Meredith Klein

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<h4>MEREDITH KLEIN shares her thoughts and experience on self-generosity, and
 especially how to avoid the Buddha’s concept of the second arrow.</h4>
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A teacher of mine offers each cohort of students she works with an exercise where she
 asks them to make a list of all the people they care for in their lives. At the end of five minutes, students put down
 their pens, and then she asks how many people included their own names on their lists. People rarely, if ever, list
 themselves.
Similarly, if I asked you now to make a list of the people for whom you practiced
 generosity, would your name make the list? Most likely not. For most of us, when we are asked how we practice
 generosity, we bring to mind transactional acts of giving between ourselves and something or someone external to us –
 whether another person, institution or organization. Perhaps something tangible is involved, or perhaps what we give
 is intangible (like our time or presence). But almost always, generosity is thought of as an act that binds two
 parties via the act of giving.
Beyond the ways we have been socially conditioned to think about generosity, we may not
 bring ourselves to mind when thinking about our generosity practice, simply because many of us have not built a habit
 of practicing self-generosity. I witness this all the time with my clients, who tell me how they will go to great
 lengths to find time to prepare healthy, nourishing meals when they have guests coming for dinner, but who will
 fiercely resist making the effort to cook for themselves, and may even skip meals altogether. For most people,
 generosity is easier to cultivate for people and things outside themselves, and far harder to conjure up for
 ourselves.
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There are many ways to practice self-generosity, and while many are active practices of
 dedicating time and resources towards our own betterment, there are also practices of restraint – abstaining from a
 particular behavior can present a path for self-generosity.
One of the most fruitful ways in which I’ve found to apply this form of self-generosity
 is the practice of avoiding the second arrow. This comes from a parable in which the Buddha taught that while we
 cannot avoid the first arrow (inevitable acts of suffering), we can avoid the second arrow that we inflict upon
 ourselves in the form of our reaction to the first arrow.
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<h5 style="text-align: center;">For most of us, our default second arrow 
 is to travel down a thought spiral of 
 self-criticism because of our mistake. 
 By avoiding the second arrow, 
 we practice generosity towards ourselves 
 by actively choosing to keep our mental space 
 clear of self-criticism.
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This practice is especially potent in situations where we have made any type of mistake.
 For most of us, our default second arrow is to travel down a thought spiral of self-criticism because of our mistake.
 By avoiding the second arrow, we practice generosity towards ourselves by actively choosing to keep our mental space
 clear of self-criticism. For example, if I break a glass and cut myself, an act of self-generosity would be to simply
 witness what happened, bandage my hand, and pick up the broken glass. The less generous path would be to pile on
 stories about how I am clumsy or have failed to be mindful.
When we practice in this way, we allow ourselves to tap into a deeper form of generosity
 – the recognition that as human beings, we will never adhere to any model of perfection. Freed from the shackles of
 the unrealistic expectations we hold for ourselves, we can extend this remembrance to others. In this way,
 self-generosity can be the fuel for the extension of greater generosity of spirit to everyone we encounter.
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<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article by MEREDITH KLEIN 
 Illustrations by OLGA TASHLIKOVICH</h4>


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The second arrow

<h4>MEREDITH KLEIN gives us an Ayurvedic perspective on how to balance both the
 mind and body through the foods we eat. In particular, she focuses on the nature of vata, which is
 particularly susceptible to imbalance during the autumn months, currently experienced in the Northern Hemisphere.
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Could the food on your plate stand between you and a peaceful mind?
The ancient science of Ayurveda says absolutely! In understanding our bodies and minds
 to be subject to the same energetic patterns as everything else in the universe, when we feel scattered, erratic,
 and particularly busy in the mind, we are suffering from an excess of vata energy. Vata is ruled
 by the elements of air and space; the creative, generative energy of life. Physically it manifests in conditions
 characterized by dryness, irregularity and lightness, including insomnia, constipation and chapped skin. In the
 mind, vata is experienced as quick-moving thoughts, inability to focus, and excessive anxiety.
During the fall or autumn, we are particularly susceptible to vata imbalance,
 but given the pace of modern life and its many competing demands, I find that just about everyone I encounter has
 some amount of work to do to pacify vata.
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<h5 style="text-align: center;">Vata is ruled by the elements of air and space; 
 the creative, generative energy of life.</h5>
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At its heart, Ayurveda is fundamentally a science of balance. Any time we detect an
 excess of a particular energetic quality, we treat it by inviting in the opposite qualities. One of the best ways to
 overcome imbalance is through diet, since we eat several times a day. Every meal becomes an opportunity to make wise
 choices that help restore us to a place of optimal balance and wellness.
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<h5 style="text-align: center;">Preparing your own food you can take responsibility
 
 for tailoring it in ways you will most enjoy, 
 and that will provide the maximum healing effects.
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When you find yourself experiencing the overwhelm of a racing mind, or subject to
 physical conditions that reflect the qualities mentioned, consider these guidelines when choosing what to consume:

Choose foods that are warm and moist. Stews, dahls and
 soups are optimal choices, as is anything else that requires a bowl rather than a plate. Raw salads, smoothies and
 dry foods like cookies, crackers and toast can throw us further out of balance. If you do eat these things, consider
 using warming spices like ginger, cinnamon or cloves in dressings or spreads that can accompany your meals.
Favor foods that are sweet or slightly sour. The sweet and sour
 tastes are recognized in Ayurveda to be vata-balancing. Avoid sweetness in the form of refined sugars and
 choose foods that are naturally sweet. Consider introducing these flavors via condiments to accompany your meals,
 like chutneys. Fruit is most balancing when cooked (see the recipe below).
Eat near the earth. Foods that grow in the soil – potatoes, beets,
 parsnips and other root vegetables – are inherently grounding, as are the numerous winter squash varieties that grow
 on ground-level vines.
Eat meals you prepare yourself. The simple act of cooking can be a
 very grounding exercise, and in preparing your own food you can take responsibility for tailoring it in ways you
 will most enjoy, and that will provide the maximum healing effects.
This easy vata-balancing recipe makes for a healthy dessert or a tasty topping
 for warm breakfast cereals.

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<h3 style="text-align: center;">Warm Fruit Compote</h3>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Ingredients:</h4>
2 large green apples, peeled and diced into ¾ inch pieces 
 2 pears, peeled and diced into ¾ inch pieces 
 1/3 cup dried prunes (or other dried fruit of your choice) 
 1/8 cup golden raisins 
 Half a vanilla bean pod (optional)
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Preparation:</h4>
Place all ingredients in a saucepan and add 1/2 cup of water. 
 Bring water to the boil over medium-high heat, then reduce heat to a gentle simmer. 
 Cover the pot and let fruit cook 15 to 20 minutes, until soft but not mushy. 
 Serve immediately. 
 Leftovers can be refrigerated and reheated.

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<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article by MEREDITH KLEIN</h4>
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