making is a critical aspect of our lives. At work, we are paid to make decisions, and the decisions we make design our destiny. Our mind is a critical instrument for making decisions, but very few people pay attention to the process. To understand the biology of decision-making, here is an overview of the 4 steps:<h4>1. Security check – quick and dirty</h4>First the information is checked by the mammalian brain, especially the amygdala, the part of the midbrain that is in charge of identifying threats and opportunities. Simply put: am I going to be eaten, or am I going to eat?When there is perceived danger, the amygdala triggers the fight-or-flight response, which Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional Intelligence, calls an amygdala hijacking. The limbic brain overrides all other parts of the brain to mobilize maximum resources for attack or defense. The blood moves to the limbs and the mid and back parts of the brain, not to the prefrontal cortex, the CEO brain, which is dedicated to analysis and rational thinking. As a result, reactions and outbursts replace rational thought. Thus, decisions taken during or soon after an amygdala hijacking are likely to be based upon strong emotions not rational thinking. Someone who is operating mostly from this state of mind can be described as a reactive-compulsive decision-maker.When the situation is safe, we move to the second stage of decision making.2. Analysis and rational thinking – intelligent and slowThe information passes to the prefrontal cortex, where we evaluate all the pros and cons of the situation. This is where we harness all our rational and analytical capacities. Deep thinking demands a focused mind. The more distracted we are, the shallower our reflections. The shorter our reflections, the more trivial they are likely to be. A reader’s mind typically wanders anywhere from 20% to 40% of the time while reading a text. Not surprisingly, the more our mind wanders, the worse the comprehension (Daniel Goleman, Focus).Besides, the rational thinking process is very slow! In the “Iowa Gambling Task” (Bechara et al., Science 1997), participants were told to gamble with four decks of cards. Secretly, two were biased so that they would tend to win, and the other two so that they would tend to lose. Throughout the game, their Skin Conductance Response was measured, and every 20 cards the experimenters asked participants what they knew about the game, and how they felt about it.Here is what they observed:<ul><li>After 80 cards, participants had observed that two of the decks were better than average and two were worse than average.</li><li>After 50 cards, participants expressed a hunch, a feeling that they liked two of the decks more than the other two.</li><li>After 10 to 30 cards, participants sweated more when reaching for the bad decks than when reaching for the good decks. They began to pick more from the good decks, even though they didn’t give any indication that they were consciously aware of the nature of the game or their shifting behavior when asked.</li></ul><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/was_forrest_gump_stupid2_700x567_3c5043a732.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T11:12:12.095Z" alt=""><hr>Conclusion: we are capable of having physiological responses and feelings that change our behavior even before we are consciously aware of them. Conscious thinking and understanding is slow.In the professional world, too much emphasis on decision-making can lead to analysis-paralysis. This is inefficient and delays decisions! It requires a third step.3. Inner knowing – authentic and unspokenDecision-making does not stop at the prefrontal cortex. It requires a third step to confirm the information, or the decision, with our inner knowing. Different parts of the limbic brain may be involved, including the brainstem, the basal ganglia, the hypothalamus, the anterior cingulate, and/or the insulate.Daniel Goleman highlights that the best business decisions are not based on the numbers and facts available, but on something beyond. It requires that we tune into the brain circuitry that manages our entire life’s wisdom and emotions. The tricky part is that this circuitry does not connect to the parts of the brain that think in words. They give instructions through feelings. So, in order to make a good decision, we need to tap into our feelings. This is often what people call their gut feeling.What if our mind is too busy, with too many thoughts, or just wanders here and there? What if we are not trained to pay attention to feelings? How will we listen to our inner voice of wisdom and take good decisions?4. Wisdom and intuition – wise and wizardResearch by Dr. Igor Grossman shows that self-distancing practices such as meditation on an abstract object, like the source of light in the heart, is conducive to wise reasoning. Heart-based meditation leads to heart-brain coherence, which is conducive to higher cognitive activities. When we practice a self-distancing meditation, we recognize the limits of our knowledge, and the possibility of change. As a result, we consider others’ perspectives, and search for ways to integrate these perspectives. Decisions are wiser and more sustainable.Other studies from Rollin McCraty, Ph.D., and Dean Radin, Ph.D., show that the heart plays an important role in intuition. The heart responds 1.5 seconds before the brain does, and indeed before any other part of the body. Even more surprisingly, the heart responds on average 4.6 seconds before the stimulus itself! This is called precognition, as it appears as a sixth sense, responding before the five senses perceive, and before thinking happens.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/was_forrest_gump_stupid3_700x567_ace9af07c0.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T11:14:01.195Z" alt=""><hr>To sum up, we have seen the main 4 stages of decision-making. In a nutshell, decision is mostly about feeling. Heart-based meditation not only sensitizes us to feeling, but also supports wisdom and intuition, improving decision-making skills.We are often told that in the world of competition there is no place for feelings and the heart. Well, biology says otherwise!<hr><hr><h4>Illustrations by ANANYA PATEL</h4><hr>

Was Forrest Gump stupid?

<h4>STAN LAJUGIE explains the science behind focus and attention, and the role of meditation in helping us develop these vital mental skills.</h4><hr>When we focus on one object, the brain mobilizes its resources to identify the target. Once identified, it has its aha moment, and it requires time to redirect them toward the next activity or target. This is called the attentional blink.Helen Slagter at the University of Amsterdam found out that a 3-month intensive meditation course can shorten the attentional blink and improve the accuracy of attention. This suggests that meditation can help in developing a high level of awareness and a greater capacity to manage our limited resource of attention. This was observed when performing both repetitive and new tasks, meaning mental agility.<h4>Unfocused 50% of the time</h4>Richard Davidson found: during sharp focus, key circuits of the prefrontal cortex synchronize with the object of attention1 in a state he calls “phase-locking.” As we focus on what we are learning, the brain maps that information onto what we already know, making new neural connections. We become more efficient at understanding, learning, and memorization.The ability to stay focused on one target and ignore everything else is due to the brain’s prefrontal circuitry, which boosts the strength of incoming signals to concentrate on what we want and dampens those we choose to ignore. Also, focus demands that we tune out our emotional distractions. So those who focus best are relatively immune to emotional turbulence, and remain unflustered in a crisis.Whereas, when we lack focus, we store no memory of what we are learning. We are also more prone to mental or emotional agitation.A research study done in 2010 by Killingsworth and Gilbert2 found that:<ul><li>47% of the time participants of his study were doing one thing, but thinking of something else, drifting into mind wandering.</li><li>People were less happy when their mind was wandering than when they were not.</li><li>It is not unhappiness which makes us unfocused, but lack of focus which leads to unhappiness.</li></ul>Let’s try to understand why.<h4>Negative by default</h4>Neuroscientists have discovered that when people are doing nothing in particular, their brains are still very active. It is the autopilot mode of the brain known as the Default Mode Network (DMN). The DMN is associated with:Self-referencing: personal information and memories, future goals, and events. In short, me, myself and mine, worrying what I have done or what I should do.Social comparison: me and others, wondering what others think of me, or what would they think of me, if am I better or they are better, etc.Rumination: repetition of the same thoughts.Do you sometimes see yourself in that state?No wonder a wandering mind causes unhappiness! Our thoughts may not be our friends!<h4>Mental training</h4>While it is good to be able to focus well, sometimes being too focused can be an obstacle. We may miss the trees for the forest. To understand how this works, watch the video at <a href="https://youtu.be/ubNF9QNEQLA">https://youtu.be/ubNF9QNEQLA</a>.Regular practice of meditation supports both the development of high-resolution focus and the ability to zoom out to a broader perspective. The ability to switch between micro and macro is important. This is the type of awareness that we naturally develop in Heartfulness Meditation.Meta-attention is our awareness of paying attention. After directing the attention to one object, we may have difficulties holding it there, as it may drift away. With awareness of that attention we can gently bring it back to our original activity. And this is exactly what we practice during meditation.Judson Brewer found that the DMN is less active during meditation, enabling a greater ability to refrain from worrying.He also found that the DMN was easily deactivated when practicing meta-attention or focusing on feelings, which also develops naturally in the Heartfulness practice as we bring our attention to the heart.Even better, in regular meditators, the DMN was not only deactivated during meditation but also after the practice, which suggests a change in baseline brain activity.During meditation, we activate parts of the brain related to sensing, feeling, and being in the present moment. We are free of mind-wandering thoughts and fully engage in what we are doing. This supports performance and a sense of happiness.<hr><hr><h4>During meditation, we activate parts of the brain&nbsp; related to sensing, feeling, and being in the present moment.&nbsp; We are free of mind-wandering thoughts and fully&nbsp; engage in what we are doing. This supports&nbsp; performance and a sense of happiness.</h4><hr><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thoughts_friends2_3b0e1bf5c3.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-13T06:42:29.118Z" alt=""><hr>In other words, we change our daily consciousness from an “interpretive world” of worrying about the past or future, interpreting what others think, and ruminating on these concerns, to an “experiential world” with our attention grounded in the present, moment to moment, experiencing what is happening.The suspension of mind chatter frees us from worries of all sorts, and allows us to fully focus on the present moment and performing our activities. This leads to a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness.To sum up, focus is at the base of performance and mental and emotional stability.Unfortunately, it is easy to be unfocused nearly 50% of the time, and this mind wandering leads to a sense of unhappiness.Fortunately, meditation helps us to turn off this default functioning of the brain, so that we are present in the moment. Heartfulness practices support such transformation as it naturally trains us to develop focused attention, meta-attention, and tuning in to our feelings.<hr><hr>1 Goleman, D., 2013. Focus, The Hidden Driver of Excellence, Harper USA.2 Killingsworth, M.A. and D.T. Gilbert, 2010. A wandering mind is an unhappy mind, Science, Nov 12, 330 (6006): 932.

Are your thoughts your friends?

<hr><h4>STANISLAS LAJUGIE challenges the myth that we make most of the decisions in our lives. Why do we keep encountering similar circumstances, relationships, and problems in life? Why is it so difficult to change our behavior? He explains why, and also how we can transform ourselves.</h4><hr><h4>Who Is Running the Show? Your Conscious Mind or Your Subconscious Mind?</h4>In his book, The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter and Miracles, Dr. Bruce Lipton explains that 95% of our daily cognitive activities and decisions are managed by our subconscious minds, meaning that only 5% are managed by our conscious minds. One reason is because the prefrontal cortex, the part of our brain dedicated to attention and conscious awareness, is only a small part of our brain, which can process only a limited amount of information. Translated into data, it can process the equivalent of 40 bits/second, while the subconscious mind can process 40 millions bits/second. Quantitatively, the subconscious is one million times more powerful!And the subconscious mind is mostly formed during the first six years of life, whereas the development of the prefrontal cortex is not complete until the age of twenty-five. The <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/on-cleaning" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">subconscious mind</a> acts like a hard disk, downloading all the information we absorb from around us. This process is dependent to a large extent on external circumstances. Actually, at that young age there is no faculty to discriminate, as the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed. Therefore, aware or not, willing or not, good or bad, whatever comes is recorded. And the information we receive in that stage of super learning determines our belief system. This becomes the basis of the subconscious mind or the operating system from which our conscious mind operates.<h4>What Is the Power of Positive Thinking?</h4>Dr. Lipton invites us to do the mathematics:<ul><li>95% of decisions versus 5%; and</li><li>40 millions bits/sec capacity of processing information versus 40 bits/sec.</li></ul>So to be consciously positive is not very powerful, because the subconscious mind can always control or sabotage our intentions.Even when we consciously have a positive thought, like “I want to be healthy, successful, happy,and have a fulfilling relationship,” who is really pulling the strings? The subconscious mind.What if our early childhood environment was not positive? What if we were told, “Don’t do this,” “Don’t do that,” “You don’t deserve it, you are not good enough,” and these are now our subconscious beliefs?And, do you want to live a life governed by a subconscious mind that was mostly built during the first six to seven years of life, and was deeply influenced by external circumstances?<h4>Negativity. Is It Worth It?</h4>To add fuel to the fire, we are wired to be negative, as we explored in “<a href="https://www.heartfulnessmagazine.com/are-your-thoughts-your-friends/">Are Your Thoughts Your Friends?</a>” Negativity sticks to the brain, while positivity flows like water through the brain. The amygdala, which plays a key role in our defense system, is primed to label experiences negatively. It takes five positive experiences to undo a negative one. People will do more to avoid loss than receive gain. We update our appraisal with information that confirms these negative experiences. We ignore, devalue, or alter information.On top of this, our modern environment is becoming ever more stressful and violent. There is an increasing exposure to violence through multimedia. The American Academy of Pediatrics estimates that by the age of 18 the average young person will have viewed around200,000 acts of violence on television – clearly not so supportive for building a positive subconscious mind!In his book, If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?, Dr. Raj Raghunathan found that 60 to 70% of his students’ spontaneous thoughts were negative, even though 60 to 75% of them expected their thoughts to be positive!On average, we have 70,000 thoughts a day. If 70% of them are negative, that means one negative thought every 2 seconds! Would that not affect our consciousness,decisions, and the ways we interact with other people?We can all ponder over our childhood.Whether or not we were lucky enough to have a positive joyful childhood,we can all learn how to bring about positive deep inner transformation.<hr><hr><h4>Whether or not we were lucky enough to have a positive joyful childhood,&nbsp; we can all learn how to bring about positive deep inner transformation.</h4><hr><hr><h4>Keys for Inner Transformation</h4>Returning to Dr. Lipton, he fortunately mentions some ways to remodel our subconscious mind:<ul><li>Heightened awareness to realize the play of the conscious and subconscious mind, e.g.through hypnosis,</li><li>Developing new habits, as the subconscious mind learns through repetitive actions day after day,</li><li>A strong will: every time we become aware of a situation, we can willfully move toward the direction desired, and</li><li>Meditation.</li></ul><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/who_is_running_the_show2_8b53612fcc.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-26T08:33:32.659Z" alt=""><hr>He also highlights the effectiveness of bedtime meditation as prescribed in the Heartfulness practices. Just before sleeping, we naturally access our subconscious mind. By meditating on the heart, we immerse ourselves in heartful meditative states, inviting our subconscious mind to absorb the feelings and qualities of the heart – love, compassion, courage, tolerance, respect, appreciation, generosity, kindness, patience, etc. – and this continues throughout the night while we sleep. We give ourselves a chance to enrich our subconscious mind with values and beliefs that support conscious positive thoughts.If you sleep eight hours a day in a life of 80 years, that is 26 years of sleep! The practice of bedtime meditation will utilize that time to enrich the mind to your best advantage and well-being!To put it a different way, if you want authentic conscious living, be happy, joyous, and positive. Make your subconscious mind your friend!<hr><hr><h4>Illustrations from RAWPIXEL.COM</h4><hr>

Who is really running the show?

<hr><h4>STANISLAS LAJUGIE explains how we can cultivate the habit of happiness, even though our nervous system is wired for negativity. He gives us 3 simple steps to cultivate a happier disposition.</h4><hr>Let me ask this question: 10 things happened to you today – 9 good, one bad. Which one do you remember and share with your family members once you are back home? The bad one, right?Negativity sticks to the brain, while positivity flows like water through the brain. Hence, happiness may not always be natural or easy to cultivate. We need to learn to take in the good! You can watch this <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foYqdGapEuI">video</a> by Dr. Rick Hanson to learn more about this.<h4>40% Margin of Happiness</h4>Sonja Lyubomirksy, Distinguished Professor, University of California, Riverside, defined happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”1She conducted a meta-analysis of over 200 studies on the effects of happiness, and observed that happy people have stronger health, longer life, and better careers; plus they are more creative, have stronger relationships, and even have healthier cultures and communities.If happiness is so beneficial, she wondered why we are not excelling in it! In her article, “Pursuing Happiness: The Architecture of Sustainable Change,”2 she found that:<ul><li>50% of happiness comes from our genetic baseline, i.e. how predisposed we are to happiness. This is related to biological and personality traits which do not change much through life. We cannot do much about them.</li><li>Only 10% comes from external factors, e.g. our health, bank account, relationships, new phone or tablet, new boss, etc. That surprisingly low percentage is due to the phenomenon of habituation. We tend to revert to our happiness baseline, whether an important good or bad event happens to us. For instance, if you win the lottery, you will tend to come back to the same level of happiness after one year.</li><li>40% comes from intentional activity, i.e. our choices. Thus, the quality of our mindset is responsible for 40% of our happiness. This is actually where we can contribute to a happy life.</li></ul><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/create_habit_happiness2_3bf718f3f5.jpg" alt="create-the-habit-of-happiness">&nbsp;<hr><hr><h4>Whether or not we were lucky enough to have a positive joyful childhood,&nbsp; we can all learn how to bring about positive deep inner transformation.</h4><hr><hr>While most people spend the majority of their time improving their material life, which is accountable for only 10% of happiness, we have a 40%margin of happiness that is dependent on our choices.We cannot take happiness for granted! Happiness is intentional, effortful, and trainable. How can we develop this mindset and cultivate the habit of happiness?<h4>Learn to Take in the Good</h4>Dr. Rick Hanson explains that the brain has the natural tendency to retain negative experiences and forget positive ones as a survival mechanism. Therefore simple positive thinking strategies are not the answer.Neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to change its structure and functioning due to its activities. Positive neuroplasticity consists in intentionally engaging in those activities that develop positive changes of the brain. In short, we need to learn to take in the good!In his book, Hardwiring Happiness,3 Hanson suggests 3 steps to ensure long-lasting transformation and to learn to take in the good:Pause: take distance from negative information. Focus: on positive experience and let in positive feelings. Absorb: savor the experience by feeling the thoughts, emotions and sensations associated with the positive experience.The longer that experience is held in awareness, and the more emotionally stimulating it is, the more neurons wire-in those pathways. By letting the moments spread across the emotional and mind-body system, small shifts are created, and overtime this weaves positive experiences into the fabric of the brain.This is exactly what we are doing in the Heartfulness practices. We meditate on the heart, and this trains the brain to absorb positive feelings and experiences associated with the heart – love, compassion, care, kindness, appreciation, harmony, patience, courage, and many more qualities that support happiness.We may only have a 40% margin of happiness, so let’s take up that opportunity. We can cultivate the habit of happiness.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/create_habit_happiness4_c06ec92baf.jpg" alt="create-the-habit-of-happiness">&nbsp;<hr><hr><h4>We meditate on the heart, and this trains the brain to absorb positive feelings&nbsp; and experiences associated with the heart – love, compassion, care, kindness,&nbsp; appreciation, harmony, patience, courage, and many more qualities&nbsp; that support happiness.</h4><hr><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/create_habit_happiness3_e0da34f079.jpg" alt="create-the-habit-of-happiness">&nbsp;<hr>1 Lyubomirsky, S., 2007. The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Penguin Putnam, USA.2 <a href="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/LSS_2005_fcaf27a724.pdf">https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/LSS_2005_fcaf27a724.pdf</a>3 Hanson, R., 2013. Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence. Harmony, USA.<hr>

Create the habit of happiness

<h4>STANISLAS LAJUGIE offers us some very clear research on sleep hygiene, explains why it’s important to get a restful night’s sleep, and definitely convinces us that it’s not a good idea to miss a few hours.</h4><h4>A good night’s sleep or a nightmare day</h4>Sleep is the silent hero. Executive thinking, characterized by nimble mental processes, adaptability, and innovation, depends upon the rejuvenating embrace of sleep.Yet, sadly, the significance of sleep is often underestimated in our modern education systems and professional lives, both the quantity and quality, though history repeatedly reminds us how sleep deprivation can have extreme effects on our health and mind. In fact, it has been used as a form of torture throughout history.In 16th century Scotland, at the height of the witch-hunts, women who allegedly practiced witchcraft were captured and put on trial. The hunters needed a confession before a conviction, and thus “waking the witch” was born. Accused women were deprived of sleep for days, after which they would begin to hallucinate and experience psychotic episodes. Their “talk” was recorded as confessions.&nbsp;During World War II, the Japanese operated approximately 175 camps where sleep deprivation and other torture methods were used to extract information from both military personnel and civilians, while the British Army had the London Cage, a well-known center for interrogating prisoners of war, which used various harsh techniques, including sleep deprivation. During apartheid, South Africa used sleep deprivation as a torture method until 1994, and the U.S. military allegedly until 2009.&nbsp;So, sleep deprivation has a long history as both a means of interrogation and a form of torture. Some groups have reframed it as an “enhanced interrogation technique.” Despite not leaving physical marks, the United Nations recognizes it as a form of torture, defining torture as causing “physical or mental” pain or suffering. Sleep deprivation can lead to hallucinations, psychosis, schizophrenia, and the utterance of irrational statements, making it a concerning and inhumane practice.While witch-hunts stopped, sleep deprivation has widely spread across the globe.1 The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) describes sleep deprivation as a “public health epidemic,” with an estimated 50 to 70 million adults in the United States with chronic sleep and wakefulness disorders. A recent study in the Netherlands found 27.3% (21.2% of males and 33.2% of females) reporting that they had some type of sleep disorder. Polling based on a validated questionnaire revealed that 32% complained of experiencing general sleep disturbances while 43.2% said they suffered from insufficient sleep. Throughout developed nations, two-thirds of adults fail to attain the recommended seven to eight hours of sleep a night. Sleep disorders afflict approximately 50% of individuals over the age of 55, impairing both the initiation and maintenance of sleep.2&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:75%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/why_wake_witch2_ac896739a0.webp" alt="why-wake-witch2.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_why_wake_witch2_ac896739a0.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_why_wake_witch2_ac896739a0.webp 437w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/why_wake_witch2_ac896739a0.webp 437w," sizes="100vw"></figure><h4>Every hour counts!&nbsp;</h4>Why wake the witch and torture yourself? Change of lifestyle and lack of good information on sleep could be the reasons, at a heavy cost! Let’s venture into the repercussions of sleep deprivation that infiltrate all facets of our being.&nbsp;1. What is the impact of being deprived of one hour of sleep?&nbsp;An annual global experiment called “daylight saving time,” involving 1.5 billion people across 70 nations, provides a stark hint. Each year, on the Monday after clocks spring forward, hospitals see a 24% surge in heart attacks. The reverse occurs in the fall, with heart attacks dropping by 21%, offering the gift of an extra hour’s sleep.3&nbsp;There was an experiment in a U.S. school that shifted the start time from 7:25 a.m. to 8:30 a.m., which meant that students enjoyed 43 additional minutes of sleep. Their standardized test scores (SATs) improved by eight to 25%.42. What could happen if you sleep six hours a night?&nbsp;If the average sleeping time is eight hours (from the seven to nine hours normally advised by the World Health Organization), this is equivalent to a shortfall of two hours. The Surrey Sleep Research Center5 found that 711 genes were disrupted in students who slept for six hours per night for one week, compared with those enjoying a solid eight-and-a-half hours sleep. Among these, half surged into overactivity, including genes linked to chronic inflammation (a precursor to cancer), cellular stress, and factors fostering cardiovascular illnesses. On the flip side, genes fostering stable metabolism and optimal immune responses were stifled.3. What about five hours of sleep a night?&nbsp;Research6 from the University of Chicago unveiled that when healthy young males were limited to five hours of sleep weekly, they experienced a stark reduction in testosterone production and testicle size. This alteration effectively aged them ten to fifteen years in terms of virility. Diminished testosterone not only dampened sexual activity, but also invited fatigue, hampering focus and mental acuity. Women weren’t spared either, as less than six hours sleep a night disrupted hormone production vital for menstruation and fertility, even elevating fertility problems by 80% due to erratic schedules.4. What about four hours of sleep a night?&nbsp;Dr. Michael Irwin from the University of California7 observed that a solitary night of four hours’ sleep eradicated 70% of natural killer cells circulating in the immune system. Imagine the toll after a week, not to mention months or years of sleep deprivation.5. No sleep at all for a night?&nbsp;Randy Gartner is from San Diego, California. He holds the world record of time without sleep from 1964 when he 17 years old, for a period of 11 days 24 minutes!&nbsp;Missing 24 hours of sleep can lead to effects similar to a blood alcohol concentration of 0.10 percent, impairing decision-making, judgment, perception, memory, and coordination. Symptoms typically improve after getting some sleep.In a revealing experiment, participants divided into well-rested and sleep-deprived groups (kept awake all night) were tested on learning capacity. After two nights of recovery sleep, the sleep-deprived group displayed a 40% memory deficit, struggling to absorb new information. Learning-related hippocampal activity was observed in those who slept, while the sleep-deprived exhibited minimal learning engagement. Sleep deprivation had literally frozen their memory processing. Working very late before an exam day does not seem to be a good idea!Another study involving two groups of young adults—one sleep-deprived and one well-rested—showed that the sleep-deprived participants displayed over 60% amplified emotional reactivity in the amygdala, the fight-or-flight center. Simultaneously, the prefrontal cortex, associated with rationality and decision-making, struggled to temper emotional triggers. The result was heightened irritability and emotional turbulence.<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:75%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/why_wake_witch3_0b34e8b192.webp" alt="why-wake-witch3.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_why_wake_witch3_0b34e8b192.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_why_wake_witch3_0b34e8b192.webp 437w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/why_wake_witch3_0b34e8b192.webp 437w," sizes="100vw"></figure>6. 36 hours without sleep?Bodily functions such as appetite, metabolism, mood, and stress level can be disrupted. Effects include extreme fatigue, hormonal imbalances, decreased motivation, risky decisions, inflexible reasoning, and speech impairments.7. 48 hours without sleep?&nbsp;The immune system becomes compromised, increasing inflammation and decreasing natural killer cell activity.8. 72 hours without sleep?&nbsp;An intense urge to sleep emerges. Cognitive functions like multitasking, memory, and attention severely decline. Emotional stability suffers, causing irritability, depression, anxiety, and difficulty processing emotions in others. Perception becomes distorted, leading to hallucinations and illusions.9. Longer periods of sleep deprivation?&nbsp;Cognitive, emotional, and perceptual functions progressively worsen, ultimately impacting overall well-being.A prominent contemporary challenge is the delayed onset of sleep due to lengthy work hours, late-night calls, digital distractions, etc., making more and more people affected by sleep diseases.&nbsp;So, what constitutes a restful night’s sleep? We’ll find out next time!<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:75%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/why_wake_witch4_0dc3cb0f70.webp" alt="why-wake-witch4.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_why_wake_witch4_0dc3cb0f70.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_why_wake_witch4_0dc3cb0f70.webp 523w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/why_wake_witch4_0dc3cb0f70.webp 523w," sizes="100vw"></figure>To be continued.<hr>References:1 Chattu, V.J. et al, 2018. The Global Problem of Insufficient Sleep and Its Serious Public Health Implications. Healthcare (Basel) ; <a href="https://doi.org/10.3390%2Fhealthcare7010001.">https://doi.org/10.3390%2Fhealthcare7010001.</a>2 Black, D. S. et al., 2015. Mindfulness Meditation and Improvement in Sleep Quality and Daytime Impairment Among Older Adults With Sleep Disturbances: A Randomized Clinical Trial. JAMA Intern Med, Apr;175(4):494-501.3 Wallker, M., 2017. Why We Sleep: The New Science of Sleep and Dreams. Scribner Books,&nbsp;4 Mateika, J.H. et al, 2002. Impact of Sleep on Learning and Behaviors in Adolescents, Teachers College Record, 104(4):704-726.5 Effects of insufficient sleep on circadian rhythmicity and expression amplitude of the human blood transcriptome. Proc Natl Acad Sci USA, 110(12): E1132-41. doi: 10.1073/pnas.1217154110. Epub 2013 Feb 25.6 Van Cauter, E. et al, 2007. Impact of sleep and sleep loss on neuroendocrine and metabolic function. Horm Res, 67, Suppl 1:2-9. &nbsp;doi: 10.1159/000097543. Epub 2007 Feb 15.7 WIrwin, M.R., 2015. Why Sleep Is Important for Health: A Psychoimmunology Perspective. Annu Rev Psychol, 66:143-172.

Why wake the witch? 

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">Following up on last month’s article, STANISLAS LAJUGIE shares details about our sleep patterns and what is needed to create a really healthy sleep routine.</h4>&nbsp;<h4>If you want to follow your dreams, go to sleep early</h4>In the 1950s, after conducting experiments on rats that were later confirmed on humans, scientists discovered that we did not have a continuous and consistent pattern of brainwave activity during sleep. Instead, the brainwave patterns fluctuated between periods of higher-frequency waves, similar to wakeful brain activity, and periods of low-frequency waves, typical of deep sleep.The sleep periods resembling wakeful states were characterized by rapid and irregular eye movements, and dreams. This type of sleep was called rapid eye movement or REM sleep. During the other periods, brain activity was slow and the body completely relaxed with no movement of the eyes. This state was called deep or NREM sleep.During NREM sleep, the body repairs itself. Tissues regenerate, the immune system rejuvenates, and energy levels replenish. The brain consolidates memories and learning from the day, and expels neurotoxins.Indeed, deep NREM sleep is the brain’s cleanup phase. Brain activity and blood circulation decrease, permitting the glymphatic system (clears waste products and toxins from the brain) to facilitate the exchange of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) and interstitial fluid (ISF) in the brain. During this phase, ISF volume increases by 60%, flushing the brain and eliminating waste.Research reveals that the glymphatic system also aids memory consolidation, potentially explaining sleep’s role in brain health. Prolonged sleep deprivation can impair this, allowing toxic waste buildup that contributes to cognitive decline and neurological disorders, including Alzheimer’s.The initial stage of sleep and transitory phases are light REM sleep, followed by progressively deeper states. During REM sleep, brain activity heightens, accompanied by rapid eye movement. This phase is characterized by dreams and flashbacks, testing all scenarios, and allowing vital processing and memorization of emotions.The World Health Organization recommends seven to nine hours of sleep for adults, though individual needs may differ. Sleep quality also matters. A fulfilling night’s sleep contains multiple cycles of deep sleep and light sleep, essential for physical and mental revitalization. An average sleep cycle spans 90 minutes, with around four to five cycles in a 24-hour span for optimal rejuvenation. Uninterrupted sleep, devoid of frequent awakenings, is equally crucial.<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:70.09%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/sleep_health2_ec4ec69779.webp" alt="sleep-health2.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_sleep_health2_ec4ec69779.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_sleep_health2_ec4ec69779.webp 800w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/sleep_health2_ec4ec69779.webp 800w," sizes="100vw"></figure>Quality of sleep is not only about how long we sleep, but also when we sleep. The circadian rhythm is the natural, internal process that regulates the sleep-wake cycle and various physiological and behavioral processes in living organisms, including humans, on a daily basis. The main gland that regulates the circadian rhythm is the pineal gland. Located deep within the brain, the pineal gland plays a crucial role in the regulation of various physiological processes, including the sleep-wake cycle and the production of the hormone melatonin.The pineal gland receives signals from a cluster of neurons in the hypothalamus (SCN) that acts as the body’s master biological clock. The SCN receives information about the external light-dark cycle through the eyes’ retinal cells, which then communicate this information to the pineal gland.When darkness falls, the SCN signals the pineal gland to increase its production of melatonin, and the rise in melatonin levels promotes drowsiness and prepares the body for sleep. As morning approaches and light levels increase, the SCN signals the pineal gland to decrease melatonin production, promoting wakefulness. In this way, the pineal gland’s secretion of melatonin serves as a key component of the circadian rhythm, helping to align internal biological processes with the external day-night cycle.<h4>What is your sleep health?</h4>When we sleep has an effect on our circadian rhythm. If we go to sleep after 11 p.m., we will not get the longest duration of NREM sleep, in particular N3 (very deep sleep), the stage most associated with physical restoration and recovery. During N3 sleep, the body engages in critical processes like cell repair, growth, and immune system support, and the brain’s glymphatic system is most active. Deep sleep also plays a vital role in memory consolidation, particularly for declarative memory (facts, events, experiences). Emotional processing and regulation are also linked to deep sleep, helping to modulate emotional responses and potentially reset the brain’s emotional state.<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:76.6%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/sleep_health3_74a82d1548.webp" alt="sleep-health3.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_sleep_health3_74a82d1548.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_sleep_health3_74a82d1548.webp 1000w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/sleep_health3_74a82d1548.webp 1000w," sizes="100vw"></figure><hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">An average sleep cycle spans 90 minutes, &nbsp;with around four to five cycles in a &nbsp;24-hour span for optimal rejuvenation.&nbsp;</h4><hr>Sleeping early supports metabolic functions and helps regulate hormones involved in appetite control, metabolism, and stress response. Disrupting these processes by sleeping late can potentially lead to metabolic imbalances and increased stress.Melatonin secretion increases in the evening, promoting sleepiness. If we’re awake and exposed to light when our bodies expect darkness, melatonin levels may remain elevated, leading to feelings of fatigue, and a mismatch between our internal clock and external environment. Instead of feeling energetic in the morning, melatonin presence may persist, making it difficult to wake.Not getting the necessary NREM sleep can contribute to mood disturbances, like irritability, mood swings, and potential mental health issues.In summary, when we consistently go to bed after 11 p.m., we miss out on the critical early-night NREM sleep stages, which can have a cascading impact on various aspects of our health and functioning.If you need to make adjustments to your sleep schedule, it’s recommended to do it gradually over a period of time, to allow your body to adapt to the changes.<h4 style="text-align:justify;">Meditation: a gateway to enhanced sleep and brain function</h4>To become a sleep champion requires a healthy lifestyle: going to sleep early and for long enough, a balanced work life, regular exercise, reduced coffee and tea consumption, a timely and light diet.Additionally, meditation brings many benefits for sleep quality and brain functioning, including stress reduction1, enhanced sleep quality2, circadian rhythm alignment3, and daytime vitality4.<h4>Moral of the story?</h4>The lesson is clear: sleep’s intelligence far surpasses our comprehension. Ignoring it could hasten our journey toward an early end. In the grand mosaic of existence, sleep is not a waste of time for the busy, but a vital need. Our physical and mental well-being dance to its rhythm, and meditation may well be the conductor guiding us to harmonious rest.<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:70.55%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/sleep_health4_bd4a8ed853.webp" alt="sleep-health4.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_sleep_health4_bd4a8ed853.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_sleep_health4_bd4a8ed853.webp 400w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/sleep_health4_bd4a8ed853.webp 400w," sizes="100vw"></figure>&nbsp;References:1 Jindal et al., 2016; Tang et al., 2015; Winbush et al., 2007; Ong et al., 2008. 2 Black et al., 2015; Gong et al., 2016. 3 Burke et al., 2015. 4 Colzato et al., 2015; Mrazek et al., 2013.&nbsp;

How is your sleep health?

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Stephen Covey

Trust is the glue of life

Stephen is co-founder of the LifeWorks program of mindful well-being at Stanford University, faculty of Fielding Graduate University, and president of Nichibei Care. He received a doctorate in psychology from Harvard and was professor at the University of Tokyo. His books in Japanese and English include When Half is Whole and Multicultural Encounters.

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Stephen Murphy-Shigematsu

STEPHEN MURPHY-SHIGEMATSU opens his heart about the sacredness of the death of his grandmother.<hr>“She waited for you,” the priest told me. I believe she did.It had been a long trip to get there and Obaachan had been on a long journey in this world. My grandmother was 111, though the priest pronounced her 113 by the Buddhist way of counting age, adding one for the time in the womb and another on New Year’s day. Her old body had finally broken down and I couldn’t just let her go, so I went to Japan.With a heavy feeling that this was my last time to see her I made the long trip across the ocean. When I finally arrived in her room and saw her, my heart sank as she appeared to be unconscious. I stared at her for a while thinking that I had come for nothing. But when I called her, “Obaachan,” she opened her eyes and looked into mine. “It’s me,” I said. “Stephen.” She recognized me and her eyes closed. We did this a few more times before she appeared to fall into a deep sleep. Wanting to get away for a moment from the enormity of the situation I went outside into the falling&nbsp; darkness wandering through neighbourhoods filled with sights, sounds, and scents of home – fish grilling, television news, students bicycling home.When I returned her condition had markedly changed. The nurse said that she was rejecting food and even water. The doctor was called and after&nbsp; examining her told me that she was nearing the mountain top – an unfamiliar expression but one I instantly understood. He left the room and I waited alone by her side. The only sound was the rhythm of her harsh breathing. After a few hours I grew weary and fell asleep.<hr>.… the original meaning of dharma, which she explained as a way of being for each living thing, to be discovered and accepted. I needed to accept who I was, be grateful for it and responsibly do what I could with what I had, which was a lot.<hr>A short while later I awoke to a strange silence. I knew that it was over. Her long time in this world had ended.As I gazed at the lifeless body I recalled the time that I lived with Obaachan in my youth. Everyone marvelled at her seimeiryoku, her vitality, and I&nbsp; was fortunate to have absorbed some. She taught me about the beauty of Buddhism, and the original meaning of dharma, which she explained as a way of being for each living thing, to be discovered and accepted. I needed to accept who I was, be grateful for it and responsibly do what I could with what I had, which was a lot.Obaachan also talked about the beauty of Jesus Christ. She insisted that my father, who never professed to be a Christian, was actually Christlike in many ways. I knew him as a man scorned by society as a fool, and Obaachan affirmed that he was indeed a fool. But she called him “Obakasan” – a wonderful fool, foolish enough to try to live by ideals and the highest values, for which he suffered severe consequences.The funeral ended with family members placing flowers on Obaachan’s body, especially around her face, before the coffin was closed. We then moved to the crematorium. We watched as the body was rolled into the oven and the switch turned on. I had a strange sense of detachment; none of this was&nbsp; horrifying. I sensed no life in the body, no Obaachan. Whatever form she was now in, it clearly was not attached to that body.I wondered if she was now with God and remembered asking Obaachan, “Where is God?” She pointed to her heart and said, “God is here.” Then she pointed at my heart and said “God is there too.” I understood that God is in all of us.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Article by STEPHEN MURPHY-SHIGEMATSU</h4>Photography by RASMUS MOGENSEN<hr>

Arigatou: Beginning & ending with thanks

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Stephen R. Covey

Strength lies in differences

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Steve Jobs

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The lightness of being a beginner

Follow Your Heart

<h2 id="h-emilie-mogensen">Emilie Mogensen</h2>

Emilie is Danish born with design and spirituality in her DNA. Besides being a designer, she holds an Inner MBA, a Masters in conscious business and entrepreneurship, from NYU. She is on a mission to enhance unity, compassion and heart centered entrepreneurship in modern life business endeavors. 

<h2>Steve Macadam</h2>

Steve is a senior executive and conscious CEO who was the President of EnPro, and is a director on the boards of Louisiana-Pacific Corporation and Valvoline Inc. He is committed to ethical behavior, sound corporate governance, profound people engagement, and long-term decisions for the greater good.

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Steve Macadam and Emilie Mogensen

<h4>EMILIE MOGENSEN attended STEVE MACADAM’s module as part of The Inner MBA, and she is deeply inspired by his way of building authentic communities. Steve is an MBA from Harvard, a Baker Scholar, and currently an independent director for Louisiana-Pacific Corporation and Valvoline Inc.</h4><hr>Although I have been on a sincere spiritual path for 29 years, I tend to be very impatient. When I feel inspired or see a need for change, I often find myself wanting to execute before thinking. This tendency led to extreme boredom at school, and it has stayed with me throughout life. At the same time, I believe it is what makes me move forward as an entrepreneur and in life. I am a “street achiever,” often rather fearless, with a strong drive. It serves me well most of the time, especially when my actions come from within, based on wisdom, or from knowledge inspired by great thinkers and entrepreneurs.I share this to emphasize how much I appreciated Steve Macadam’s module at The Inner MBA immersion program. If I had to choose one module as the most useful take-away, it would be Steve’s on how to build authentic communities. I feel the future call for these authentic communities and synchronicities whispering to me, “This is true,” and hope to share why.Steve has a very practical approach, and his messages resonate with the go-getter entrepreneur in me. His model has worked successfully at EnPro, where he was the CEO. I am not the right person to go into the corporate story of EnPro, a publicly-traded US company with 8,000 employees; what makes my heart sing is to investigate the essence of human beings – in this case, Steve Macadam.Steve shares that building authentic communities is often based on the visions held by very passionate visionaries. They can be organizations, businesses, schools, or grassroots movements. It seems to be essential that someone holds the vision firmly in order for the communities to expand.Steve’s model of building authentic communities is simple and based on 4 phases:Phase 1, the pseudo communityPhase 2, the chaos communityPhase 3, the emptying phasePhase 4, the authentic communityBefore diving into this, let’s explore what is a community and what does it mean when something or someone is authentic.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/building_authentic_communities2_1a53533246.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T06:26:12.527Z" alt="building-authentic-communities2"><hr><hr><h4>To be “authentic” means to be&nbsp; genuine and real. It’s about&nbsp; alignment between what happens inside&nbsp; and what is expressed outside.</h4><hr><hr>“Community” refers to a group of people with shared interests, whether those interests are based on culture, spirituality, values, customs, or identity. Communities may share a geographical space, like a village or a church hall, or they may connect virtually, such as an online social network.Characteristics of a community include friendship, support, growth, shared attitudes, interests and goals. Some communities form naturally, such as those in specific geographical locations, while others form consciously with a shared purpose and goal.For example, a Heartfulness community is a gathering of people who wish to practice Heartfulness in a convenient and supportive space: a space where people can be themselves, meet with others, share experiences, and gain support and understanding. Essentially, a Heartfulness community provides the space for people to meditate together, share stories, and find love and support.To be “authentic” means to be genuine and real. It’s about alignment between what happens inside and what is expressed outside. Authenticity helps us feel safe. We are more aware of what is going on, instead of having to second guess and use various strategies to get what we need.I feel this is one of the most needed traits for humanity. It’s worth exploring how we can become better at being authentic together, at work, in spiritual communities, and elsewhere. In fact, I feel it is one of the missing links in our eagerness to co-create a more compassionate world.The most powerful message from my conversation with Steve is that there can be no authentic community without conflict.As someone engaged in a spiritual community, this can be difficult to embrace. I think many spiritual seekers tend to be pleasers by nature – we thrive in peace, and that is honorable!But can we try to dive deeper, and cultivate communities that fill us with even deeper connection and meaning? Talking to Steve helped me to learn that we can speak our own truth from a place of sovereignty and dignity, while holding space for others, especially when we don’t agree with them.<hr><hr><h4>We can speak our own truth&nbsp; from a place of sovereignty and dignity,&nbsp; while holding space for others,&nbsp; especially when we don’t agree with them.</h4><hr><hr>Next month, I will explore the four phases of the model Steve used at EnPro with remarkable results. EnPro is a multiple bottom lines company, placing equal value on people, planet, and profit, where the CEO reads fairytales to the workers, and everyone is allowed to express their inner truths. It comes from a very authentic place in my heart to share how Steve has inspired me to build and expand authentic communities. I hope it will inspire you too.

Building authentic communities

<h4>EMILIE MOGENSEN attended STEVE MACADAM’s module as part of The Inner MBA, and she is deeply inspired by his way of building authentic communities. Steve is an MBA from Harvard, a Baker Scholar, and currently an independent director for Louisiana-Pacific Corporation and Valvoline Inc. In part 2 of the series, they explore the 4 phases of building authentic communities.</h4><hr><h5>“The next Buddha may take the form of&nbsp; a community – a community practicing understanding and loving kindness,&nbsp; a community practicing mindful living.”</h5><h5>—Thich Nhat Hanh</h5><hr>We are exploring Steve Macadam’s model on how to build authentic communities. The model is simple and based on 4 phases:Phase 1, the pseudo communityPhase 2, the chaos communityPhase 3, the emptying phasePhase 4, the authentic communityPhase 1, the pseudo community, is artificial, not real. Steve explains that this phase is often where most companies and organizations are stuck for long periods and some people seem to be okay there. But the bottom line is that the community can thrive much better, and some people break away from those communities that don’t offer space for authenticity.This leads us to Phase 2, the chaos community, where a lot of people leave and some stay back, and often insist rather strongly on maintaining things “as they have always been.” We see this a lot in the world today, where the “great resignation” is a hardcore reality for many companies. People are simply no longer willing to put their jobs and positions above their personal well-being. I believe this is an unavoidable result of decades, even centuries, of the individual trying to fit in at any cost.This fitting in often comes from a very strong need to feel a part of the group and not to stand alone, which is a very sweet and innocent quality of the human heart – the need to be with fellow beings and to connect. But the question to ask is: do we really connect? And do we really thrive if we constantly value the profit of the company, the peace of the room, over our inner most truthful need of being allowed to feel okay just as we are?I am writing this article with a funny sense of insecurity, as I know the Heartfulness Magazine is a multicultural magazine, with readers from around the world, with different backgrounds, cultures, and religious beliefs. I respect this and want to honor everyone’s feelings. Some cultures believe strongly in putting the group’s needs over the individual, which a part of me does as well.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/4phases_community2_700x523_03be816d90.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T10:46:45.011Z" alt="4phases-community2"><hr>So why am I so drawn to Steve’s model? Because another part of me is truly thirsty to step into a new world and a new expression of myself: of being able to hold space for others, and not feel threatened nor hurt when someone holds a very different opinion than me.It seems to be part of an evolutionary plan that we are in the midst of a paradigm shift. The fact that we have seen numerous communities breaking up, families breaking up, friendships breaking up, companies breaking up, shows me something is in deep transformation in our societal structures. We are in the middle of a collective “community of chaos,” phase 2.We travel through Phase 3, the emptying phase, to move from chaos to Phase 4, the authentic community. Phase 3 is where Steve allows all the workers to express themselves, through listening to fairy tales and through mindfulness exercises. He emphasizes how important it is that the CEO, the leader, faces the people within a circle, sitting on a chair at the same height as the others in the group. A sense of equality must be present, so everyone can express their feelings and everyone can practice holding space for one another.<hr><hr><h4>A sense of equality&nbsp; must be present, so everyone&nbsp; can express their feelings and everyone can practice holding&nbsp; space for one another.</h4><hr><hr>This means to leave the thinking part of consciousness, and truly listen with the heart and the entire body. The heart holds our compassionate qualities, while our body is the container of a lot of hidden trauma. We tend to want to bypass the unpleasant feelings, as we don’t like to feel uncomfortable.This is where “emotional intelligence” comes into the picture. Demonstrating emotional intelligence is actually very simple. It is the ability to stay present in our own and other people’s emotions and feelings. It is not about understanding them, and certainly not about giving advice. It is about being able to hold a certain tune of someone’s instrument, even though we might prefer to play on other tunes. It requires the confidence to be brave enough to allow the unpleasant stream of consciousness to move through the energy body, without holding onto it or pushing it away. It’s an exercise in letting energy move through the physical body and the energy body, and letting it go when it’s ready to pass.I asked Steve to elaborate on the importance of strong and visible leadership in the emptying phase. He shares that it is crucial that everyone leads themselves from within, and nobody feels they are “being watched” by someone in power.I ask a bit further, wanting him to share some insights about how important it must be to have very defined frameworks around this in a community. It is very sweet how Steve is really not into top down leadership, as one could imagine a CEO in a publicly traded US company could be. He emphasizes the importance of a free and open environment, where everyone can express their truth. However, he ends up agreeing with me that a skillful leader is required to facilitate these community meetings, where everyone can empty their inner feelings and share their truths.He shares how we can benefit from being in a large circle, together, then some breakout sessions can take place. This is not something new in my own communities, and I have often felt it to be rather boring. Again, my impatient entrepreneur mentality! Steve shares with me that the typical entrepreneur is often the person who breaks out from communities. I resonate with that. Some sort of “don’t care, move on” thought pattern in my head.<hr><hr><h4>It requires the confidence to be brave enough&nbsp; to allow the unpleasant stream of consciousness&nbsp; to move through the energy body,&nbsp; without holding onto it or pushing it away.&nbsp; It’s an exercise in letting energy move&nbsp; through the physical body and the energy body,&nbsp; and letting it go when it’s ready to pass.</h4><hr><hr>A part of me is sad about this, because I truly wish to be a part of authentic communities, not just doing things my way. I feel split into these two sides. One is afraid to lose my go-getter power if I have to succumb to a group. It truly is faster to get things done on my own. Another part of me wants to be part of a group.I ask Steve how to deal with this, and his answer makes so much sense. “This is exactly what you have to share in the group,” he says. I feel a strong sense of healing when these two rather different personalities in me meet and shake hands.<hr><hr><h4>Most human beings are people with strong intentions&nbsp; for a better world, for compassion and peace.&nbsp; And what a human heart needs most&nbsp; is to feel allowed and contained&nbsp; in whatever process it is going through.</h4><hr><hr>Back to the emptying phase, our community meeting, and sharing in small groups. What struck me with Steve’s model is that he guides us to come back after the breakout session and share together in a slightly different way than I am used to. What we share in the plenum is not what we discussed, but how did it make us feel to share in the breakout session? What struck us? How did we feel sharing? What were we good at sharing? This is brilliant in my eyes! Because most human beings (at least the ones reading this magazine) are people with strong intentions for a better world, for compassion and peace. And what a human heart needs most is to feel allowed and contained in whatever process it is going through.And who really wants to blame others? Not many! But sometimes we can’t stop blaming a certain person, a leader or a group, unless we are allowed to be acknowledged for the pain we have felt in the pseudo phase. The very fact that we share how sharing made us feel creates an authentic community, because we start showing more interest in how we feel, instead of what we think and say.The key takeaways from Steve’s model:To move from pseudo community to authentic community, each of us must demonstrate strong inner leadership.People in decision-making positions must practice asking what he calls “powerful questions.” Here are some examples: Why are you not feeling safe in this community? Why do you not like the way things are? What is your contribution to the very thing you address? What is your contribution as a leader?<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/4phases_community3_e175ebee65.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T10:47:20.643Z" alt="4phases-community3"><hr><hr><h4>A true leader is someone&nbsp; who cares about having a&nbsp; positive impact on others,&nbsp; through role modeling rather than&nbsp; teaching or giving advice.</h4><hr>Steve is not a top down leader, which truly makes me want to follow him and ask him for advice. He emphasizes that a true leader is someone who cares about having a positive impact on others, through role modeling rather than teaching or giving advice.Once the emptying phase is processed in a compassionate way, facilitated by leaders who are able to hold their vision and allow space for everyone to unfold their inner leader, the authentic community emerges from deep within everyone. It offers deep meaningful relationships, a sense of belonging, and loyalty to the respective organization or company.Thank you Steve for this wonderful opportunity to explore your experimental ways and to learn from you.<hr><hr><h4>Illustrations by ALONA SAVCHUK</h4><hr>

The 4 phases of community

Subhangee is a college student from Kolkata, India. Her story won second prize for college students (19 to 25 years) in the Heartfulness International Essay Competition 2021.

Subhangee Ghosh

<h4
 id="h-subhangee-ghosh-is-a-college-student-from-kolkata-india-she-tells-the-inspiring-story-of-her-father-who-overcame-all-obstacles-of-childhood-blindness-to-help-others-this-story-won-subhangee-second-prize-for-college-students-19-to-25-years-in-the-heartfulness-international-essay-competition-2021">
 SUBHANGEE
 GHOSH
 is a college student from Kolkata, India. She tells the inspiring story of
 her father, who overcame all obstacles of childhood blindness to help
 others. This story won Subhangee second prize for college students (19 to 25
 years) in the Heartfulness International Essay Competition 2021.
</h4>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 To some people he is their God, to some he is their hero. He effortlessly
 plays the role of brother, friend, husband, etc. And to me he is my
 larger-than-life father, whose capacity and willingness to help others never
 ceases to amaze me.



 At the age of 10, my father lost his eyesight in an accident. Overnight he
 became a burden to his family. Incidentally, my father has become successful
 and has come so far in life because of an act of kindness by one of his
 relatives. He likes to tell people that he considers his blindness to be a
 blessing in disguise because otherwise he would never have helped so many
 people. And he tells me that teaching is his passion and helping people his
 obsession.



 Throughout the years, my father has helped countless visually-impaired boys
 and girls in different capacities. By profession he is a teacher, and for the
 last ten years he has been the principal of a school for blind children. In
 his professional capacity he has mentored many a boy on career development,
 many of whom have become very successful in life, and guided parents on how to
 understand their child’s special needs. As a result, he has &nbsp;helped those
 children to have a safe and happy upbringing.



 My father is also the secretary of an NGO, which runs solely for the welfare
 of visually-impaired people, providing scholarships for education, and
 establishing a home where blind students can stay free of charge, etc. He is
 like a one-man army when it comes to helping others. He always says that,
 whenever he goes somewhere alone to do good work, someone or the other is
 always there to help him and make his journey smooth. He believes it is God’s
 way of looking out for him.



 In early 2020, my father became gravely ill. When he came home, he told people
 that maybe God saved him because he had some unfinished work. Those words were
 soon to come true. Soon after the pandemic started, my father got a call from
 a blind hawker saying that he was having difficulty in making ends meet
 because he had lost his source of income when the local trains stopped
 running. My father sent him some money. Soon after, a few more people called
 with the same issue, and he did likewise. When the news spread of my father’s
 help, he started getting 100 calls a day from people all having the same
 issue. This made him seriously think about how to resolve this issue. He
 started the program, “Relief Distribution to Blind Hawkers.”



 He approached his friends, friends of friends, other NGOs, corporates, etc.,
 and through his efforts he was able to procure 15,000,000 rupees in cash and
 food items for distribution. In 2020 and 2021 he provided relief to
 approximately 2,000 blind hawkers and their families in 14 districts of West
 Bengal. But my father does not believe in doing things on a small scale. He
 not only gave these hawkers relief but procured for them items to start their
 business again. Also, he organized a free-of-charge vaccination drive for
 blind people who were not able to get vaccinated by themselves.



 And the most praiseworthy fact is that my father has co-morbidity, and he was
 not at all deterred to volunteer in the field. Along with one of his
 colleagues, he went out every Sunday with a minivan carrying the relief
 materials, and directly handed over the items to people.



 Helen Keller was an amazing lady who is one of my father’s inspirations. She
 said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor even
 touched, but just felt in the heart.” My father may not be able to see it, but
 I believe he feels the respect that people have in their heart for him, the
 pride his family feels in their heart for him, and the love and admiration I
 have in my heart for him.


<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<hr />

<h4 class="has-text-align-center">
 “The best and most
 beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor
 even touched, but just felt in the heart.“ Helen Keller
</h4>

<hr />

The most beautiful things

Suhas-Ramakrishnan2.jpg

Suhas Ramakrishnan

<h3 style="text-align: center;">From the Travel Bag of a Solo Biker</h3>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">SUHAS RAMAKRISHNAN is a quintessential biker, who
 loves to venture on his beloved Harley. In one of his recent expeditions, he finds inspiration at the famous Uluru
 in Central Australia. Through one of the most punishing deserts on Earth, this expedition is as much about courage
 as it is about perseverance and unwavering self-belief. Suhas also shares some valuable tips, especially for those
 bitten by the solo travel bug.</h4>
&nbsp;
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><img alt="on-the-go" class="img-float-right has-img-center-in-mobile"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/SUHAS_RAMAKRISHNAN_2d0a6ad1c1.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-06T07:36:05.782Z">
</h4>
More often than not, we tend to forget that we need to venture out into the open, which
 helps us have a different perspective to life!
Mid last year, while I was flying out of Australia, I looked down from my window and saw
 this glorious red rock glowing in the late afternoon light. It planted the seed in my head of traveling to Uluru on
 my Harley. In my last solo expedition from Sydney to Perth, between the East and West Coasts of Australia, I had
 covered a distance of approximately 7,000 kms. But this time it was going to 
 be over 8,000 kms of the unforgiving Australian desert. I slowly started working towards it, as each and every
 detail of my journey needed to be laid out and meticulously planned.
I wanted to do a round trip from Sydney, covering the legendary Australian outback and
 seeing the World Heritage site of Uluru and the Kata Tjuta National Park. I wanted to push my boundaries, ensuring
 that this trip was more challenging than my previous one. And what better way to do it than being alone on the road,
 with my bike, in the middle of nowhere!
Life according to me is a celebration: the more you celebrate, the more there is in life
 to celebrate. So I decided to “celebrate life” under the stars, close to one of Australia’s most recognizable
 landmarks – Uluru.
<img alt="on-the-go" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Onthego2_ab0fc3830d.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-06T07:37:57.814Z">

I have always enjoyed the mental focus and solitude of riding a motorcycle. You have no
 distractions and can really enjoy the moment, and be in tune with nature with the pleasure of living in the here and
 now. Riding a motorcycle enables the perfect relationship between rhythmic movement and internal stillness, drawing
 out the physical force like no other.
I had named this trip “The Mile Muncher” from the day I started working on it, as I was
 going to have to travel an average of 500 kilometers on a daily basis. In my previous ride, I only had to ride from
 east to west, but this trip covered all four directions, starting west from Sydney, going north from Port Augusta in
 South Australia, traveling east from Tennent Creek in the Northern Territory, and south from Rockhampton in
 Queensland back to Sydney. The total distance was 8,312 kms (5,165 miles) spanning 17 days.
<img alt="on-the-go" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Onthego3_dc3aab62b7.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-06T07:39:11.189Z">

I was told before I embarked on the expedition, by a few seasoned travelers, that some
 stretches were really dangerous owing to the cross winds that are a normal occurrence in the deserts of central
 Australian. Along with the winds were the ever-present and iconic road trains, without which the roads are pretty
 much empty. I also geared up for the frequent sand storms, thanks to the mining that happens all through the desert.
 Along the track were the usual mix of kangaroos, emus, camels, livestock and birds of prey, especially the famous
 wedge-tailed eagle, which has an approximate wing span of 9 metres when in flight.
Every single ride that I’ve completed till now has taught me some important life
 lessons, the most important one being that not everything goes according to plan, and how ever much you plan, things
 happen which are outside your control and comfort zone. The only way to get out of sticky situations is to fall back
 on those lessons that are forcibly taught. Like they say “Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes
 from bad judgment.” So there is always something to celebrate in every situation, as it teaches us to reach new
 heights in whatever we are trying to accomplish.
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, 
 and sometimes in the middle of nowhere you find yourself!</h5>
<hr>
<img alt="on-the-go" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Onthego4_4f1ec74f5f.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-06T07:39:58.470Z">

I didn’t do too many things different this time around, just kept it simple. Laying out
 all the particulars and planning the travel to the finest detail provided the foundation on which the broader
 aspects of my ride were built. Once the route was finalized, I started planning accommodation and also making sure
 there were enough places to see nearby after each day’s ride.
More than the physical effort that it takes on these kinds of expeditions, I would say
 the effort is psychological, as the mind tends to always look for negatives in every situ-ation. This particular
 phase during my preparation was more challenging. Staying positive through the days of build-up and focusing only on
 one goal, which was to come back home safe and sound with a lifetime’s worth of memories, was among the things I did
 before embarking on my ride.
<h4><img alt="on-the-go" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Onthego5_600bf2ef71.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-06T07:40:46.367Z">
</h4>
Here are some tips that may come handy while solo traveling:

Always keep an open mind for whatever situation you
 might get into.
Never lose focus of the goal, no matter the
 adversity. Even if you lose a couple of battles in between, make sure the war is won at the end, because when you
 are on the road not everything goes according to plan and you need to be very flexible and do whatever it takes to
 reach the next milestone.
Set yourself a target or an assignment each day, as
 this keeps every single day interesting. After the completion of that task, the sense of accomplishment will make
 you feel more connected and fulfilled, and you will be more motivated for the subsequent day’s travel. This is a
 very important mental exercise, especially while traveling solo, as you are likely to lack motivation as a result of
 missing human connection.
Last but not least, solo travel gives you the space to
 think and deal with stuff like self-doubt and emotional baggage, that you inadvertently tend to push to
 the back seat while trying to get on with your normal life. I think it is a great catch-up time with your own self,
 which invariably results in more clarity in your life.
Nonetheless, travelling is like a drug: sometimes you find yourself in the middle of
 nowhere, and sometimes in the middle of nowhere you find yourself!
<h4><img alt="on-the-go" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Onthego6_c2201884a3.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-06T07:43:05.980Z">
</h4>
Adapted from an interview originally published at <a
 href="http://www.bohotraveller.com" target="_blank"
 rel="noopener noreferrer">http://www.bohotraveller.com</a>. 
 Read the full interview at <a
 href="https://www.bohotraveller.com/blog-global/insanity-revisited-solo-biking-expedition-on-the-worlds-harshest-desert-australia"
 target="_blank"
 rel="noopener noreferrer">https://www.bohotraveller.com/blog-global/insanity-revisited-solo-biking-expedition-on-the-worlds-harshest-desert-australia</a>

<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article by SUHAS RAMAKRISHNAN</h4>
<hr>

On the go

Sukriti is the founder of Doctor of Happiness. She is an artist who is helping young people with depression and other mental conditions through her art and online platform. Her Instagram account tagline is “A Reservoir of Hope & Encouragement.” She helps youth handle peer pressure, and the burden of being politically correct all the time, feeling it to be the need of the hour.

Sukriti-Vadhera-Kohli.jpg

Sukriti Vadhera Kohli

<hr class="vertical-space1">
<h3 style="text-align: center;">AN ART ESSAY</h3>
<h4>SUKRITI VADHERA KOHLI is the founder of Doctor of Happiness, helping young
 people with depression and other mental conditions through her art and online platform. Here she speaks with VANESSA PATEL about what inspired her to open up this forum, and what a difference
 art can make to our well-being.</h4>
Q: Hullo Sukriti, can you please tell us about yourself
 and your organization, Doctor of Happiness?
SVK: When I started teaching, about 10 years back,
 I was interacting with a lot of young people. My students were aged 18 and 19, and I realized there were a lot of
 mental health issues in the country. Our students are facing a lot of pressure, and the pressure isn’t just about
 studies, it’s from multiple, complicated situations that young people are dealing with. To say that “College life is
 the best life” and “Youth is the best time” may not be true for everybody.
I began thinking that there has to be something that can be done for the mental health
 of Indian youth. I don’t have a psychology background; I am an artist. When I was in school, I was also in a very dark
 space and art helped me cope, so the thought came to me, “Why can’t I create a platform?” Before this, there were so
 many things I wanted to do but they never worked out. It took me three years to come up with the idea that art can
 inspire people. Can art be the reason for people to become hopeful?
So on January 2, 2018, I started my first online post and the idea was to reach out to
 as many people as possible. I also researched and discovered that there are a lot of artists working on mental health
 all over the world. They were doing a lot of dark stuff and I felt, “What is the point if I’m already in a dark space,
 and I see a dark illustration and I’m pulled into it? It doesn’t help. In fact it pulls me back.” So, consciously I
 decided that I would not use colors in my illustrations, only black and white in a minimalistic way. I would say
 something very profound in a simple way, so that it didn’t complicate, it didn’t overwhelm, it didn’t create more
 anxiety, it was not gyan, only something which would bring smiles to faces. I make a conscious effort to make positive
 art. It is very difficult, actually, for a subject like mental health. I had to really rack my brain and research a
 lot.
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">I make a conscious effort to make positive art. 
 It is very difficult, actually, for a subject like mental health. 
 I had to really rack my brain and research a lot.
</h5>
<hr>
Q: You use art to tell a story or convey a message. Your
 illustrations also have a quirkiness, although that doesn’t take away from the somber topics you’re addressing. How
 do you inject that little bit of lightheartedness and still make the point?
SVK: It’s really a big challenge, but I believe one
 thing: unhappy people make other people unhappy, and happy people make other people happy. To be very honest, with the
 challenges we face in life, it’s difficult to be happy all the time. To make art like that I need to become happy
 first. I’m a mother of a six-year-old, I have my family to look after, I have my work to do, so sometimes it’s a
 challenge to make myself happy.
But I’ll tell you one thing, the secret lies in dealing with daily problems. Because I
 cope with them I know how hard it is, and I overcome them and illustrate that. Whatever I’m dealing with I’m
 illustrating, so the quirkiness comes from the fact that the problems are there but I’m going to overcome them. I have
 illustrated many books, but for the first time in many years I have been able to use art for something that creates
 value in other people’s lives.
My quirkiness remains the same, but what I create for Doc of Happiness is very profound.
 Sometimes, even I am encouraged by my illustrations – when I look at something I have made 6 months back.
<img class="lazyload"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/sukriti2_aad048749d.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-05T03:44:39.839Z" />

Q: I don’t see your work touching on anything topical or
 political because that’s an entirely different subject.
SVK: Well, I want to work purely on mental health,
 but I do sometimes touch upon what’s going on and how to survive it. For example, when all the protests were going on
 around the country, a lot of people with anxiety were not okay to participate. And that was seen as a sign of
 cowardice. I wrote a blog and so many people responded. I supported them not to let anyone convince them they were
 cowards. It was their choice; they could still be at home and support the process. So, while I don’t really illustrate
 on those topics, I do have interactive sessions regarding what is going on right now.
Q: You’re helping them to handle peer pressure because
 there is so much burden on the youth to be politically correct all the time.
SVK: Yes, absolutely, and it is the need of the
 hour.
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">My quirkiness remains the same, 
 but what I create for Doc of Happiness 
 is very profound. Sometimes, 
 even I am encouraged by my illustrations.
</h5>
<hr>
Q: Your Instagram account tagline is “A Reservoir of Hope
 &amp; Encouragement.” How does this help you to connect with your followers?
SVK: I wanted to create an online platform which is
 a reservoir of hope. And when I went for the recent Spokenfest in Mumbai, I had so many followers come to me – people
 with whom I had interacted through direct messaging, but who I didn’t know. They told me that when they’re in a really
 dark place, they search Doc of Happiness and look at my illustrations, and that is their online reservoir of hope.
Nowadays we are using our mobile phones constantly, our eyes are always on the phone. So
 when there is a space like Doc of Happiness, which is not negative or gossipy, and it’s not just humor, it’s something
 meaningful, then I see that it is a reservoir of hope. It was the followers who told me this, so I only recently
 changed the description. Earlier I thought I illustrated to empathize and give hope. Now I realize that it’s actually
 beyond that. There is a bank of goodness lying somewhere which anyone can tap into whenever they wish, like an ATM.

A lot of my followers get in touch with me through direct messaging and, let me tell
 you, there is so much loneliness out there. Even though they may have many followers on social media and many real
 life friends, deep down they feel very lonely. They don’t have anyone to express what they’re feeling.
<img class="lazyload"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/sukriti3_b00bef44d7.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-05T03:46:33.229Z" />

Q: There are more deaths today through suicide than from
 wars, murder and natural disasters put together. With depression becoming so prevalent, how effective is your reach
 amongst the youth? Is social media a legitimate means of seeking and finding support?
SVK: I’m not a psychiatrist or a psychologist. I’m
 a complete believer in medical science, but I also believe that with medical science we need some kind of meditation
 philosophy, some kind of support system. When we put both together then we can solve things. Whenever I talk with
 someone who is going through a mental issue, I request them to consult a doctor. And because they trust me – of course
 I have to build that trust – they may approach a doctor. There are people who have started therapy as a result.
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">I also believe that with medical science 
 we need some kind of meditation philosophy, 
 some kind of support system. 
 When we put both together 
 then we can solve things.
</h5>
<hr>
As long as Doc of Happiness is helping people overcome their fears, and removing the
 stigma, then it is working, even if it is online. My dream is to one day create a place where people can check in and
 really take care of themselves through organic foods, meditation, prayers and art or music therapy. I’ve never seen a
 place with this concept anywhere in the world, so maybe someday I will be do it, because nothing is impossible.
Young people are lonely and they’re seeking. I’m learning every day that people are
 wanting help, and they are waiting; they are not closed to the idea. I used to think people were closed to advice, but
 everyone is seeking answers. I conducted a workshop on mental health at a college in Mumbai. I told them that I wanted
 it to be an interactive session, so I encouraged the students to ask me questions about their mental health. Not a
 single person put their hand up. I asked them to take a piece of paper and write their question on it, without putting
 their name. At first, I got two questions, then slowly they trickled in, and by the end the session had to be
 extended. I realized that just because they didn’t have the courage to ask me questions, it didn’t mean they weren’t
 seeking advice, or that they were fine. I know that people are ready.
I’ll tell you a crazy thing – twelve top publishers have refused to publish my book
 because they feel it won’t work. I wanted to make a book that costs only 100 to 120 rupees so that anyone can buy it.
 Illustrations do work. So, I decided to self-publish and started printing diaries. My orders are not stopping, which
 means that there is a real demand. Maybe someday the book will also get published; I don’t know how long that will
 take but I’m in no hurry. I’m observing these things and really reflecting. People want to know, but publishers don’t
 understand because there’s still a stigma. It happens the minute I mention mental wellness.
That’s why I responded to you, because I feel your magazine truly understands the need
 and knows there’s a demand. It may be slow, it may be at a snail’s pace, but even if one percent of readers are
 encouraged from your magazine, you’ve achieved the purpose. If you save one life, you’ve done it.
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">People connect to real life experiences, 
 people connect to things 
 which are spoken from the heart.
</h5>
<hr>
Q: How much of your own life experience has led you to use
 this means of creating awareness and reaching out to individuals who find it difficult to open up about their mental
 issues?
SVK: I have been invited to conduct workshops on
 mental health at various colleges and students usually message me or ask me to talk at these festivals, so one leads
 to another and it becomes a chain reaction. After my sessions, faculty members usually tell me that even they can
 connect with what I was saying, or they tell me to take a session for the teachers and staff. There is so much stigma
 attached to mental health issues that people feel only a psychologist or a psychiatrist is eligible to talk on the
 subject and they make it very technical and scientific.
I think it’s about the heart. People connect to real life experiences, people connect to
 things which are spoken from the heart, and then I think maybe together we can remove the stigma from it.
<img class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/sukriti4_9f11854ed2.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-05T03:47:29.304Z" />

Q: In most parts of the world, women hold a secondary
 social status across all economic backgrounds. How can we encourage the women in our life to tap into their inherent
 potential?
SVK: I had made an illustration for Women’s Day in
 2019 where I showed a woman peeping inside her own self and light is coming from within her. What I meant to depict is
 that we really need to believe in our own potential. All these years we’ve been conditioned to believe that we cannot
 survive in our own light. So, I think we need to tap into this inner potential, and start believing that we are
 capable enough to overcome anything. There is no other way. Male bashing will not help – we need to realize our own
 potential. We can keep blaming, but we must believe we are good enough. Also, I know a lot of men who completely
 understand, so let’s not make it generic. I feel we need to look deep within and ask, “Am I enough?” When all of us
 are able to answer this with a yes, then we will overcome it.
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">To me, it is paying a debt 
 of gratitude to my mentor, 
 because I have survived with 
 the help of his writings and my art.
</h5>
<hr>
Q: You are a mentor to many people. Do you have a mentor,
 someone who you look up to and wish to emulate? What is it about that person that inspires you?
SVK: I practice Buddhism and I’m most inspired by
 the writings of Dr. Daisaku Ikeda, a Japanese philosopher who is also an author and a photographer. He is somebody who
 has had many dialogues with people all over the world regarding world peace, and his writings are a reservoir of hope
 for me. So, if Doc of Happiness is a reservoir of hope for others, he is my reservoir because his writings point me in
 a positive direction, they show me what is correct and incorrect, and how can I improve myself, again through his
 life. So, yes, he’s my mentor, and I have written to him about this platform. To me, it is paying a debt of gratitude
 to my mentor, because I have survived with the help of his writings and my art. Doc of Happiness is truly for him.
Instagram &amp; Facebook: @docofhappiness
<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Art Essay by SUKRITI VADHERA KOHLI 
 Interviewed by VANESSA PATEL</h4>
<hr>

Doctor of happiness

<h4>SUKRITI VADHERA KOHLI is an artist whose mission is to encourage people to discover well-being. Here she shares her own experience of being courageous, and how that courage has led to happiness in her family. &nbsp;</h4><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dog_and_a_small_boy1a_bf94feb6d5.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T09:53:34.487Z" alt="dog_and_a_small_boy1"><hr><h4>Courage comes in all sizes</h4>I have never been a dog or a cat person or, let’s put it this way, an animal person. I have been fearful of dogs owned by my friends and family members, and never once thought of overcoming that fear. The same was true for my husband until our son came into our lives. During the Covid lockdown, his desire to have a pet became stronger than ever. The fortunate or unfortunate part was that this six-year-old never threw a tantrum or insisted; rather, he prayed his way into our hearts.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dog_and_a_small_boy2_d477dba7e4.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T09:55:19.689Z" alt="dog_and_a_small_boy"><hr>Every night for two years, Eklavya prayed with all his heart for his future dog and for his fearful parents to somehow agree. And just when our hearts began to melt, he expressed his desire to adopt and not buy a dog. Completely taken aback, we warned him, “Your dog won’t be as good looking when he’s no longer a puppy!” Pat came the reply, “Mom, dad, looks don’t matter!” I think that was our final melting point. Just like that, our hearts changed, and we adopted an Indie puppy. Tintin is now a happy, naughty, seven-month-old pup, and very much a part of our family.&nbsp; This experience teaches me every day that happiness requires courage, sometimes in small doses, and other times in large quantities.&nbsp;<hr><h4>Courage is not the opposite of fear</h4>Anyone living with fear can tell you how unhappy they feel. In order to truly become happy, we have to break the shackles of fear. Mental courage is the willingness to steel our <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/about-a-dog-and-a-small-boy" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">minds and hearts</a> to try something difficult, knowing that the outcome is uncertain, yet still being willing to continue in the hope that it will get better.&nbsp;Just like the old me, a lot of people associate courage with lion-heartedness, and if they are fearful, they assume that they’re not courageous. But this thinking is mistaken. Courage is not the lack of fear. If courage were simply fearlessness, then all serial killers are probably more courageous than most of us.&nbsp;Nelson Mandela once said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”I have an honest confession to make – I am afraid of our puppy most of the time, but somehow find the courage when I need to put my hand inside his mouth to remove toys and other objects.&nbsp;<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dog_and_a_small_boy3_1_c86785ffcc.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T10:09:42.416Z" alt=""><hr><h4>Where to find courage?</h4>Just like hope and compassion, courage lies within us at all times. We might have to dig deep, but it does exist. How do we access it?<h5>To begin</h5><ul><li>Believe in yourself more than your fears. &nbsp;</li><li>The next and crucial thing is to take that first step.&nbsp; Try this small exercise: for a month, try and say yes to the opportunities that look scary and then watch how you respond. You will be surprised.</li><li>Bravely overcoming one small fear gives you the courage to take on the next one.</li></ul><hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dog_and_a_small_boy4_1_6490ee141e.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T10:21:30.118Z" alt=""><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dog_and_a_small_boy5_1_b58be38dda.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T10:22:21.951Z" alt="dog-and-a-small-boy4"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dog_and_a_small_boy7_1_fa7ec5c697.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T10:23:59.132Z" alt="">&nbsp;<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dog_and_a_small_boy6_58856c6082.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T10:04:31.460Z" alt=""><hr><h4>Lead a happier life</h4>Taking that step of saying yes to Eklavya has benefited me in more ways than one:We were able to set an example for our son.Choosing courage equipped us with the ability to empower him to do the same.Being courageous in the midst of fear honed our character, making us stronger.Embracing courage increased our sense of happiness. We have had so many happy moments with Tintin.<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dog_and_a_small_boy8_db2239f6ae.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T10:06:13.477Z" alt=""><hr>To sum it up, courage is the willingness to move forward, despite the fear, worry, and anxiety that might be threatening to overwhelm us.One of the best ways to be courageous is to face fear head-on but refuse to allow it to paralyze you. If you let it, fear has the power to stop you from being happy, moving forward, taking risks, or even owning a dog! Learn to become courageous so that you can live a regret-free, happy life and show others that it’s possible to do the same.&nbsp;<hr><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dog_and_a_small_boy9_1a70d3de22.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-10T10:12:56.029Z" alt=""><hr><hr><h4>Art by SUKRITI VADHERA KOHLI</h4><hr>

About a dog and a small boy

Sulochana is from Chennai, India, and studies at the Heartfulness International School, Omega Branch. Her passion for writing is fueled by her zeal for reading. She has been learning Hindustani music for five years, and is a part of the Creaplay Theater group at school.

sulochana-santhosh.webp

Sulochana Santhosh

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">SULOCHANA SANTHOSH is a young and inspired writer who reminds us of the need to care for our ocean and the environment in general. What are you doing to make a difference?</h4>&nbsp;Saturdays are days meant for sleeping in. Lazing around. Days where you eat your favorite breakfast in bed (hopefully), not days where you wake up at 5 a.m. and participate in a beach clean-up.Hi! I’m River and I’m 12 years old. My family runs Save the Seas Campaign. Boring! I know! And yes, my name is actually River. My older sister’s name is even worse (according to me). It’s Ocean. The strange thing is, she actually likes her name. No, she’s not a weirdo, she’s a people-pleaser. Lately, she’s been obsessed with saving the seas and whatnot. My parents were so excited when she announced she was going to help them with their campaign this year that they decided this Saturday beach clean-up would be a celebration to welcome her into the campaign.Anyway, fast forward to “B-day” (Get it? Beach-day, never mind). It was a tug-of-war from the get-go. I absolutely refused to get up, and my parents left Ocean, their commander-in-chief, to wage this battle. All I can say is that it was 5 a.m., and she should have expected she wouldn’t win. Once I was finally up, our parents made us walk to the beach as a good warm up. Can you believe it?Now came the actual war. The second we reached the beach, I told my parents that I would be working alone in a far-away corner. They tried to get us all to work together, but they soon realized they were fighting a losing battle and gave up. Once I was in my corner of the beach, I thought to myself, “Great! Now I can just fool around in the water instead of cleaning the beach.”&nbsp;<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/once_upon_saturday2_29a49ae36d.webp" alt="once-upon-saturday2.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_once_upon_saturday2_29a49ae36d.webp 156w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/small_once_upon_saturday2_29a49ae36d.webp 500w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/medium_once_upon_saturday2_29a49ae36d.webp 750w," sizes="100vw">&nbsp;As I got into the cool water, however, I noticed something, a seahorse stuck in a plastic bag. At that moment, I felt a pang of guilt. I knew I couldn’t let the poor thing suffer and had to help somehow. So, I swam under the bag, undid the knot, and set the seahorse free.As I turned to leave, I heard a squeaky, high-pitched voice say, “Thank you, that was kind. People like you are the only reason I haven’t given up on humanity yet.”&nbsp; I nearly jumped out of my skin as I stammered, “Y-you c-can t-talk?”&nbsp; The seahorse just looked at me, disappointed, as he sighed, “Of course I can talk. I always knew humans were ignorant creatures.”Still barely understanding what was going on, I asked him, “Wait please. Was the sea always this polluted?” “Well, the noticeable pollution of the seas started around the late 1400s all over the world, and although there were protests by many people, on and off, it was only recognized as an actual threat around the 1960s and the 1970s.” “And is this the case all over the world?” “Yes, as runoff and whale hunting are the <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/3-natural-ways-to-harness-the-power-of-water" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">water pollution</a> threats from Asia, ghastly oil spills are mostly from the Middle Eastern countries and the Americas. As for excessive fishing, littering, and garbage dumping, well, all of you are to blame for it.”“Oh! I sincerely apologize on behalf of everyone. What can we do to help?” “Seas are the birthplace of all ecosystems as life originated here. So, by saving them, we are essentially saving ourselves. The good part is, lots of people have started to realize that our seas need saving. So, if we all come together to save our seas, there is still <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/a-diy-guide-to-wellbeing" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">hope for the future</a>.”---“River, get out of bed! We’re going to be late!”&nbsp; Wait, what? “Didn’t we just come back from the beach clean-up?” I asked befuddled. “What? River, we’re going to be really late if you don’t get up asap!”&nbsp; I jumped out of bed and started getting ready. “All right, all right, I’m up.”Ah, so was that all a dream?“River, this is the most energetic I’ve ever seen you,” joked the commander-in-chief, Ocean. Today wasn’t going to be a war.As I was thinking about my dream, I was left with this thought:The magnificent, glistening sea, Infinite in wisdom and beauty, Through its abundance and variety, Never stops giving, Giving us all she has, So, tell me, when will we give back? Oh, mother sea, I bow down to you With gratitude, humility, and apologies&nbsp;<figure class="image"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/once_upon_saturday3_443c49ef73.webp" alt="once-upon-saturday3.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_once_upon_saturday3_443c49ef73.webp 156w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/small_once_upon_saturday3_443c49ef73.webp 500w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/medium_once_upon_saturday3_443c49ef73.webp 750w," sizes="100vw"></figure>

Once upon a Saturday

Suraj is currently an MBA student at UC Berkeley Haas. He has been a consultant for large government clients and studied engineering at Georgia Tech. Suraj is a storyteller at heart, and is a blogger and public speaker. His aspiration is to create ripples of change in the communities he’s in.

Suraj-Seghal.jpg

Suraj Sehgal

<h4>Back in 2015, while a college student, SURAJ SEHGAL explored friendship, and came up with 4 ways to be a better friend. They are timeless in their wisdom and will help you cultivate a giving attitude toward others.</h4>It wasn’t until I came to college that I began to appreciate my friends and what it meant to have a friendship. When you are suddenly&nbsp;surrounded by people everywhere, and are&nbsp;also given more duties&nbsp;and responsibility, the day-to-day tradeoff between investing in friendships and expending effort&nbsp;on classes, work, and organizations becomes&nbsp;much more tangible.&nbsp;For me, this helped me realize some important aspects of friendship that have helped me grow.Whether you are trying to make new relationships or maintain old bonds, below are a few simple ways in which you can improve that balance and grow to become a better friend:<img class="image_resized" style="width:25%;" src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/be_a_better_friend2_6cb9f0b45f.jpg" alt="be-a-better-friend2.jpg" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_be_a_better_friend2_6cb9f0b45f.jpg 156w," sizes="100vw"><h4>1. Show up</h4>Whether it’s an event that your friend has planned or just a trip to the grocery store, being present is a powerful way of showing that you care. Even just seeing someone’s face over several occasions&nbsp;can go a long way in making them seem familiar.<img class="image_resized" style="width:25%;" src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/be_a_better_friend3_d5c2eb8bd7.jpg" alt="be-a-better-friend3.jpg" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_be_a_better_friend3_d5c2eb8bd7.jpg 156w," sizes="100vw"><h4>2. Reach out&nbsp;</h4>When&nbsp;you remember somebody you haven’t spoken to in a while, take a moment to reach out to them. It takes no more than a minute to text someone a “How are you?” or a “Let’s catch up!”, but in a world where everyone knows hundreds of people, taking the time to reach out with a simple hello can make you&nbsp;stand out. After all, don’t we all like to be remembered?<img class="image_resized" style="width:25%;" src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/be_a_better_friend4_de7dc34532.jpg" alt="be-a-better-friend4.jpg" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_be_a_better_friend4_de7dc34532.jpg 156w," sizes="100vw"><h4>3. Accommodate</h4>For many of us, with our busy lives, busy jobs, and constant work, we often find it very&nbsp;difficult to see the relevance of talking to anybody&nbsp;who is not&nbsp;actively present&nbsp;in our day-to-day&nbsp;activities.&nbsp;We become so absorbed in our&nbsp;mundane tasks that we often forget those people&nbsp;who have helped to&nbsp;make our experiences&nbsp;worthwhile. When someone is making an effort to reach out to you, try to accommodate. Recognize how much effort the other person has been making by letting them know that you notice how much they have been giving to you and try to give back as much as you can.<img class="image_resized" style="width:25%;" src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/be_a_better_friend5_e35f831567.jpg" alt="be-a-better-friend5.jpg" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_be_a_better_friend5_e35f831567.jpg 156w," sizes="100vw"><h4>4. Appreciate&nbsp;</h4>Many times, we forget that along with our families, our friends have shaped much of who we are today. Take a brief moment to look within and acknowledge&nbsp;who has had an impact on you. Whether it has been because of a deep&nbsp;conversation or a passing compliment, if someone has helped to change you or your perspective, take the time to let them know – it has the potential to mean more than you can imagine.&nbsp;We all meet each other for a reason, and it is important to appreciate that&nbsp;everyone plays a&nbsp;role&nbsp;in our development and growth, whether it is&nbsp;the professor&nbsp;who taught you&nbsp;discipline or the grade school bully who helped&nbsp;you develop patience.Ultimately, there is no formula for being a better friend. Maintaining friendships and good relationships is a continual process that takes intention, love, and time. And while we may never be perfect friends, with some planning and better understanding, our little efforts can go a long way in helping uplift those who have helped us on our journey.First published in Heartfulness Magazine in November 2015<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Illustrations by JASMEE MUDGAL</h4><hr>&nbsp;

4 ways to be a better friend

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">SURAJ SEHGAL reflects upon coming together and creating community with change and vision.</h4>Moving to a new place, graduating, starting a new job, getting married. There are so many different phases in our lives and points in our life in which we find ourselves reflecting on what is our community, where is our community, and how we want to be a part of it, and how we want to build community. In our own experience, having moved from the east coast to west coast of the USA for the first time, we needed to rebuild a sense of people, a community of people that help each other and stay in touch with each other. Here are a few things we discovered that helped us to feel part of a new community.&nbsp;So number one is <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/leave-it-behind-the-baseline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">consistency</a>, doing things regularly, whether it’s a weekly group meditation and dinner, or a monthly trip or hike, or a consistent meet up. Consistency in the world that we live in today, where everyone is flaking and has a million different priorities, is a challenge. But part of setting up a community is showing that you care about it, and so being consistent and regular in whatever you pursue, really goes a long way in setting up a long term community. If it’s a newsletter, or an online community, a newsletter that is weekly, biweekly, quarterly – whatever it is, be consistent. Or, have a phone call with a friend, be consistent and regular with those things.&nbsp;The second is availability, a big <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/the-4-phases-of-community" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">part of community</a>, whether it’s meditation or otherwise, is asking yourself the question: How am I making myself available to other people? This doesn’t mean that you have to say yes to everything, but consider, am I available for the big moments in someone’s life? Whether it's their birthday, their parents visiting the graduation that they have, in what ways am I making myself available for other people to participate in my life? Am I thinking I’m going to do everything on my own, and not giving people the opportunity to come and enjoy, and celebrate with me or work together?&nbsp;The last is vision, to have a deep sense of community, I find that it’s really important to have set an intention or a vision of what it is that you’re inviting, and then to let that guide you in in your day to day activities.&nbsp;So life is unpredictable. We have no idea who or what will come into our lives. But if you have a vision of the kind of community or feeling that you want to create, of brotherhood, of friendship, of a bond of people helping each other, nurture that vision, meditate on that vision, pray for it, inviting it mentally. Then, allow that vision to inspire what you can do next, how you can reach out to people and who you might know what you might do next.

How to build a community

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">SURAJ SEHGAL speaks with MAMATA SUBRAMANYAM about coming together and creating community with change and vision.</h4>Q: You're a Heartfulness trainer. Can you explain what that means?SS: A byproduct of what we do is <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/cultivating-leadership-values-part-2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">serving humanity</a> and serving each other. One of the primary roles and responsibilities of a trainer, however, is to represent the living guide and to understand that he has a purpose in the work that he’s doing, and work on his behalf. There's often more to the work than we understand at our mundane and human level.Q: Why is having a living trainer essential for <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/the-science-behind-creating-a-daily-meditation-practice" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">meditation practice</a>, whether for new or seasoned practitioners?SS: I think mastery of any field always benefits from a teacher, whether it's a karate master or an art teacher; we learn by mimicking and by understanding those who have excelled in the field before us. As humans, we have a unique ability to read books and understand things from the past and then build on them. The entire scientific body is all about constantly iterating and reworking and retesting and discovering new things, building on what we've already learned so far.To me, the spiritual field is total. It dictates and influences every aspect of your being and life, making it even more important to have someone who can guide you and provide direction when needed. There's so much that I've learned. I think it's that quote of “Inspiration is caught, not taught,” right? And while the guides of Heartfulness have developed and codified a set of practices that, if followed, will deepen a person, spiritually speaking, there's still so much more that is learned by just observing the way that they talk, conduct themselves, the way they respond to a question, the way that they walk.So much of human life is about how we respond, where we place our attention, and how we respond to what’s around us. And I think in observing Daaji and the guides before him as well, sometimes consciously, I've picked up things about the way they place a glass on a table, or the way they notice something that seems like they had ignored. And they continued to think about the feelings of someone they had spoken to just a few hours before. Some of that I can consciously imbibe, but a lot of it is unconscious, the sitting, the way that we, on a mass scale, like during a large meditation gathering, unconsciously imbibe from that teaching done in silence together.Q: As you say this, I'm just reflecting on the trainers that I've watched. I see the uniqueness of how each trainer conducts themselves, whether it is their poise, the way they pause, or their awareness of others and their needs. I also know that, like any of us, they are human and consistently work on growing to be the type of person they want to be, based on the principles of Heartfulness.In the moments where you, as a trainer, feel like you struggle with that point of growth, how do you handle it? And what should we even be aspiring toward?SS: Most recently, I became a parent. It has had me reflecting a lot on what the role of a parent is in a child's life. In many ways, we're all emotional machines, right? We come into this world with a capacity for thinking, attention, and skill development. But a lot of that is dependent on where we place our attention. Much of where we direct our attention is dependent on the emotions that guide us.Why does a kid focus on one thing or the other? Somewhere, it is the expectations and the emotional reward or punishment, however slight, given by the structure in which they grow up. The ones around us shape us. It's a simple fact. Whether it's a schoolteacher with expectations or a school system that gets you to focus a lot on grades, you place a lot of emotions on these situations, and your achievements are motivated by that.I’ve had friends who were really into physical fitness, mainly because their family history in the military emphasized the importance of physical fitness and prowess. Even though they ended up pursuing their PhD, being fit was just a part of their being, right? The emotions from early on and throughout our lives make us emotional machines.The reason I bring that up is that we're each so different, and we all have our desires, thoughts, and aspirations. Thinking about the role of a parent, I cannot stop my kid from falling. I cannot protect them from the fact that they have fallen; life happens. Their heart will be broken. They will aspire for something and fail. I cannot save them from that. But often the role of the parent is to guide and direct a kid's attention, to say, “Oh, you failed. But look at what you can do next. You can also get back up.” Your role is almost to serve as an emotional guide on how to handle something, because we are emotional machines.Every time we face something for the first time, it is extremely emotional, right? When I was a graduate student instructor at UC Berkeley, I would sit one-on-one with so many students who were receiving a C for the first time in their lives. As someone who generally tries to be empathetic and meet people where they’re at, I would engage with these students and understand that “failing” feels like a lot. This feels like the end of the world for you. And the only thing I can tell you, as someone who’s lived ten more years, is that you will probably receive a few more Cs throughout college. This is your first semester, your first year, and it’s okay; you will get through it. This isn’t easy, but it’s something that you can learn from. It gave me a lot of insight into the role of a parent, which is that you've just been through a lot of things before. That's why grandparents can be so comforting; they've experienced a wide range of emotions and ups and downs.The role of a trainer is very similar; when I reflect on the way I’ve grown in the last ten years, it’s all been inward. Much of it revolves around emotions and conditions, encompassing the mastery of intense emotions. How do I deal with a day when I suddenly feel an intense craving to become one with the Divine, and it’s unbearable? Where do I go? Does anyone even understand what that feeling is? That’s where having a trainer is important; it’s not just somebody who has mastered it and knows exactly what to do next. It's somebody who’s maybe experienced that condition before you and can tell you, “Hey, you're not alone, and I see that you've fallen, I've also fallen.” It reminds us that having experienced a certain level of emotions and mastery in the past doesn’t necessarily mean we’re good. It only serves as a foundation for us to continue learning, trying, and remembering that, no matter what difficulties we face, a trainer is also there to give us support.&nbsp;<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/heartfulness_trainer2_dfa91dff31.webp" alt="heartfulness-trainer2.webp">&nbsp;Q: Heartfulness is now millions strong, with over 16,000 trainers supporting the organization in 160 countries. We're growing rapidly, and it can be challenging to stay connected to one another. There are all these links, including trainers, that keep us all together. I often reflect on my responsibility as a trainer to build community wherever I am around meditation, not because I think my way is the best, but because I know that I simply want to connect with people, heart to heart. I imagine that it is a similar feeling for you.SS: One of the keystones of a good spiritual practice is the community. There is so much that we can learn from one another; in supporting each other, we also grow. I grew up in a world where both my parents were trainers, surrounded by weekly group meditations and people visiting our home for individual sessions. That translated to what I thought of as community; it felt super normal to host a housewarming, a Diwali party, or a holiday get-together and simply start with a meditation, followed by food. You mark it with a sacred silence in communion with the people around you. It is in silence that we share, not only our love with the Divine, but we share that divine love.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">One of the keystones of a good spiritual practice is the community. There is so much that we can learn from one another;&nbsp; in supporting each other, we also grow.</h4><hr>What made our marriage ceremony so special was that it was conducted by my spiritual guide, in silence, and surrounded by some of our closest family members. In those forty minutes, I felt like I shared and received so much more with these loved ones than you could have ever said or given in an envelope. To me, that's deep, unshakable, and it relies purely on your openness, your heart, and your intention.When it comes to building a community, what’s been truly transformative is coming from a place of: “What is the world that I want to live in? What do I want the world to look and feel like? What are the best parts of humanity that I've experienced, whether in the Heartfulness community, another meditation community, or just in general?” And then to be able to say, “Okay, based on my capacity and means, what can I emulate right now?” But even more than that, “What can I set an intention for, for what I want this area around me to look like?”I think it will soon extend beyond just whether people meditate or not, but to start with the folks who share this sacred silence with you. It goes much further, at least that’s what I felt. We begin with those around us and those we want to look out for. We do whatever is within our means and set an intention for what we aspire to. It will happen. We have the power of meditation and the support of our guide behind us.

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Stanislas Lajugie

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