Blessing In Disguise #HumansOfHeartfulness

Marudhar Rathore

I have been practicing Heartfulness meditation for the past 11 years, and it has taught me to see life as a beautiful, God-given gift. I was born differently abled with a biological problem called meningomyelocele which, among other things, makes walking without support very difficult. I look at my life now as before Heartfulness and after Heartfulness, and how differently I tackle the issue of my disability now.
Before I got into this meditation system, my major preoccupation was, “Why me?”. This feeling of being hard done by overshadowed every moment of my life; what deeds of mine made God punish me with such a life in this body? This negativity often made me underestimate myself because I perceived myself to be less capable and hence, less worthy than others. I fell short of will power too and convinced myself that I couldn’t do something simply out of fear of being judged. I also found it hard to express myself which added to my lack of confidence.
I carried around an invisible barrier of resentment and was generally not very approachable. And of course, I was full of anger, mostly for God for making me this way. There were a multitude of things which I still find difficult to talk about to date. Then, one fine day, I discovered something and I’ve never looked back since.
The Heartfulness meditation system gave me a new lease of life, it was like being reborn but in a more joyful existence. First of all, I started to love myself, my life and yes, even my disability. I felt like the chosen one and realized how fortunate I am that God blessed me with such a life, without this disability I wouldn’t respect my life. This meditation made me wiser and showed me I can feel from my heart and not with my brain. It also taught me patience and tolerance, and to be expressive. I made myself into a positive thinker with enormous will power and utmost confidence. And yes, I am grateful now for this amazing gift of life and reconciled to live it as per His plans.