A note on love

TEJESHWAR SINGH shares his perspective on the nature and nuances of love.

The heart is like a flower
So soft yet filled with valor.
Deep within its chambers
Lies love in all its glamor.

The role of the heart

We often use the heart to describe the emotions we’re feeling, but there is something more to it, and that is love. Love gives the heart its character. We use the heart symbol often to express our love, sometimes in a text message, or a drawing from a child. If it so obviously represents love, then it makes sense to use it for what it is best known. We know that the physical function of the heart is to supply oxygenated blood through the system, keeping it alive and well. I believe it is similar with the emotional heart as well-love passes through the heart and keeps us emotionally healthy.

Where it all starts

Just as charity starts at home, love is also deeply rooted in its home, the heart. It starts with learning to love yourself. This could be accepting who you are or acknowledging your flaws. The more you learn about yourself, the easier it becomes to understand others. We are all capable of love, it is innately present, we only need to channel it through our hearts to spread it throughout our system.

Is it love?

Love, in the true sense, can only be defined by itself. That is because there is nothing quite like it. If I had to express it in words, I would say the deepest echo of your heart, because it comes from you, just as an echo does. You are the source of love. These echoes from your heart manifest in words, actions, and emotions. A fundamental element of an echo is emptiness, in other words, an absence of obstructions. So, the emptier your heart, the more you can fill it with the echoes of love.

If I had to express it in words, I would
say the deepest echo of your heart,
because it comes from you, just as an
echo does. You are the source of love.
These echoes from your heart manifest
in words, actions, and emotions.

Think of it as a wavelength of emotion; when you add other aspects, it either enhances the frequency or disturbs it, just as we have disturbances in radio waves from buildings. A common disturbance is expectation. It is like building a dam that controls the flow of a river. Compare that with a mother holding her newborn for the first time; she has only one predominant feeling. The love channeled through her heart is pure and without conditions, allowing it to flow tremendously without the use of will. It is an example of the love we can all harbor in our hearts.

Love is all around

You came into this world as a product of your parent’s love. A mother nurtures her baby with love. In your youth, falling in love is something you look forward to. A lot of your decisions are made with love at the center.

From the first time your mother holds you to the last time you hold someone dear, it’s love. It’s not just for humans, it’s there in Nature as well. Mother Nature’s love for you provides everything you need. Love is quite literally in the air. The more you look for it, the more you find it.

Love and attachment

Attachment is common where there is love, but it acts as an obstruction. Since you feel you are a part of the person you love, it affects your judgment, because you subconsciously know that the decisions you make about them will affect you as well.

Attachment adds expectation and the idea of possession. On the surface it seems normal to have these feelings, but when things take a turn, it’s the attachment that holds you back from doing what’s best for yourself and the other person. Remember the example of a mother and a new-born. The two were physically attached before birth, but it’s the separation that gives the mother the opportunity to love unconditionally when she sees her baby. Of course, not all of us are mothers, but it serves as an example of what we are capable of.

Loving bad people

How to love everyone? How do you love someone who has done terrible things to you, or terrible things in general? How do you love someone who is in prison for a heinous crime? There are two beautiful ways to do it, and they are prayer and gratitude. You can pray that they are given an opportunity to realize love and change. And you can remain grateful that life provided you with better opportunities, and that you were not in that situation to do something wrong.

The true essence of love is
 not in feeling but in
becoming.

Taking it to the next level

The true essence of love is not in feeling but in becoming.

My spiritual guide, Daaji, has always encouraged me to do everything with love in my heart; it is not enough to love everyone, it is better to become love yourself.

Why become love? Is it not enough to love everyone? Loving everyone is still a limited ideology, whereas love is infinite. When you become love, you will sustain it. Look at it this way: the Moon shines beautifully, but it depends on the Sun for light. The Sun produces its own light and illuminates everything in its path. When you become love, you illuminate the hearts of others. To harbor infinity, you must become infinite yourself.

One question remains: How to become love?

The Heartfulness way is helping me. It is a set of meditative practices that focus on realizing your Self, which is where love begins.

Illustrations by JASMEE MUDGAL