When I was 16, I discovered Heartfulness meditation. My practice began with the relaxation technique, followed by meditation for 30 minutes a day. Initially, my experience with meditation was very ordinary, it was more about the enthusiasm of doing something new rather than understanding what it was all about.
With the practice, I inculcated valuable things in my life – like doing good deeds, staying positive, being empathetic towards everyone, and accepting each individual as they are and to not judge them. But with the ups and downs in my life, my practice became irregular just when I really needed it the most. I was unable to understand why people were not good and kind to me when I was being good and kind to them.
I was filled with anger and hatred, especially when one of my closest friends let me down. I started to have expectations of others and this corrupted me. Expectations trap us in an infinite mess. I had no coping mechanism for such emotions and disappointments and distanced myself from people, and soon people around me started viewing me as a rude and selfish person. I made mistakes with people and my choices. Over the years, this piled up as a huge weight in my heart.
I met my Heartfulness trainer one day and shared what I was feeling. The trainer helped me to look at the bigger picture of life and I pulled myself out of this difficult phase with the help of meditation. Forgiveness and acceptance of things helped me.
With time, my meditation practice improved, making me feel lighter and simpler. The thought of feeling the source of divine light in the heart helped to bring about stillness and balance in my life. I learnt that no matter what happens in my life, I won’t let it impact my inner condition. Meditation has helped to remove certain traits of mine and enabled me to accept anything that may come about in my life. I realised that an open heart never closes the door on trust and faith, despite all disappointments and betrayals. The one constant thing throughout my journey was my wish to change from the bottom of my heart. I am truly grateful to be a part of the Heartfulness community.